Have you ever fired fake friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m friendly with my neighbors. It costs nothing. We do each other small favors—I’m talking grabbing packages off the porch. I’m glad we are friendly and have no expectations of deep friendship. Super glad to have neighbors.

Read much? She's talking about "neighborhood friends," not neighbors. Sounds like she means the kids' friends' parents. Yea, they're not real friends. Just friends of convenience. Dump 'em.

Yes, they’re neighborhood friends not just neighbors. Friends of convenience—that’s it! Yes I am ready to let them go. I have done a lot of fakey fake dinners and gabbing over the years.

Describe a “fakey fake” dinner. Like, if someone invited you to dinner, that’s a nice thing to do. You might not fall into a deep best friendship, but that was a kind gesture.

I think a fakey fake dinner is something where it’s not set up with good intentions. It’s set up for other reasons, like to pay homage to the Queen Bee, to drink too much and gossip about acquaintances, or maybe to have something to photograph for Facebook to advertise the hive.

Some of you posters really act like life is an episode of “Depserate Housewives.” Did you really just type “pay homage to the Queen Bee”? What are you talking about? If someone invites you out to dinner, it’s a nice gesture. My goodness. And if you’ve even gossiped one time (you have, don’t lie) don’t be a massive hypocrite and clutch your pearls if other people gossip. Life is not a Danielle Steele novel, and you really need to get a grip and grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

This.

Right. Fake friends are not friends. The term should not be read literally. We all know what OP means

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about doing a serious culling of so called neighborhood friends. I’ve found it mentally draining for years to be friendly with them and now that our kids are going to college, I’m wondering if I can just call time. I mean can I just stop fake smiling when we pass and stop responding to them when they need something, which is basically the only time they text or call. I feel like I’d respect myself more if I just behaved like I felt toward them.

You sound very immature. There is no way you have kids going to college. Just smile. It doesn't hurt you and might make you into a better person. It sounds like that would be a step in the right direction for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m friendly with my neighbors. It costs nothing. We do each other small favors—I’m talking grabbing packages off the porch. I’m glad we are friendly and have no expectations of deep friendship. Super glad to have neighbors.

Read much? She's talking about "neighborhood friends," not neighbors. Sounds like she means the kids' friends' parents. Yea, they're not real friends. Just friends of convenience. Dump 'em.

Yes, they’re neighborhood friends not just neighbors. Friends of convenience—that’s it! Yes I am ready to let them go. I have done a lot of fakey fake dinners and gabbing over the years.

Describe a “fakey fake” dinner. Like, if someone invited you to dinner, that’s a nice thing to do. You might not fall into a deep best friendship, but that was a kind gesture.

I think a fakey fake dinner is something where it’s not set up with good intentions. It’s set up for other reasons, like to pay homage to the Queen Bee, to drink too much and gossip about acquaintances, or maybe to have something to photograph for Facebook to advertise the hive.

Some of you posters really act like life is an episode of “Depserate Housewives.” Did you really just type “pay homage to the Queen Bee”? What are you talking about? If someone invites you out to dinner, it’s a nice gesture. My goodness. And if you’ve even gossiped one time (you have, don’t lie) don’t be a massive hypocrite and clutch your pearls if other people gossip. Life is not a Danielle Steele novel, and you really need to get a grip and grow up.

+1 Read this article that was discussed yesterday in WaPo. It is classic. A friend sent me the link and it is such an accurate description of Millennials and the attitudes of people like OP. "Fake friends," indeed.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/07/08/millennials-dumbest-generation/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m friendly with my neighbors. It costs nothing. We do each other small favors—I’m talking grabbing packages off the porch. I’m glad we are friendly and have no expectations of deep friendship. Super glad to have neighbors.

Read much? She's talking about "neighborhood friends," not neighbors. Sounds like she means the kids' friends' parents. Yea, they're not real friends. Just friends of convenience. Dump 'em.

Yes, they’re neighborhood friends not just neighbors. Friends of convenience—that’s it! Yes I am ready to let them go. I have done a lot of fakey fake dinners and gabbing over the years.

Describe a “fakey fake” dinner. Like, if someone invited you to dinner, that’s a nice thing to do. You might not fall into a deep best friendship, but that was a kind gesture.

I think a fakey fake dinner is something where it’s not set up with good intentions. It’s set up for other reasons, like to pay homage to the Queen Bee, to drink too much and gossip about acquaintances, or maybe to have something to photograph for Facebook to advertise the hive.

Some of you posters really act like life is an episode of “Depserate Housewives.” Did you really just type “pay homage to the Queen Bee”? What are you talking about? If someone invites you out to dinner, it’s a nice gesture. My goodness. And if you’ve even gossiped one time (you have, don’t lie) don’t be a massive hypocrite and clutch your pearls if other people gossip. Life is not a Danielle Steele novel, and you really need to get a grip and grow up.

Yeah, if you don't like these people because they are mean or whatever, fine, but having dinner with someone who isn't your best friend doesn't make it fake. I've had meals with acquaintances that were perfectly pleasant and enjoyable. I don't see the point is not being friendly to people when you see them, even if you stop issuing invitations and don't go out of your way to do them favors. So dramatic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about doing a serious culling of so called neighborhood friends. I’ve found it mentally draining for years to be friendly with them and now that our kids are going to college, I’m wondering if I can just call time. I mean can I just stop fake smiling when we pass and stop responding to them when they need something, which is basically the only time they text or call. I feel like I’d respect myself more if I just behaved like I felt toward them.

It's mentally draining to smile at people when you pass them? Really? So you need to "fire" them, like they work for you?

[Anonymous]

Once I retired, most of my work friends just acted like I'd died. It was as if I'd betrayed a nation even though any one of them would gladly quit in a heart beat.

At one lunch (I'd arranged after 1 1/2 year of asking) with my closest friend there, she was talking about new employees that had been hired, and mentioned one in particular, saying " She's my new you."

She had become a very close friend to me, so I thought, as she went through serious work issues, marriage and children problems. I included her in my family celebrations. We talked about everything, and our parents had died during this time and we were there together for each other. Work was very stressful and we supported each other.

That's when I realized some friends are just trauma bonds, or people who use others as support. It wasn't really friendship. I do have life long friends, and other friends, but I'm now more wary of people going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

Not true. I had a neighbor who I became very close to. Our kids played together. The whole time we were neighbors she started sleeping with my husband. They hooked up for 4;years straight before I found out by accident.

I forgave them for the sake of our children and friend group, but I always think they are still sleeping with one another since they work at the same office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

Not true. I had a neighbor who I became very close to. Our kids played together. The whole time we were neighbors she started sleeping with my husband. They hooked up for 4;years straight before I found out by accident.

I forgave them for the sake of our children and friend group, but I always think they are still sleeping with one another since they work at the same office.

LOL you did not forgive them for the sake of the friend group, this is either a troll or a lie. Friend groups detonate over such things all the time, as they should, because the friend group likely either knew or enabled in some way. You can never go back. Ask me how i know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

Not true. I had a neighbor who I became very close to. Our kids played together. The whole time we were neighbors she started sleeping with my husband. They hooked up for 4;years straight before I found out by accident.

I forgave them for the sake of our children and friend group, but I always think they are still sleeping with one another since they work at the same office.

LOL you did not forgive them for the sake of the friend group, this is either a troll or a lie. Friend groups detonate over such things all the time, as they should, because the friend group likely either knew or enabled in some way. You can never go back. Ask me how i know

Well it is true. The queen bee is the one who befriended me and seduced my DH. I forgave them bc my kids would have been ostracized and I would have lost all my friends since they are afraid of the queen bee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

Not true. I had a neighbor who I became very close to. Our kids played together. The whole time we were neighbors she started sleeping with my husband. They hooked up for 4;years straight before I found out by accident.

I forgave them for the sake of our children and friend group, but I always think they are still sleeping with one another since they work at the same office.

Dude, that's not a fake friend, that is a not-true-friend who betrayed you. Just like a husband who betrayed you: he's not your "fake husband," he's your husband who betrayed you. And true friends don't do what she did to you, so there's that. She's not "fake." She's not a real friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

Not true. I had a neighbor who I became very close to. Our kids played together. The whole time we were neighbors she started sleeping with my husband. They hooked up for 4;years straight before I found out by accident.

I forgave them for the sake of our children and friend group, but I always think they are still sleeping with one another since they work at the same office.

Dude, that's not a fake friend, that is a not-true-friend who betrayed you. Just like a husband who betrayed you: he's not your "fake husband," he's your husband who betrayed you. And true friends don't do what she did to you, so there's that. She's not "fake." She's not a real friend.

Well she has made herself out to be a friend to our friend group. I had told them all about how I didn't feel like being intimate with my DH bc of body issues (my DH is super fit) and she and the others said it was ok. So to give my DH an outlet so that he wouldn't leave me, she slept with him. It sort of made sense so I forgave them, and the others agreed with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

For the love of god. I think we live in the same neighborhood. I think these women are mentally ill.

Honestly, why do you care? I moved into our neighborhood 10 years ago and am friendly with a lot of people in the neighborhood, but not deep friends. But a lot of them who have lived here longer and have kids in the same grade are genuinely very close, and when they post about their dinners or vacations together, I either give it a Like or just scroll on by. What’s it to me if I’m not in their inner circle of friendship? They are unfailingly nice and polite to me, and I have other friends I’m closer to. Why would their genuine friendship hurt me in any way? It’s nothing to do with me! Not everything is to do with me.

Ah, there’s three rub. Fake friends are not always unfailingly nice and polite.

Well, then they’re not friends, now are they? See how that works? There’s no such thing as a “fake friend.” Either someone is a friend, or they are an acquaintance, or someone you don’t connect with.

Not true. I had a neighbor who I became very close to. Our kids played together. The whole time we were neighbors she started sleeping with my husband. They hooked up for 4;years straight before I found out by accident.

I forgave them for the sake of our children and friend group, but I always think they are still sleeping with one another since they work at the same office.

Dude, that's not a fake friend, that is a not-true-friend who betrayed you. Just like a husband who betrayed you: he's not your "fake husband," he's your husband who betrayed you. And true friends don't do what she did to you, so there's that. She's not "fake." She's not a real friend.

Well she has made herself out to be a friend to our friend group. I had told them all about how I didn't feel like being intimate with my DH bc of body issues (my DH is super fit) and she and the others said it was ok. So to give my DH an outlet so that he wouldn't leave me, she slept with him. It sort of made sense so I forgave them, and the others agreed with her.

Again, you are not describing friends.