NT Child and ADHD Child Don’t Get Along

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every parenting class for neurodiverse families stipulate to Pick Your Battles.
Hitting a sibling is usually one of them. So is tons of sibling bullying.

If it happens, the caretaker stops, walks over to the original offender (by now there may be a squabble so simply sending everyone to their rooms empowers the original offender)c gets low and looks them in the eye, tells them we Do Not Hit Others. not at school, not at the playground, not st home.

Then the offender gets a consequence, that affects them. Less screen time for the week, no dessert on Fridays, goes to room no TV.

NP here, in a somewhat similar situation as OP and other posters. One variation on this scenario, that sometimes happens in our house is that the younger NT sibling does lightly hits the older ADHD sibling. Then the older sibling takes it up a notch (or 10) by smacking the younger sibling. What is recommended then? To be honest I’m not sure our responses have always been consistent (working on that), but most recently we did admonish the older adhd child more because they escalated and then some.

Also, OP, good luck to you and sorry to see you’ve gotten so many judgmental posts. I’m used to seeing better on this board.

I bet at lot of the people posting on this thread do not have kids with SN. Probably came from hot topics.

No, we do have kids with SN. But it's not an excuse. It means they need to work harder, it doesn't mean we feel sympathy for them or give them pass.

Good lord. Get a clue. There are varying degrees of special needs. My son has ID and behavior modification is beyond hard. Based on your judgmental, exacting advice, I should’ve sent him away by now. The thing is, he exists, he’s disabled, his disabilities cause severe social issues he can’t be disciplined or therapized out and we try and we don’t accept and se acknowledge it’s hard and give separate time in spades.

Did I say my kids are easy? I don't blame sibling for not accepting, not tolerating, or sometimes not even liking his brother though.

Oh, absolutely. But refusing to cut any slack, being mean, and creating more issues because of a refusal to extend any flexibility or empathy, I find tiring.

[Anonymous]

we have one NT older child and one ADHD younger child. we can't go 5 min in the car without them fighting. we've given in to electronics bc that's the only way they can co-exist. it was AWFUL during covid, has gotten better since school was back to normal, now is AWFUL again this summer. you literally have to PLAN OUT YOUR DAY, where they will be located in the house, what activities they have, where they will eat (separately). truly, it's not worth having mine together. i just get through each day keeping them apart. only time they get along is when DH and I are fighting, then they band together and go do something quiet to leave us alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we have one NT older child and one ADHD younger child. we can't go 5 min in the car without them fighting. we've given in to electronics bc that's the only way they can co-exist. it was AWFUL during covid, has gotten better since school was back to normal, now is AWFUL again this summer. you literally have to PLAN OUT YOUR DAY, where they will be located in the house, what activities they have, where they will eat (separately). truly, it's not worth having mine together. i just get through each day keeping them apart. only time they get along is when DH and I are fighting, then they band together and go do something quiet to leave us alone.

That sounds so hard. How old are they? Maybe it will get better

[Anonymous]

I have an ADHD/anxiety child and a NT child and they cannot be in a room together. I don’t blame my NT child for not wanting to be around someone who is constantly provoking and hurling insults at them.
We plans camps and activities so they don’t spend time together at home and allow more screen time than we normally would to keep everyone in their room when they are home together.
We’ve tried therapy for the siblings, but it wasn’t helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we have one NT older child and one ADHD younger child. we can't go 5 min in the car without them fighting. we've given in to electronics bc that's the only way they can co-exist. it was AWFUL during covid, has gotten better since school was back to normal, now is AWFUL again this summer. you literally have to PLAN OUT YOUR DAY, where they will be located in the house, what activities they have, where they will eat (separately). truly, it's not worth having mine together. i just get through each day keeping them apart. only time they get along is when DH and I are fighting, then they band together and go do something quiet to leave us alone.

That sounds so hard. How old are they? Maybe it will get better

They are 11 (NT) and 8 (adhd). Therapy would never help our situation and would cause more problems than it would solve because they would both keep going. I pray they grow into maturity adults who can stand being around each other, but if they don’t I’m also fine with that. My brother and I have nothing to do with each other and can’t stand more than an evening together and we are both NT.

[Anonymous]

Would both HATE going I meant (stupid autocorrect)