Do you consider ADHD "special needs"?

[Anonymous]

My daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD-combined, and her biggest issues are inattentiveness and spacey-ness (i.e. she gets lost in her thoughts and doesn't always hear the teachers and other kids). I was also recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and while I have always struggled with executive function stuff, I don't feel like I have "special needs." I did well in school, was a bit quirky, but had friends, and I have a relatively successful career and family life now. I may constantly lose stuff or forget details, but I don't think my needs are special. I want to support my kid and be honest/positive about her diagnosis. She asked me if she "is special needs," and I answered "no! you just need to work harder to focus than some kids and you take a medication that helps with that."

Was my answer wrong? How do you talk with your kids about their ADHD diagnosis? She also once asked if she's "neuro typical." She hears these things at school, and again, I want to be honest with her, but I also don't want to catastrophize something that, for her, is relatively minor and treatable.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It might not be at disability level, but there are things we teachers can and should do to support students with ADHD.

[Anonymous]

"Special needs" is not a thing. Your child needs the same thing as anyone else: to learn, to have friends, etc. Disability is a federally protected category. It's because it's a disability that your child is entitled to services under a 504 or IEP. Disabled/disability isn't a dirty word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Special needs" is not a thing. Your child needs the same thing as anyone else: to learn, to have friends, etc. Disability is a federally protected category. It's because it's a disability that your child is entitled to services under a 504 or IEP. Disabled/disability isn't a dirty word.

Of course “Special Needs” is a thing. It’s the title of this forum. Google it. I have two SN kids

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Very much so. And I also believe that giftedness is a special need as well. Anything at the extremes of human physicality and behavior is a "special" need, because usually people living with them need accommodations. I have a gifted and learning disabled child (with ADHD, HFA, and medical issues), and I have a gifted child. They both need things that are not commonly necessary for the healthy, in-range child. I do my best to adjust their environment at home and at school, while also training them to adapt, as much as possible, to working conditions in the real world beyond school. My cousin is highly gifted and she has had a varied academic and career path, so I'm learning from what her mother tried to do and from what she herself decided to do. Hopefully my kids will have a smooth path.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm I don’t know how I would have answered the question from your DD. I guess I would be surprised my kid knew that phrase to be honest and maybe ask where she heard it and what it meant to her. My kid has ADHD and two other dC so I have referred to her having additional needs in RL to people that I don’t want to get into details with (like co-workers who know I leave early to take her to appointments etc). I have used SN as a short hand on DCUM and one other place on line. My kid knows she’s different. I might try to avoid that label but we have talked since before she can remember about how different people need extra help with different things. Her NT sibling actually need speech therapy we have family members with other things they need specialized help with. I am wondering if she’s going to figure out she has an IEP at some point and that may be harder to explain. Basically I think these terms have whatever weight we give them. Some kids have really significant impact from their ADHD but some don’t.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. My ADHD child (now adult) has gone through an amazing tangle of challenges throughout her life that are directly attributable to her ADHD.

[Anonymous]

You’re just thinking of ‘special needs’ in a negative way and thus your question. If you think of it in terms of the literal definition, then yes you and your child have special needs. You need things to be set up differently from the majority in order to succeed. Depression and anxiety, note, are also dealt with in this forum

[Anonymous]

Yes. She is not neurotypical. Honestly, I’ve had more trouble adjusting to that label than my kids have. It’s better to acknowledge it upfront. Challenges change over time and medications can lose their effectiveness or spawn sufficient side effects to be problematic.

[Anonymous]

“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.

Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.

[Anonymous]

I’d have to meet your daughter before making that decision. ADHD has become so over diagnosed that most kids don’t have ADHD they just have no discipline and are allowed to be on electronics 10 hours a day and miss out on valuable hands on learning opportunities and social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.

Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.

Many of the kids with "just" ADHD in my child's school have more issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships than the one child who I know has an ASD diagnosis.
The diagnoses are not as rigid as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.

Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.

Research scientist here. You are wrong, as you suspected. These terms do not simply refer to one psychiatric diagnosis, they refer to all mental health disorders. "Neurotypical" simply means what's typical behavior in the range of normal. "Neurodivergent" means what is not typical, and it infers there might be a particular diagnosis.

It's very important everyone understands that most mental health issues exist on a spectrum, ie, a range of severity. The DSMs set out a threshold of clinical diagnosis just because we need cut-offs and thresholds to practice medicine! Not because the issue magically disappears below the threshold. Families with a few diagnosed people and a bunch of non-diagnosed ones often notice that they share some of the same behaviors, but when that behavior is exaggerated, it leads to a diagnosis. There is a strong hereditary link to many mental health disorders, but since they exist on a spectrum, some relatives are hardly affected at all, while others are impacted in their daily lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Neurotypical” really refers to autism. People with ADHD typically don’t have the same issues with interpersonal relationships and friendships, and don’t have the very different type of information processing and way of seeing the world as kids with autism. I don’t think it’s correct to lump them together.

Now somebody will say “it’s all on a spectrum!”. OK fine but then none of this has any meaning.

Since we are pathologizing normal, you're correct that none of this has any meaning.