How Do We Fix The Mental Health Crisis Among Affluent Teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts young. Child is struggling a little in school...rush to get a diagnosis and meds. Child is struggling emotionally...rush to the shrink and meds. Parents are always trying to fix things instead of being patient and teaching coping mechanisms.

You don’t think therapists teach coping mechanisms?

I didn't say that therapists don't teach coping mechanisms. I said that parents rush to therapists/psychiatrists instead of trying to teach their kids coping mechanisms themselves. So many parents want a quick fix for their kids problems instead of realizing that kids may just be going through a phase or are maturing at a different rate than peers. These kids go from ADHD drugs to SSRIs to anti-anxiety meds...all by the time their 15 years old. I'm not saying that their aren't some kids for whom these medications are essential. But anyone who thinks there's not a ton of overdiagnosing going on these days is kidding themselves.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts young. Child is struggling a little in school...rush to get a diagnosis and meds. Child is struggling emotionally...rush to the shrink and meds. Parents are always trying to fix things instead of being patient and teaching coping mechanisms.

You don’t think therapists teach coping mechanisms?

I didn't say that therapists don't teach coping mechanisms. I said that parents rush to therapists/psychiatrists instead of trying to teach their kids coping mechanisms themselves. So many parents want a quick fix for their kids problems instead of realizing that kids may just be going through a phase or are maturing at a different rate than peers. These kids go from ADHD drugs to SSRIs to anti-anxiety meds...all by the time their 15 years old. I'm not saying that their aren't some kids for whom these medications are essential. But anyone who thinks there's not a ton of overdiagnosing going on these days is kidding themselves.

Well said.

There is over diagnosing but with many kids its important to get treatment early. The discussion is about affluent teens... many of the parents have other priorities and the kids are raised by nannies or day care or ignored. They need more parenting, not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts young. Child is struggling a little in school...rush to get a diagnosis and meds. Child is struggling emotionally...rush to the shrink and meds. Parents are always trying to fix things instead of being patient and teaching coping mechanisms.

You don’t think therapists teach coping mechanisms?

I didn't say that therapists don't teach coping mechanisms. I said that parents rush to therapists/psychiatrists instead of trying to teach their kids coping mechanisms themselves. So many parents want a quick fix for their kids problems instead of realizing that kids may just be going through a phase or are maturing at a different rate than peers. These kids go from ADHD drugs to SSRIs to anti-anxiety meds...all by the time their 15 years old. I'm not saying that their aren't some kids for whom these medications are essential. But anyone who thinks there's not a ton of overdiagnosing going on these days is kidding themselves.

Well said.

And yet, every time a kid fails at school or struggles at an activity, there is a chorus of voices, including non-parents like teachers or coaches, blaming parents for their kids' struggles. You can't be both hands-off in promoting resilience and solely responsible for your kids' struggles. It's time that we examine the role that all adults, not just parents, play in perpetuating this cycle.

[Anonymous]

I think it's lack of opportunity for kids to be independent. Being stuck at home on social media because you can't go out and meet your friends at the pizza shop when you're 13 is not mentally healthy. In DC as well, housing costs and school "choice" means that there may be no ties to the neighborhood.

Also increasing HS workload. I went to a VERY good public high school and I don't recall ever having more than an hour of homework (and I took calculus BC). The insane number of AP classes. I took, ALL the APs available that ended up being I think 4-5, which was considered a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts young. Child is struggling a little in school...rush to get a diagnosis and meds. Child is struggling emotionally...rush to the shrink and meds. Parents are always trying to fix things instead of being patient and teaching coping mechanisms.

You don’t think therapists teach coping mechanisms?

I didn't say that therapists don't teach coping mechanisms. I said that parents rush to therapists/psychiatrists instead of trying to teach their kids coping mechanisms themselves. So many parents want a quick fix for their kids problems instead of realizing that kids may just be going through a phase or are maturing at a different rate than peers. These kids go from ADHD drugs to SSRIs to anti-anxiety meds...all by the time their 15 years old. I'm not saying that their aren't some kids for whom these medications are essential. But anyone who thinks there's not a ton of overdiagnosing going on these days is kidding themselves.

Why is it bad for therapist to teach coping mechanisms than parents. You think everybody should also he homeschooled. I would argue parents wait too long to seek help as if “coping mechanisms “ taught at home are enough. I think they are often told by ignorant but well meaning friends and family “it’s a stage”. It’d be much better to have multiple touching points with a therapist along the way instead of waiting until HS and try to fix years of maladjustment.

I dont know why therapists are not treated like any other doctor. Why wait until you have a cavity to see a dentist. Why wait until anxiety and depression set in for years to get help.

I’d literally do the opposite of your advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was reading this article in The Atlantic about the suicides at Palo Alto High School:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/12/the-silicon-valley-suicides/413140/

It seems like living in a pressure cooker full of wealthy, well-educated parents in a highly academic environment is a major factor in poor mental health among teenagers. I remember reading a sociological study showing that depression, anxiety, and drug abuse among teenagers plotted to their SES status was like a horseshoe -- most common among wealthy/UMC and poor teens (for very different reasons), but least common among the middle-middle class.

Anecdotally, from DD's private, it seems like almost half of the kids we know are on medications and see a therapist or psychiatrist on a regular basis. The stress and pressure just seem nuts to me, and the constant judgement and competition seem unhealthy for teenagers.

Are there any ways that we as parents can fix this? Pull our kids out of private and put them in an economically diverse public? Move to the Midwest? Insist that our kids don't have to take the most rigorous classes available to them? Be okay with them going to UMD or a SLAC ranked below the Top 20 rather than an Ivy? Put them in therapy with an intense cycle of medications?

Well, first of all you are citing The Atlantic, Doesn't that say a lot about you? I checked out the moment you cited it.

[Anonymous]

Poor kids are having a tough time with mental health too but with fewer resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think parental style or social factors alone are the cause. I suspect it’s something else, though I don’t know what. Because depression among teens is so endemic and crisis level and cuts across so many places, SES levels, and has become so bad so suddenly, I don’t think we can attribute it just to affluence or pressure, though those are tempting targets.

I agree

It's partially due to a lack of meaningful connections. A host of factors contribute to this problem. It's more than social media.

My personal view is that this is a big part of it. Lack of time with friends, plus less independence/ risk-taking. There’s very interesting data about the steep drop off in risky teen behavior like drinking and sex over the past 20 years (a good thing) but these improvements are coupled with a steep rise in mental health issues. I’m not sure what’s causal or not. My personal view is the lack of connections as the PP said. Not sure how we as parents can support that though.

[Anonymous]

STOP SOCIAL MEDIA/PHONE USE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts young. Child is struggling a little in school...rush to get a diagnosis and meds. Child is struggling emotionally...rush to the shrink and meds. Parents are always trying to fix things instead of being patient and teaching coping mechanisms.

You don’t think therapists teach coping mechanisms?

I didn't say that therapists don't teach coping mechanisms. I said that parents rush to therapists/psychiatrists instead of trying to teach their kids coping mechanisms themselves. So many parents want a quick fix for their kids problems instead of realizing that kids may just be going through a phase or are maturing at a different rate than peers. These kids go from ADHD drugs to SSRIs to anti-anxiety meds...all by the time their 15 years old. I'm not saying that their aren't some kids for whom these medications are essential. But anyone who thinks there's not a ton of overdiagnosing going on these days is kidding themselves.

Well said.

And yet, every time a kid fails at school or struggles at an activity, there is a chorus of voices, including non-parents like teachers or coaches, blaming parents for their kids' struggles. You can't be both hands-off in promoting resilience and solely responsible for your kids' struggles. It's time that we examine the role that all adults, not just parents, play in perpetuating this cycle.

Resilience has nothing to do with anxiety and depression and maybe that is the problem. Parents are ultimately responsible for their child's needs and that includes mental health. If your child is having a mental health issue, you take them for an evaluation and therapy and do family therapy as well. Then, you reach out to the school and do what ever is equal to an IEP/504 at your school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STOP SOCIAL MEDIA/PHONE USE!

People had mental issues before phones and social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think parental style or social factors alone are the cause. I suspect it’s something else, though I don’t know what. Because depression among teens is so endemic and crisis level and cuts across so many places, SES levels, and has become so bad so suddenly, I don’t think we can attribute it just to affluence or pressure, though those are tempting targets.

I agree

It's partially due to a lack of meaningful connections. A host of factors contribute to this problem. It's more than social media.

My personal view is that this is a big part of it. Lack of time with friends, plus less independence/ risk-taking. There’s very interesting data about the steep drop off in risky teen behavior like drinking and sex over the past 20 years (a good thing) but these improvements are coupled with a steep rise in mental health issues. I’m not sure what’s causal or not. My personal view is the lack of connections as the PP said. Not sure how we as parents can support that though.

If you look at statistics there hasn't been a rise, just more of an awareness with social media and instant communication. Your post makes zero sense as if kids aren't getting time with friends how are they engaging in risky behavior and sex.

[Anonymous]

This is all to do with helicopter parenting. Parents pushing the kids in order to make the parents look and feel better, mowing the lawn in front of them, and hovering incessantly. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts young. Child is struggling a little in school...rush to get a diagnosis and meds. Child is struggling emotionally...rush to the shrink and meds. Parents are always trying to fix things instead of being patient and teaching coping mechanisms.

You don’t think therapists teach coping mechanisms?

I didn't say that therapists don't teach coping mechanisms. I said that parents rush to therapists/psychiatrists instead of trying to teach their kids coping mechanisms themselves. So many parents want a quick fix for their kids problems instead of realizing that kids may just be going through a phase or are maturing at a different rate than peers. These kids go from ADHD drugs to SSRIs to anti-anxiety meds...all by the time their 15 years old. I'm not saying that their aren't some kids for whom these medications are essential. But anyone who thinks there's not a ton of overdiagnosing going on these days is kidding themselves.

I agree with this. But I don’t think it’s the parents fault alone. Developing coping mechanisms is a slow process and requires more patience and attention than teachers and parents can provide. And many of the coping mechanisms would include the entire family changing behavior to be effective. Again, that’s a laborious, emotional process that is likely more successful in the long run, but hard to argue against the immediate effects that drugs have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts young. Child is struggling a little in school...rush to get a diagnosis and meds. Child is struggling emotionally...rush to the shrink and meds. Parents are always trying to fix things instead of being patient and teaching coping mechanisms.

You don’t think therapists teach coping mechanisms?

I didn't say that therapists don't teach coping mechanisms. I said that parents rush to therapists/psychiatrists instead of trying to teach their kids coping mechanisms themselves. So many parents want a quick fix for their kids problems instead of realizing that kids may just be going through a phase or are maturing at a different rate than peers. These kids go from ADHD drugs to SSRIs to anti-anxiety meds...all by the time their 15 years old. I'm not saying that their aren't some kids for whom these medications are essential. But anyone who thinks there's not a ton of overdiagnosing going on these days is kidding themselves.

Well said.

And yet, every time a kid fails at school or struggles at an activity, there is a chorus of voices, including non-parents like teachers or coaches, blaming parents for their kids' struggles. You can't be both hands-off in promoting resilience and solely responsible for your kids' struggles. It's time that we examine the role that all adults, not just parents, play in perpetuating this cycle.

Resilience has nothing to do with anxiety and depression and maybe that is the problem. Parents are ultimately responsible for their child's needs and that includes mental health. If your child is having a mental health issue, you take them for an evaluation and therapy and do family therapy as well. Then, you reach out to the school and do what ever is equal to an IEP/504 at your school.

I think most parents do this, but the reality is that the process is not at all as simplistic as you lay it out to be. Nor is it cheap. Couple on the inter generational nature of mental illness and the likelihood that HHI parents are also managing careers in order to pay for said therapies. It’s massive burden.

Something’s gotta give, and that’s what we are seeing.