Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

Everyone deserves those resources. PP got them, and I’m happy for her. But the truth is she would have been fine without them. Not extraordinary, no PhD, probably making less money in a less interesting or rewarding or comfortable job. Fine. Like everyone else.

Lots of people have learning disabilities. Lots of people have ADHD. If they are mild enough that you are okay without accommodation, there is little difference between you and a person who struggles because their parents had a messy divorce or because they are unusually sensitive. Everybody’s got problems.

But who decides what "okay" is? If somebody clearly has ADHD but is able to get Bs and Cs, does that necessarily mean their ADHD is mild enough that they don't need things others don't, like extra time on tests or medications?

Also my parents had a messy divorce and I have ADHD, and even though I was able to become an attorney without treatment, the ADHD is 100x worse than the messy divorce. So I'll have to disagree with you there.

[Anonymous]

^ sorry I bolded the wrong thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

Everyone deserves those resources. PP got them, and I’m happy for her. But the truth is she would have been fine without them. Not extraordinary, no PhD, probably making less money in a less interesting or rewarding or comfortable job. Fine. Like everyone else.

Lots of people have learning disabilities. Lots of people have ADHD. If they are mild enough that you are okay without accommodation, there is little difference between you and a person who struggles because their parents had a messy divorce or because they are unusually sensitive. Everybody’s got problems.

But who decides what "okay" is? If somebody clearly has ADHD but is able to get Bs and Cs, does that necessarily mean their ADHD is mild enough that they don't need things others don't, like extra time on tests or medications?

Also my parents had a messy divorce and I have ADHD, and even though I was able to become an attorney without treatment, the ADHD is 100x worse than the messy divorce. So I'll have to disagree with you there.

For you. Why do you assume your experience is universal.

The issue is that when we create a special class and say “these children need more” and we include well-resourced kids with parents who are determined to get them every advantage, but not poor-resourced kids who are just expected to muddle through, we’ve totally corrupted the idea of “special needs.”

I was never suggesting the PP didn’t need the resources she got. Just pointing out that the failure to acknowledge that only kids from certain backgrounds get this kind of support is obnoxious. To say, “I am special needs” but not recognize that by this definition LOTS of people are special needs who never get this support, because they lack access to resources that would enable them to get accommodations is arrogant.

For every person like PP, there are a hundred or more kids with undiagnosed LDs, ADHD, or worse, who have no one to advocate for them. And some of them probably now work with PP and while she is given special accommodations, they struggle every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

I mean, I’m a big ball of shame and anxiety about not meeting my potential at work. Am I special needs?

At a certain point, this IS objective. A disability has to be defined as something that truly burdens the ability to conduct life activities. People who get PhDs, hold down jobs, have families…. are not disabled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

I mean, I’m a big ball of shame and anxiety about not meeting my potential at work. Am I special needs?

At a certain point, this IS objective. A disability has to be defined as something that truly burdens the ability to conduct life activities. People who get PhDs, hold down jobs, have families…. are not disabled.

(sorry I mean - not mentally disabled. possibly physically disabled.)

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

Everyone deserves those resources. PP got them, and I’m happy for her. But the truth is she would have been fine without them. Not extraordinary, no PhD, probably making less money in a less interesting or rewarding or comfortable job. Fine. Like everyone else.

Lots of people have learning disabilities. Lots of people have ADHD. If they are mild enough that you are okay without accommodation, there is little difference between you and a person who struggles because their parents had a messy divorce or because they are unusually sensitive. Everybody’s got problems.

But who decides what "okay" is? If somebody clearly has ADHD but is able to get Bs and Cs, does that necessarily mean their ADHD is mild enough that they don't need things others don't, like extra time on tests or medications?

Also my parents had a messy divorce and I have ADHD, and even though I was able to become an attorney without treatment, the ADHD is 100x worse than the messy divorce. So I'll have to disagree with you there.

For you. Why do you assume your experience is universal.

The issue is that when we create a special class and say “these children need more” and we include well-resourced kids with parents who are determined to get them every advantage, but not poor-resourced kids who are just expected to muddle through, we’ve totally corrupted the idea of “special needs.”

I was never suggesting the PP didn’t need the resources she got. Just pointing out that the failure to acknowledge that only kids from certain backgrounds get this kind of support is obnoxious. To say, “I am special needs” but not recognize that by this definition LOTS of people are special needs who never get this support, because they lack access to resources that would enable them to get accommodations is arrogant.

For every person like PP, there are a hundred or more kids with undiagnosed LDs, ADHD, or worse, who have no one to advocate for them. And some of them probably now work with PP and while she is given special accommodations, they struggle every day.

I don't assume my experience is universal.

I think you're being well-intentioned here. But you are perpetuating the idea that in order to get special help, you need to be obviously in need of special help. This leads to schools, employees, parents, community health providers, etc. refusing to provide accommodations and supports to individuals who look like they're doing okay, and, perhaps more importantly, it leads to the impaired individuals themselves not realizing that they can or should have accommodations. And it is actually people who enjoy fewer resources who are going to be harmed the most from this attitude, because it is pervasive and like you say there are many who don't have people to advocate for them.

I get the sense that you are trying to focus your complaint primarily on PP's not acknowledging privilege, but I'm stuck on the fact that you said that somebody who excelled because they were able to get specialized services for a learning disability doesn't have a "special need" when compared to people who don't have learning disabilities. And that attitude is really damaging, especially for the people you are trying to speak up for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

I mean, I’m a big ball of shame and anxiety about not meeting my potential at work. Am I special needs?

At a certain point, this IS objective. A disability has to be defined as something that truly burdens the ability to conduct life activities. People who get PhDs, hold down jobs, have families…. are not disabled.

(sorry I mean - not mentally disabled. possibly physically disabled.)

You're being pretty flippant about some serious issues here, but my answer is I don't know. I'm not your mental healthcare professional. But it doesn't sound healthy and I think you should talk to your therapist about this.

That's so interesting that you added in the "physically disabled" part. Because we have the exact same problem with physical disabilities: if they aren't obvious we tend to not believe they are there and that person doesn't deserve special help. How many times have you heard somebody rant about an apparently able-bodied person having a handicapped sticker, only to learn that yes, they definitely had a serious issue that warranted one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

I mean, I’m a big ball of shame and anxiety about not meeting my potential at work. Am I special needs?

At a certain point, this IS objective. A disability has to be defined as something that truly burdens the ability to conduct life activities. People who get PhDs, hold down jobs, have families…. are not disabled.

(sorry I mean - not mentally disabled. possibly physically disabled.)

You're being pretty flippant about some serious issues here, but my answer is I don't know. I'm not your mental healthcare professional. But it doesn't sound healthy and I think you should talk to your therapist about this.

That's so interesting that you added in the "physically disabled" part. Because we have the exact same problem with physical disabilities: if they aren't obvious we tend to not believe they are there and that person doesn't deserve special help. How many times have you heard somebody rant about an apparently able-bodied person having a handicapped sticker, only to learn that yes, they definitely had a serious issue that warranted one?

It’s absurd to claim that people who get PhDs and hold jobs are disabled by ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

Thank you for articulating what I have been thinking for the longest time but have not been able to put my finger on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

NP. I don’t understand this comment. Can you explain more?

Because the primary differences between the PP and the average student or worker are:

1) A parent with the time, resources, and knowledge (and interest) I strongly advocating for her child to receive extra resources and accommodations so that her child could not merely get by in school, but excel above most others.m; and

2) Access to doctors/therapists who are able to provide official diagnoses that enables advocating for special accommodations like an office in an open plan office, for example.

A person who can excel at that level does not have special needs. They have ordinary needs but, with with extra accommodation and support, can really thrive. That’s true if most people, but most people don’t get it. PP is not uniquely hindered in life. By their own acknowledgement, they can function fine without accommodation. Only very well resourced people can conceptualize special needs in this way. 99% of the population would view someone like this as typical.

No, the primary difference between PP and the "average student or worker" are that she has learning disabilities and ADHD.

It seems like your issue is that PP got access to resources and help that others did not. I agree that is a big problem. But that doesn't mean that she didn't deserve those resources, it just means that many others don't get the resources they deserve. This is true with all instances of unearned privilege. The privileges themselves aren't the problem. The fact that others are denied them is what needs to be changed. I assume you would take no issue with PP's comment were the system to better serve those with greater impairments.

It is absolutely untrue that somebody who can excel doesn't have special needs, regardless of how 99% of the population sees them. This is the big issue with being twice exceptional. Somebody can look like they are doing okay because their intelligence seems to counteract their impairments. But without accommodations typically 2e kids (and adults) are a ball of anxiety and shame about "not reaching their potential." It isn't just about the grades or the career, it's about overall wellbeing. The idea that we should only apportion resources to help people function, not thrive, seems to dismiss the potential severe mental health consequences of being denied accommodations for ADHD or learning disabilities (although I wouldn't even say we are trying to get people to thrive, I'd say we are trying to help them lead a life that isn't substantially more difficult than the lives of neurotypical people).

I mean, I’m a big ball of shame and anxiety about not meeting my potential at work. Am I special needs?

At a certain point, this IS objective. A disability has to be defined as something that truly burdens the ability to conduct life activities. People who get PhDs, hold down jobs, have families…. are not disabled.

(sorry I mean - not mentally disabled. possibly physically disabled.)

You're being pretty flippant about some serious issues here, but my answer is I don't know. I'm not your mental healthcare professional. But it doesn't sound healthy and I think you should talk to your therapist about this.

That's so interesting that you added in the "physically disabled" part. Because we have the exact same problem with physical disabilities: if they aren't obvious we tend to not believe they are there and that person doesn't deserve special help. How many times have you heard somebody rant about an apparently able-bodied person having a handicapped sticker, only to learn that yes, they definitely had a serious issue that warranted one?

It’s absurd to claim that people who get PhDs and hold jobs are disabled by ADHD.

No, it's not. PP was able to get the PhD *because* she got accommodations for her disability. And many people are able to hold jobs just because they have those accommodations.

Also a job isn't everything. Disabilities don't always impair all aspects of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

Privilege? Sure. We were MC and my parents worked hard to help me. My Mom spent time at the library learning what the schools were responsible for providing me and then fought for that. She spent hours doing homework with me. And she got me tutors when I needed them.

But if you think that a kid with dyslexia, dysgraphia, disnomia (sp), disnumeria (sp), and auditory discrimination was going to do just fine without specialized help and accommodations then you are crazy.

There are plenty of kids with LDs and ADHD who are bright but because they process information differently they struggle in school. But you know that. You are not in a position to say that I would be fine without accommodations or without special ed. I did well because I received services. And if you don’t think that there are not day to day issues that I deal with because of my LDs and ADHD as an adult you are crazy.

There was nothing mild about my learning issues. They are not as drastic as many of what families are dealing with here but they clearly distinguished me from my peers at school.

[Anonymous]

No. It doesn’t rise to the level.

[Anonymous]

Someone tried to tell me her kid was “special needs” because he was ADHD and peanut allergic.

Spare me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid I was diagnosed with LDs. I required specialized services throughout school to help me learn. I graduated in the top 10% of my class from high school and went on to earn a PhD. That doesn’t means that I didn’t require special services to meet my needs. I used those special services to be able to attain success in school. My Mom spent a lot of time fighting for those services and providing additional supports so that I could succeed.

I was very much a special needs kid.

As an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. It only reinforced to me how differently I see process information and respond to stimulation around me. I now understand why I get agitated in high stimulation environments and why I struggle with some regular scenarios, like in conversations where I find it hard not to interrupt and why I blurt out information. I am lucky to work in an environment where those issues have no caused me any problems and where I can make a very nice salary but I am pretty well aware that there are many environments where I would struggle. My work place has lots of open seating but they have always found a desk for me in a smaller room. They are fine with my using headphones when most people are discouraged from doing so. They have been accommodating of my quirks.

I am very much an adult with special needs.

Are my needs so great that I would be unable to function without accommodations? Probably not. Would I be in a very different place if I had not received the support I did in school or the accommodations I receive at work? Hell yeah. 100% I would have had a very different life.

There is nothing wrong with being different and knowing that you need some accommodations.

There is so much unacknowledged privilege in this comment I don't even know where to start.

This is why it is sometimes annoying when people with mild ADHD say they are special needs.

Privilege? Sure. We were MC and my parents worked hard to help me. My Mom spent time at the library learning what the schools were responsible for providing me and then fought for that. She spent hours doing homework with me. And she got me tutors when I needed them.

But if you think that a kid with dyslexia, dysgraphia, disnomia (sp), disnumeria (sp), and auditory discrimination was going to do just fine without specialized help and accommodations then you are crazy.

There are plenty of kids with LDs and ADHD who are bright but because they process information differently they struggle in school. But you know that. You are not in a position to say that I would be fine without accommodations or without special ed. I did well because I received services. And if you don’t think that there are not day to day issues that I deal with because of my LDs and ADHD as an adult you are crazy.

There was nothing mild about my learning issues. They are not as drastic as many of what families are dealing with here but they clearly distinguished me from my peers at school.

You said yourself that you could function fine without interventions, but that you would not have achieved as much as you have without them.

The point is not that you didn’t need or deserve these interventions. The point is that you are portraying your situation as typical or representative of special needs kids. It’s not.

Also, there are lots of people who have special needs while young, receive treatment, and then simply are not special needs anymore. I’d put you in this category. That list of LDs is certainly special needs, but if they were well managed enough for you to get a PhD, you aren’t anymore. Sorry, you’re not. I don’t know why it would be important to you to hang on to that identity. It’s clear that as an adult, you are high achieving and self-sufficient. You do not have special needs.

The adult ADHD and accommodations at work? This is 100% your privilege. Heck, at least part of getting this accommodations is the fact that you are very well educated so your employer is more motivated to accommodate your preferred work setting. But it’s not special needs. You like to frame it that way because it got you a private office at work. But that’s just your privilege. You became accustomed to being accommodated and helped, to viewing yourself as someone deserving of special consideration, and now you work the system to get that in other ways.