who pays for dinner, and how do you decide?

[Anonymous]

What a bunch of drama. If you and your sister are so cash strapped you have no business eating out. What are you guys, mid 40s or so? And you’re crying bc daddy didn’t pay for dinner?

I’ve been picking up the check for my parents and in laws since I got my first real job.

[Anonymous]

Take it as lesson learned for next year. But dad should not be paying.

Once my parents hit retirement age and I got past my phase of house-poor-ness, I started (trying) to pay. For a big event ( for ex, birthday party for a couple dozen people) my siblings and I decide in advance. Usually we just split it. But in my family we can all afford it and we hate arguing about stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, what? From what I understand, of the four kids, only 2 were in town for fathers day. The other two live on the west coast. So you and your sister took your dad out to dinner, and you both paid for 1.5 persons for dinner and are freaking out? Or maybe you each had a spouse and kid, so you each paid for your respective family plus one additional person (i.e. your sister paid for dad and you paid for mom)?

So paying for one additional person beyond your nuclear family is what you're each freaking out about?

Dad expected to be treated and OP family was not pleased at vegan only menu options especially considering the price points on the menu? Kind of rude for dad to book $$$ vegan if there's 1 vegan in the group. Each adult child treating dad has budget concerns. We have a general idea of our adult DC's finances.

If the goal was my adults DC's paying for my dinner for an event for me, I'd make a reservation that covered more menu options. If I made a reservation at an expensive vegan only restaurant, I have DC's-partners-spouses who certainly would have questioned my choice. Consider how often any get to eat at $$$ restaurants and their budgets. I'm perfectly happy footing the bill and have enjoyed eating out with them at places they couldn't afford on their own. OP dad booked a vegan only restaurant his 2 adult DC's really could not afford.

Vegan only can be expensive and none [my adult DC's, partners, live-ins, spouses, GF or BF] ever have suggested vegan only for even take-out above certain price points.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I know my dad is cheap (and financially very secure). She and I are a teacher and a nurse. We know we're paying, and we guide where we go so it's not a burden for either of us. But mostly, we communicate - where are we going who is paying today/tomorrow, who has to travel etc and we make it work. By communicating.