If you could be more attractive or more intelligent, but not both, which would you choose?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:More attractive. I am highly intelligent, but have lost much of my youthful good looks.

This. I was an 8. Now I’m a 4 at best. Seriously have not she’d well at all. Generally I’d choose intelligence over looks though. It’s just that I have plenty of the former and none of the latter.

But you can fix "ugly" with a huge makeover, maybe even plastic surgery. Harder to fix "stupid".

Agree, which is why I said I would generally choose intelligence over beauty. But I am very smart already. And also pretty ugly. A lot of it is weight and I bust my ass to lose 5-10 pounds and then gain it back. What I really need is willpower to eat less.

Yes, so it depends on how "smart" and successful you are.

If you have $$$, you can get plastic surgery, hire a personal trainer, etc.. If you are reasonably intelligent, but don't have a lot of $$, but if you were "smarter" you could make more.

If you are more attractive, that might mean you can find a rich man, but IMO, I'd rather make the money myself, and then buy myself a boy toy in my old age

Smarter doesn’t mean you can get more money! Some of the dumbest people have high salaries.

Sure, but generally, if you are very smart, you can make a lot of money. It's not the only way, but it's one way.

Unless you let smarts manifest by way of being a tech whiz I disagree. The people who get good jobs are well-connected, have good people skills, and are confident. An increase in intelligence has diminishing returns and at some point becomes a liability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More attractive. I am highly intelligent, but have lost much of my youthful good looks.

This. I was an 8. Now I’m a 4 at best. Seriously have not she’d well at all. Generally I’d choose intelligence over looks though. It’s just that I have plenty of the former and none of the latter.

But you can fix "ugly" with a huge makeover, maybe even plastic surgery. Harder to fix "stupid".

Agree, which is why I said I would generally choose intelligence over beauty. But I am very smart already. And also pretty ugly. A lot of it is weight and I bust my ass to lose 5-10 pounds and then gain it back. What I really need is willpower to eat less.

Yes, so it depends on how "smart" and successful you are.

If you have $$$, you can get plastic surgery, hire a personal trainer, etc.. If you are reasonably intelligent, but don't have a lot of $$, but if you were "smarter" you could make more.

If you are more attractive, that might mean you can find a rich man, but IMO, I'd rather make the money myself, and then buy myself a boy toy in my old age

Smarter doesn’t mean you can get more money! Some of the dumbest people have high salaries.

Sure, but generally, if you are very smart, you can make a lot of money. It's not the only way, but it's one way.

Unless you let smarts manifest by way of being a tech whiz I disagree. The people who get good jobs are well-connected, have good people skills, and are confident. An increase in intelligence has diminishing returns and at some point becomes a liability.

Oh and I’ll add that attractive people make more money.

[Anonymous]

What kind of intelligence? I'd like to be wise enough to know how to support my friends/family without getting my emotions entangled in their problems.

I have more book smarts than I know what to do with. It has led to too many options that I have spent too many years jumping from school to school and not really settling on anything.

I am attractive enough. I have noticed that almost everyone who is more attractive than I am has a harder time finding a quality mate, not an easier time. They have so many options that they tend to pick shallow horrible men who are pretending to be nice. Once they get married, these men turn. I am attractive enough to get a quality man, but not so much that I get a lot of imposters. The imposters I got were more obvious.

Plus my children are attractive enough, so I wouldn't want to change my looks. It may mess up their looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This question just kind of came to me, and I thought I'd ask the crowd. I see a fair amount of discussion around here about what we want in a significant other, but I wonder what we want in ourselves. I happen to think I'm plenty smart but just kind of average looks wise and, so, the temptation would be to want to be better looking. But, I think it's fairly universal in our society to over-estimate one's own intelligence and to under-estimate one's own appearance. Also, as a culture, I think we tend to glorify appearance more directly than we glorify intelligence.

Intelligent for sure. No doubt at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attractive, intelligence has been useful but honestly not THAT useful.

That’s a good pint, as a nerd intelligence is attractive to me but for others, I’ll take looks as it a better social currency. Parents, relatives, teachers, even strangers love beautiful children. Smart and stupid men alike love looks. I would love to go back to my youth and have killers looks and see my crushes lust after me.

[Anonymous]

Intelligence... I'm a dude so as long as I keep the Dad bod at bay I'm good. Unless we're talking about making me significantly taller, 5'9" to 6'4" would be a game changer.

I think women are lucky in this way really because if you're willing to drop 20K on surgery you can basically change your entire life. Whereas for men, breaking my legs and never being able to play sports again it's too high a price.

[Anonymous]

More intelligent. I’m very intelligent already, but would love to be genius level intelligence. At middle age I’m already invisible to most people, so improving my looks would be pointless. I’m cute enough for the red hat purple clothes stage of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More intelligent. I’m very intelligent already, but would love to be genius level intelligence. At middle age I’m already invisible to most people, so improving my looks would be pointless. I’m cute enough for the red hat purple clothes stage of life.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Attractive. Being a pretty woman is like walking through the world with a get out of jail free card. Im one of those women who didn't grow into her looks until late college, so I can speak to this with some authority.
The world just opens up when you're attractive.
I just can't see
The same thing happening if you suddenly gained significant intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attractive. Being a pretty woman is like walking through the world with a get out of jail free card. Im one of those women who didn't grow into her looks until late college, so I can speak to this with some authority.
The world just opens up when you're attractive.
I just can't see
The same thing happening if you suddenly gained significant intelligence.

So most of dcum thinks they're intelligent but not attractive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractive. Being a pretty woman is like walking through the world with a get out of jail free card. Im one of those women who didn't grow into her looks until late college, so I can speak to this with some authority.
The world just opens up when you're attractive.
I just can't see
The same thing happening if you suddenly gained significant intelligence.

So most of dcum thinks they're intelligent but not attractive

Everyone thinks they are brighter than the average

[Anonymous]

I would just like to get rid of my Depression then I could get off medication and be attractive again. And have the motivation to truly use my intelligence.
It's holding me back from both 😞

[Anonymous]

I'd settle for just being in my 20s again. I was smart enough and pretty enough, but didn't take advantage of either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence... I'm a dude so as long as I keep the Dad bod at bay I'm good. Unless we're talking about making me significantly taller, 5'9" to 6'4" would be a game changer.

I think women are lucky in this way really because if you're willing to drop 20K on surgery you can basically change your entire life. Whereas for men, breaking my legs and never being able to play sports again it's too high a price.

Mansplaining

[Anonymous]

I’d pick intelligence.

I was very attractive as a teen and college student. I was very fit was natural DD breasts. It was what people noticed about me - to the exclusion of other attributes. I hated the attention and everyone not caring if I had anything else to offer. People assumed everything I got was due to my looks - in school or at work. It felt demeaning to me and caused my colleagues to look down on me. And men made me feel like I was there for their viewing pleasure. Gross.

I’m just an average woman now and everything I achieve is due to my skill and effort. It’s a much better way to live. I much prefer to be noticed and valued for my intelligence.