Staying in "mom job" vs pursuing goals

[Anonymous]

I just faced the same decision almost exactly (with one kid in ES), and chose the new job. My decision-making was basically centered around a pension. Having lifetime income felt like the long game, and worth giving up a little flexibility.

[Anonymous]

OP, at 100k it's an excellent job (at least from my lower middle class vantage point). My colleague with a "mom job" during school hours makes 22k.

I would keep job #1 for the schedule consistency, unless, like the PP, it offers better long-term perks like retirement.

[Anonymous]

I am going through the same thing right now but the new job would pay a bit more than my current job. But my current job also pays $100,000 and I have 3 kids and need flexibility (DH has a very demanding inflexible job). I am on the fence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I am in my mid-30s and like my “mom job” making $200k. Sometimes I wish I could be more aggressive in my career like others I know. But ultimately I value the flexibility too much. I like having time with the kids, to manage our finances and rental property, plan nice weekend outings and get-togethers with friends.

What field are you in ?

Pretty sure this person is a troll. Not because it's impossible to have a flexible job that pays that much, but because she brought up salary, rental property, and finances that need to be managed. She's pushing your buttons.

Not the PP, but this isn’t necessarily a troll. My $200k mom job is in tech. I’m 40 (15+ year career) and I live in a HCOL area.

Did you read what you're responding to? The PP said it wasn't impossible, just that the post was designed to stir the pot.

NP here. I also work in tech and this is incredibly common, so I don't think that post was designed to "stir the pot" at all. I work with thousands of people that make $400k+ and are all working remotely and have super flexible schedules. This is the new way of working, and it's here to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I am in my mid-30s and like my “mom job” making $200k. Sometimes I wish I could be more aggressive in my career like others I know. But ultimately I value the flexibility too much. I like having time with the kids, to manage our finances and rental property, plan nice weekend outings and get-togethers with friends.

What field are you in ?

DP. Mid-30s, make about $215k. I’m an in house lawyer.

It’s really all relative. I went to a top 3 law school, so many of my classmates (and peers from the business school) have really high flying careers. This is why people say comparison is the thief of joy. I’m acutely aware of what my career could have been and that’s hard.

DP. I also went to HYS for law and also happen to be in-house (at a large pre-IPO tech company, make about 300K in early 40s). This poster hit the nail on the head for me - I see my classmates killing it out there, at the top of their fields, some of them making $$$ in leadership roles, others in politics, others who are judges or law professors, and I feel like I have really fallen short. It's hard to not wonder what I could have been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I am in my mid-30s and like my “mom job” making $200k. Sometimes I wish I could be more aggressive in my career like others I know. But ultimately I value the flexibility too much. I like having time with the kids, to manage our finances and rental property, plan nice weekend outings and get-togethers with friends.

What field are you in ?

DP. Mid-30s, make about $215k. I’m an in house lawyer.

It’s really all relative. I went to a top 3 law school, so many of my classmates (and peers from the business school) have really high flying careers. This is why people say comparison is the thief of joy. I’m acutely aware of what my career could have been and that’s hard.

DP. I also went to HYS for law and also happen to be in-house (at a large pre-IPO tech company, make about 300K in early 40s). This poster hit the nail on the head for me - I see my classmates killing it out there, at the top of their fields, some of them making $$$ in leadership roles, others in politics, others who are judges or law professors, and I feel like I have really fallen short. It's hard to not wonder what I could have been.

Come hang out with some of us T20 PhDs. We'll make you feel pretty successful with our $75k/year jobs, always begging for funding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I am in my mid-30s and like my “mom job” making $200k. Sometimes I wish I could be more aggressive in my career like others I know. But ultimately I value the flexibility too much. I like having time with the kids, to manage our finances and rental property, plan nice weekend outings and get-togethers with friends.

What field are you in ?

Pretty sure this person is a troll. Not because it's impossible to have a flexible job that pays that much, but because she brought up salary, rental property, and finances that need to be managed. She's pushing your buttons.

Not the PP, but this isn’t necessarily a troll. My $200k mom job is in tech. I’m 40 (15+ year career) and I live in a HCOL area.

Did you read what you're responding to? The PP said it wasn't impossible, just that the post was designed to stir the pot.

NP here. I also work in tech and this is incredibly common, so I don't think that post was designed to "stir the pot" at all. I work with thousands of people that make $400k+ and are all working remotely and have super flexible schedules. This is the new way of working, and it's here to stay.

Yes, I can see working remotely, and flexible schedules, but at the same time, those people are not just punching in 40 hour work weeks. They basically are working every waking hour that isn't the core 5-8 dinner/bedtime routine, and likely some on weekend mornings/evenings outside of family time.

It's not ike OP who does her 9-5, the mic drops her phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but I am in my mid-30s and like my “mom job” making $200k. Sometimes I wish I could be more aggressive in my career like others I know. But ultimately I value the flexibility too much. I like having time with the kids, to manage our finances and rental property, plan nice weekend outings and get-togethers with friends.

What field are you in ?

DP. Mid-30s, make about $215k. I’m an in house lawyer.

It’s really all relative. I went to a top 3 law school, so many of my classmates (and peers from the business school) have really high flying careers. This is why people say comparison is the thief of joy. I’m acutely aware of what my career could have been and that’s hard.

DP. I also went to HYS for law and also happen to be in-house (at a large pre-IPO tech company, make about 300K in early 40s). This poster hit the nail on the head for me - I see my classmates killing it out there, at the top of their fields, some of them making $$$ in leadership roles, others in politics, others who are judges or law professors, and I feel like I have really fallen short. It's hard to not wonder what I could have been.

Come hang out with some of us T20 PhDs. We'll make you feel pretty successful with our $75k/year jobs, always begging for funding.

OP here, I'm one of you! My lawyer friends totally make me feel inadequate.

[Anonymous]

I have an interview tomorrow for a 500k job. But at that level I need to be in NY three days a week. Travel to other sites and deal with people also in U.K. and India for off hour meetings to be in their time zone. Plus have staff to baby sit and find in internal meetings and politics.

It would be huge huge raise but to be honest not overly excited as i WFH now full time

[Anonymous]

All I'm learning from this thread is that women in tech and law make obscene amounts of money and have low-stress jobs. Not interested in law school, but how do I get these high paying tech jobs? Give me more details on your career path!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an interview tomorrow for a 500k job. But at that level I need to be in NY three days a week. Travel to other sites and deal with people also in U.K. and India for off hour meetings to be in their time zone. Plus have staff to baby sit and find in internal meetings and politics.

It would be huge huge raise but to be honest not overly excited as i WFH now full time

The fact you have this option means you probably don’t have a mom job now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I'm learning from this thread is that women in tech and law make obscene amounts of money and have low-stress jobs. Not interested in law school, but how do I get these high paying tech jobs? Give me more details on your career path!

Right?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I'm learning from this thread is that women in tech and law make obscene amounts of money and have low-stress jobs. Not interested in law school, but how do I get these high paying tech jobs? Give me more details on your career path!

Right?!

Seriously. I never leaned out, worked long hours, and don’t make anything like these PP with “mom jobs”. I went to good schools, studied hard serious majors, but clearly made awful career choices for success and my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I'm learning from this thread is that women in tech and law make obscene amounts of money and have low-stress jobs. Not interested in law school, but how do I get these high paying tech jobs? Give me more details on your career path!

Lawyers make a lot, but these women with low-stress jobs are talking about specific roles like in-house counsel (which are still prestigious IMO but they are NOT the "Big Law" firm jobs which can be 80-100 hours a week). Many of them had to get one of those stressful law firm jobs right out of law school to make their name. And lots of lawyers have school debt. I have thought about going to law school and would be an excellent lawyer (my job is lawyer-adjacent) but the debt and the prospect of extremely stressful employment just to eventually make it to a cushy in-house job is not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Are there other job prospects you’d be more excited about. I slowly went from mom job to all-in job between when my youngest was 3 and 10. Glad I made the transition back - my current job is both much more rewarding and well paying - but I really enjoyed the flexibility when they were younger. It’s hard to get that back. Is this offer a once-in-five years opportunity or is it likely you’ll find something comparable down the road? If the later, I’d wait.