Have you ever fired fake friends?

[Anonymous]

Thinking about doing a serious culling of so called neighborhood friends. I’ve found it mentally draining for years to be friendly with them and now that our kids are going to college, I’m wondering if I can just call time. I mean can I just stop fake smiling when we pass and stop responding to them when they need something, which is basically the only time they text or call. I feel like I’d respect myself more if I just behaved like I felt toward them.

[Anonymous]

are you saying it’s a one sided relationship?

I keep distance from our neighbors, I have my life and don’t have room for them in it.

[Anonymous]

I mean, would it take so much effort to smoke and say hello, but say no when they ask for favors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:are you saying it’s a one sided relationship?

I keep distance from our neighbors, I have my life and don’t have room for them in it.

+1

Neighbors, coworkers and actual friends are all separate, IRL OP - how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Once I realize a friend is fake, I stop investing. I'd probably still smile if I saw them on the street (it's just easier) but that's it. I definitely wouldn't be doing them favors or inconveniencing myself in any way.

[Anonymous]

You have my permission, OP.

Do your own thing. Don’t respond to their texts. Don’t go to any social gatherings. You can remain polite and cordial and I’ll just bet they won’t really notice or ask if things are alright, etc.

[Anonymous]

I’m friendly with my neighbors. It costs nothing. We do each other small favors—I’m talking grabbing packages off the porch. I’m glad we are friendly and have no expectations of deep friendship. Super glad to have neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m friendly with my neighbors. It costs nothing. We do each other small favors—I’m talking grabbing packages off the porch. I’m glad we are friendly and have no expectations of deep friendship. Super glad to have neighbors.

Read much? She's talking about "neighborhood friends," not neighbors. Sounds like she means the kids' friends' parents. Yea, they're not real friends. Just friends of convenience. Dump 'em.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm not that sort, but as soon as the pandemic started, half my friends just dropped off the face of the earth. Apparently I wasn't in their close circle like they were in mine...

[Anonymous]

PP and I have posted about this experience before, but I got entangled in a neighborhood group-a clique,- and had to get out to preserve my sanity and mental health.

I simply couldn’t rally around one of the members who had a history of marital problems and ongoing, self-inflicted drama and one crisis after another. Every gathering turned into a therapy session with offers of help and each woman trying to out-do the other in an attempt to “deepen” the friendship with the Queen Bee. Disgusting.

In the midst of it all, I was managing eldercare issues for a parent-a convenient excuse to stop meeting up with these women. Find your exit and walk away.

[Anonymous]

I'd remain friendly but not do any special favors if you don't feel like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m friendly with my neighbors. It costs nothing. We do each other small favors—I’m talking grabbing packages off the porch. I’m glad we are friendly and have no expectations of deep friendship. Super glad to have neighbors.

Read much? She's talking about "neighborhood friends," not neighbors. Sounds like she means the kids' friends' parents. Yea, they're not real friends. Just friends of convenience. Dump 'em.

Yes, they’re neighborhood friends not just neighbors. Friends of convenience—that’s it! Yes I am ready to let them go. I have done a lot of fakey fake dinners and gabbing over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP and I have posted about this experience before, but I got entangled in a neighborhood group-a clique,- and had to get out to preserve my sanity and mental health.

I simply couldn’t rally around one of the members who had a history of marital problems and ongoing, self-inflicted drama and one crisis after another. Every gathering turned into a therapy session with offers of help and each woman trying to out-do the other in an attempt to “deepen” the friendship with the Queen Bee. Disgusting.

In the midst of it all, I was managing eldercare issues for a parent-a convenient excuse to stop meeting up with these women. Find your exit and walk away.

Good god you’re a saint. I’d probably just up and leave in the middle of the gathering.

[Anonymous]

PP and also I caution you, OP to ignore or unfollow these so called friends on social media.

When I mention that the women tried to compete and vie for attention from the Queen Bee, it was all over Facebook or Instagram or the QB’s blog! Insidious. Pics posted with captions like, “dinner with my favorite people” or “cheers to BFFs” or “she’s my rock” or “Girls Weekend - thanks to Larla for letting us stay in your fab beach house!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m friendly with my neighbors. It costs nothing. We do each other small favors—I’m talking grabbing packages off the porch. I’m glad we are friendly and have no expectations of deep friendship. Super glad to have neighbors.

Read much? She's talking about "neighborhood friends," not neighbors. Sounds like she means the kids' friends' parents. Yea, they're not real friends. Just friends of convenience. Dump 'em.

Yes, they’re neighborhood friends not just neighbors. Friends of convenience—that’s it! Yes I am ready to let them go. I have done a lot of fakey fake dinners and gabbing over the years.

I’m apparently a very patient person! I couldn’t believe the turn of events. Started with a small group of neighbor ladies - and had always been super low key and casual and drama-free. Then Queen Bee moved in and began a hostile takeover. I naively felt sorry for Queen Bee post-crisis one and swooped in to assist
and be a decent human. Never again.

But, I reconnected with a group of childhood, lifelong friends-we aren’t geographically close, but we love and respect each other unconditionally. These are my true friends and that’s my wish for you, OP: find your true friends.