Lessons from our mothers -- what you'll take/what you'll leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's get deep (most of us are anonymous on here so take the moment to spill the emotions): what are some of the parenting lessons you will take on from your mother, and what are some of the lessons you'll leave behind?

Take: the sense of love, raising daughters to be strong/independent, ability to get everything and anything done

Leave: guilt, treating children like therapists

Why are you only saying “from your mother”? Why do you not have the same honor or expectation of the role of a father?

Go away.

Why? Not everyone has an absent father or a bad father. Why would we only "take" and "leave" from our mothers? Simple question. Wonder why you won't answer it.

Why not start a thread about taking and leaving from our fathers. Different topic different thread. Makes no sense to ask this on taking from our mothers which is a different thing.

[Anonymous]

Take:
- Cheer for the kid you have.
- Always wear a slip.
- Dinners and desserts made at home just taste better.
- Simple household repairs and maintenance don’t require a man.
- Your long-term financial security is more important than splashy short-term stuff.
- Be a lifelong learner.
- Always make time to just hang out with your kids.

Leave:
- Discomfort with emotions
- High anxiety
- Aversion to animals

[Anonymous]

Take:
-Incredibly hard working
-Generous and unselfish
-conscientious, strong moral fiber
-Tough as a nail in the face of adversity
-athletic

Leave:
-No concept of personal boundary; not respect for privacy and agency in children, even when they were older
-controlling and critical
-no physical warmth or word of affirmation

[Anonymous]

Take:

-Kindness
-Openess/ability to get to the core of an issue (she was everyone in the neighborhood's mom anytime they needed someone to talk to)
-sense of humor
-ambition in a helping/public service career and as an author
-intellectual curiosity that she encouraged in us
-unconditional love (the knowledge that there is absolutely nothing we could do to break it and a couple of us definitely pushed this)
-broke the cycle of alcoholism/abuse in her family with flying colors
-had many deep, meaningful lifelong friendships with people I still consider family
-made it clear that her greatest joy was her children

Leave:
-married a man that was terrible for her to get away from her abusive parents and put up with him for way too long although I learned what NOT to do in marriage
-while she was pretty good about this with her kids, she had great difficulty holding boundaries in the rest of her life and struggled to ever say no to ANYTHING. This lead to some pretty shitty situations at times.
-is way too motivated by guilt