Why does my MIL do this?? Baby item edition.

[Anonymous]

I mean, I agree with PPs that she’s likely trying to encourage more visits this way. But I still see why OP is annoyed because

1) If this is why, just state it up front. Yes, OP could ask but why should she have to? It comes off as passive aggressive to make these requests instead of just saying “I’d love to see you all more often but I know it’s hard to travel with kids— is there anything you’d like to leave behind for us to store so it’s easier next time? Like it’s weird to just keep saying “you should leave your stroller!” without explaining why you think it’s a good idea, even when they keep declining.

2) Most of you have mentioned your parents or ILs went out and acquired items like this (either bought or second hand) to facilitate visits when you had kids. That’s not what OP’s MIL is doing— she’s asking them to leave items they bought and are still using. That’s weird! It would make sense if you mentioned you’d been thinking of upgrading, but otherwise it seems like she’s asking them to get duplicates of all their gear so she can have all their stuff. That’s the laziest possible way to go about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants them as props to show people who drop by how involved she is, and/or take FB photos with the props in the background.

In any case, just ignore. And don’t spend valuable time pondering this odd behavior when it doesn’t actually affect you and yours!

This. They're props to help her get attention from her friends. Ick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to visit more often and leaving those things there will make it easier to travel also you do it more than once a year. Duh. When my kids were born my mom went out and bought a crib, borrowed strollers and high chairs and such all to make visiting her home as easy for us as possible. We appreciated it. But, there you go, always looking for the negative.

I mean this seems the obvious answer. Who wants to haul a clunky stroller and pack-n-play across country multiple times. Just leave it there since you know you’re coming back. [

Absolutely not.

-not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to visit more often and leaving those things there will make it easier to travel also you do it more than once a year. Duh. When my kids were born my mom went out and bought a crib, borrowed strollers and high chairs and such all to make visiting her home as easy for us as possible. We appreciated it. But, there you go, always looking for the negative.

+1 when my sister and I had babies my parents got a pack -n-play, and high chair to make visits easier for us. Not a stroller since we needed that to get through the airport anyway.

The difference is that your parents went and got those things themselves and didn't try to take ones the parents are clearly using after being told no more than once before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ask her!

I mean, my god OP. Are you just looking for a fight?

+1. It’s amazing to me how people on this board find any reason to low key hate on their MILs. It’s the only thing I can think of when people post stuff like this, they are hoping people will say how horrible and selfish MIL is. This seems so obvious to me, when she asks just respond “why?”.

[Anonymous]

My god, you people get annoyed if MIL breathes wrong. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to visit more often and leaving those things there will make it easier to travel also you do it more than once a year. Duh. When my kids were born my mom went out and bought a crib, borrowed strollers and high chairs and such all to make visiting her home as easy for us as possible. We appreciated it. But, there you go, always looking for the negative.

+1 when my sister and I had babies my parents got a pack -n-play, and high chair to make visits easier for us. Not a stroller since we needed that to get through the airport anyway.

The difference is that your parents went and got those things themselves and didn't try to take ones the parents are clearly using after being told no more than once before.

How many times as OP been told no? She visits once a year and has one baby. How many years has the baby been a baby? Was she bringing a pack and play for years for practice? Obviously she doesn't like MIL and struggled to see the most basic reason for the behavior and came up with at least 7 other off the wall explanations. OP is not right in the head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to visit more often and leaving those things there will make it easier to travel also you do it more than once a year. Duh. When my kids were born my mom went out and bought a crib, borrowed strollers and high chairs and such all to make visiting her home as easy for us as possible. We appreciated it. But, there you go, always looking for the negative.

This. And it would make it a lot easier. which doesn't mean you have to do it - it's also a lot more expensive since you are buying double the gear. But yeah, we left a travel high chair, baby gate, pack and play and mattress, and toys at my parents' house for several years. Sister's family and I took turns using them when we visited, unless we were visiting together, in which case we got dibs since we paid for the stuff and sister lugged the necessary items from home. And this was for a 4-hour drive in a car. If we'd had to fly to visit, we'd have left a lot more stuff than that.

[Anonymous]

I think you should do some self reflection about why none of your listed options included the very obvious - that she loves you all and wishes you would visit more.

Why were you unable to see that as a potential explanation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to visit more often and leaving those things there will make it easier to travel also you do it more than once a year. Duh. When my kids were born my mom went out and bought a crib, borrowed strollers and high chairs and such all to make visiting her home as easy for us as possible. We appreciated it. But, there you go, always looking for the negative.

Exactly. OP this isn’t rocket science. Duh is right.

Right? This seems obvious. Why in the world would OP automatically jump to the conclusion that the MIL wants to sell it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should do some self reflection about why none of your listed options included the very obvious - that she loves you all and wishes you would visit more.

Why were you unable to see that as a potential explanation?

+1. My mom and MIL both did this. Don’t get me wrong, they can both grind my gears at times but it was clear in this instance they were just so excited to be grandmas and wanted us to keep things with them so we would visit more.

[Anonymous]

I’d be annoyed that she wanted me to leave expensive items at her house. Who does that?

[Anonymous]

OP do you have siblings who may have kids in the future? Does your mother host things for extended family ..ie her siblings and their adult children who may have babies? She may want it for them when they visit.

Does your mom like to give things to nearby relatives? She may be thinking that the baby will out grow the items before she sees you again and she wants to give it to another relative.

[Anonymous]

So the only reasons you came up with op are selfish ones or criticism of you? Says a lot about you!
Your MIL sounds like a nice, thoughtful person, you on the other hand... Narcissist to the core.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to visit more often and leaving those things there will make it easier to travel also you do it more than once a year. Duh. When my kids were born my mom went out and bought a crib, borrowed strollers and high chairs and such all to make visiting her home as easy for us as possible. We appreciated it. But, there you go, always looking for the negative.

This. Also, she's new at having grandkids, so don't make assumptions that she will never babysit, etc. My mom (old school Southerner) is a first-time grandma and will never set dates to come visit without us suggesting it first, even though she wants to be very involved. Why? Because she doesn't want to impose and knows hosting guests is hard.