Would it be rude to send her home after an hour vs. taking to pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

So invite the mom too. You don't sound like a good neighbor.

The other mom was rude. She could have texted before her kid showed up.

back in the day, kids rode bikes for hours, stopp9ng by various lids houses. sometimes the kids will come out to play and sometimes they couldnt. not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

So invite the mom too. You don't sound like a good neighbor.

The other mom was rude. She could have texted before her kid showed up.

back in the day, kids rode bikes for hours, stopp9ng by various lids houses. sometimes the kids will come out to play and sometimes they couldnt. not a big deal.

It’s pretty bold of someone to send their kid over to someone else’s house at *noon* when the kid has not had lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have texted the mom and been honest "Sorry, we have plans this afternoon and are getting ready to leave. I am sending Ella home."

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

So invite the mom too. You don't sound like a good neighbor.

The other mom was rude. She could have texted before her kid showed up.

back in the day, kids rode bikes for hours, stopp9ng by various lids houses. sometimes the kids will come out to play and sometimes they couldnt. not a big deal.

+1. You knocked on the door. The parent opened it. You said can Jane come out in play. The parent said sorry, she can't right now. You said ok and went on your way.

[Anonymous]

Are your social skills really so lacking that you don't know how to say "I'm sorry you came all this way, Maggie, but we are getting ready to leave the house. I'll text your mom and let her know you are on your way back home."

Some of you are so pathetic that you have to crowdsource something like this. Some really stupid women on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feed the child, since you already asked the mom and then tell her you have to go.
Next time, if you don't want her there for lunch, just tell her she can't stay, because you will be heading out shortly.

+1..the end. And OP said the child lives a good distance away and not in her neighborhood, so this wasn’t a neighborhood knock on the door from across the street.

If the kid got there, the kid can get home.

[Anonymous]

If the mom didn’t call, just confirm with the kid that the mom knows where she is and then say “okay we have to get ready for lunch now, it’s time for you to go home. Ask your mom to call me and we can find a time to play longer.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your social skills really so lacking that you don't know how to say "I'm sorry you came all this way, Maggie, but we are getting ready to leave the house. I'll text your mom and let her know you are on your way back home."

Some of you are so pathetic that you have to crowdsource something like this. Some really stupid women on here.

Yet here you are ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feed and return child.

And what's with the stretchy suit nonsense? My daughter can't use the next size down and the next size up. They're not that stretchy! Ridiculous.

I’m baffled by these people with apparent rigid form fitting children’s bathing suits- where are you even buying them? My 5 year old is still obsessed with a 2T bathing suit that she’s had for years and will periodically insist on squeezing into it. It sounds like in this case the would be borrower is the smaller one, so worst case it would just be baggy. Having grown up in California with regular impromptu pool dates we regularly made do with borrowing bathing suits several sizes too big or too small….it’s not a fashion show.

That being said I think it’s perfectly reasonable for the op to not want to take/pay for the friend…a poorly fitted bathing suit just seems a unnecessary additional excuse.

OP is asking for advice as to whether it would be rude not to take the kid to the pool—meaning she doesn’t want to be rude! In what universe would you think it is OK to put a girl who isn’t your kid (around 9 by the ages OP later says her kids are) in a suit that’s way too big for her, meaning straps are falling down and the butt/crotch area can move aside and expose things that shouldn’t be exposed at the pool? I wouldn’t want my daughter’s 9yo body exposed at the pool, would you? I wouldn’t want to be responsible for another kid’s body to be exposed at the pool, would you?

I’m personally not at all concerned about a strap occasionally falling down for my 7-9 year old girls because they are wearing a slightly too big swimsuit…. But realistically this is only going to pose an issue for a spaghetti strap style suit. I have also never seen too much fabric in the crotch area resulting in unwanted exposure and am having trouble envisioning this even being a potential issue unless the suit is at least 4-5 sizes too big. For the majority of children’s one piece swimsuits, a suit two or even three sizes too big is just going to be a bit baggy/less form fitting, which is hardly something to worry about. I would of course always ask the other parent before taking their child swimming/lending a suit and would assume they were aware of the possible size discrepancy.

Interesting though that in Europe it’s normal for girls up to ~10 to go topless in public pools, but in the dc area the idea of an 8 year old in a slightly ill fitting suit is scandalous.

I have seen it at our pool in a few different times and it’s awkward. And I can’t believe you are just now learning that culture exists.

[Anonymous]

Send her home as soon as she arrives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your social skills really so lacking that you don't know how to say "I'm sorry you came all this way, Maggie, but we are getting ready to leave the house. I'll text your mom and let her know you are on your way back home."

Some of you are so pathetic that you have to crowdsource something like this. Some really stupid women on here.

+1

Also stupid that they somehow think they have to watch a kid that is clearly old enough (and capable) to ride a bike a distance to someone else's house. Obviously not a 5 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

So invite the mom too. You don't sound like a good neighbor.

The other mom was rude. She could have texted before her kid showed up.

back in the day, kids rode bikes for hours, stopp9ng by various lids houses. sometimes the kids will come out to play and sometimes they couldnt. not a big deal.

It’s pretty bold of someone to send their kid over to someone else’s house at *noon* when the kid has not had lunch.

In the summer? People eat lunch later in the summer. No big deal. Feed the kid or send her away. OP sounds like a PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell a random kid who shows up that your kid is unable to play because you are eating now and then leaving. This is a non issue.

This. Instead of texting the mom asking if the girl had eaten lunch, I would have texted her that Larla was on her way home because you were getting ready to head to the pool.

I don't know why you have to text the mom at all. The kid showed up unannounced (which in my view is perfectly fine-- personally I prefer that to having parents text me about playdates). You can say, "Sorry, we have plans, maybe next time!" Kid goes home. If the kid's parent is fine with her riding over there on her own, presumably she's fine with her riding back. I don't see what the big deal is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

So invite the mom too. You don't sound like a good neighbor.

The other mom was rude. She could have texted before her kid showed up.

back in the day, kids rode bikes for hours, stopp9ng by various lids houses. sometimes the kids will come out to play and sometimes they couldnt. not a big deal.

It’s pretty bold of someone to send their kid over to someone else’s house at *noon* when the kid has not had lunch.

In the summer? People eat lunch later in the summer. No big deal. Feed the kid or send her away. OP sounds like a PITA.

And you sound like one of Those Parents that foist your kid off at every possible moment without checking with anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have texted the mom and been honest "Sorry, we have plans this afternoon and are getting ready to leave. I am sending Ella home."

This is obviously the answer. Now you know how to respond. Don’t be judged though. Nothing wrong w a kid stopping by to play. My kids do it and so do their friends. Learn to say not a good time or sure come on in. This is not hard.