What sacrifices have you made as a parent that you never imagined?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, my mental health. I had virtually no anxiety pre-kids. Now I have 2 daughters and I have to worry about predators, mass shootings, rape….I never thought I’d be an anxious parent but my kids are very rarely out of my sight and they are required to take martial arts classes so they can defend themselves.

Also I have always been very feminist and believe no one deserves to be assaulted no matter what they wear or how they behave. But I am making damn sure my girls keep covered to not attract attention, that they behave in ways that keep predators at bay, and that they do not touch alcohol, drugs, or go to parties.

Which also means I lead by example, so I’ve given up all alcohol and late nights with friends, and I always dress extremely modestly.

Now with the latest school shooting, I am considering home schooling, which also means my career will take a huge hit. I own my own business and work from home, but I would have to scale back by 50% and work on weekends when dad is home.

Ummmmm. You realize some of this is going to backfire spectacularly (kids will rebel with clothing drinking etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, my mental health. I had virtually no anxiety pre-kids. Now I have 2 daughters and I have to worry about predators, mass shootings, rape….I never thought I’d be an anxious parent but my kids are very rarely out of my sight and they are required to take martial arts classes so they can defend themselves.

Also I have always been very feminist and believe no one deserves to be assaulted no matter what they wear or how they behave. But I am making damn sure my girls keep covered to not attract attention, that they behave in ways that keep predators at bay, and that they do not touch alcohol, drugs, or go to parties.

Which also means I lead by example, so I’ve given up all alcohol and late nights with friends, and I always dress extremely modestly.

Now with the latest school shooting, I am considering home schooling, which also means my career will take a huge hit. I own my own business and work from home, but I would have to scale back by 50% and work on weekends when dad is home.

Ummmmm. You realize some of this is going to backfire spectacularly (kids will rebel with clothing drinking etc).

Why do Americans always think children are bound to rebel dramatically?

Like yeah maybe her daughter will wear a tube top in College but so what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the items you listed were a given. Why do you seem surprised?

People don't talk about postpartum complications with the same fervor and openness of any other major surgery problems imo.

This. I had surgery this year for a rare kind of cyst caused by injury during childbirth. Injury to my vagina. The cyst has come and gone for many years. I have a 10 year old now and i just had the surgery. It is really isolating to be on exercise restrictions on and off for years and then to recover from a surgery that just can’t be talked about. The impact to one’s physical health after childbirth is huge and apart from c-sections and weight changes, it is basically taboo to talk about, let alone suffer from/complain about. Every other physical situation I had been in in the past was fixable by medication, diet, exercise, or PT. It was a shock to realize that the “after” of childbirth was a new, permanent state of being. I do feel surprised by the impact my new physical state has had on my life.

[Anonymous]

Not being able to ride a bicycle for more than 30 minutes without excruciating pain. He is 25 and I still cannot ride without considerable discomfort despite trying every seat available. I tore from stem to stern and had a ton of stitches that did not heal kindly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Health - physical and mental. I'm doing what I can - exercise, seeing a therapist for anxiety, seeing specialists for health issues, ongoing dental work, changed diet, made changes to environment. It's still a daily struggle and kid starts Kindergarten in the fall.

Are/were you a SAHM? Either way, it gets better once they're in school full time!

[Anonymous]

My pride.

Having kids is an incredibly humbling experience.

[Anonymous]

The ability to move back home to my country. I am homesick. I want to move back home, but my children’s lives are here, so I have to stay.

[Anonymous]

The ability to cough without peeing.

[Anonymous]

Freedom from a hateful, horrible man. I love my kids dearly, and because of that I have had to live with a man who hates me and shows it every day.

[Anonymous]

Just the everyday of dealing with a child who has severe special needs (ID, medical) We need more help. He’s 15 and going through a rough spell. He wants mommy all the time. He gets stuck and then has meltdowns. It’s a lonely, lonely life I lead. And although my husband is absolutely wonderful and involved, it’s hard dealing with a child with behavior issues. Thank goodness for his wonderful school - at least that is going well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Health - physical and mental. I'm doing what I can - exercise, seeing a therapist for anxiety, seeing specialists for health issues, ongoing dental work, changed diet, made changes to environment. It's still a daily struggle and kid starts Kindergarten in the fall.

Are/were you a SAHM? Either way, it gets better once they're in school full time!

I am, and I’m in school very part time to make a career change. I hope so, thanks! He did go to morning daycare a few times a week, but I’m thinking all day kindergarten 5x/ week will give me so much more time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not being able to ride a bicycle for more than 30 minutes without excruciating pain. He is 25 and I still cannot ride without considerable discomfort despite trying every seat available. I tore from stem to stern and had a ton of stitches that did not heal kindly.

As a cyclist and a mom (vaginal delivery) this breaks my heart for you

[Anonymous]

My individual identity.

It's not just because I'm a parent, but because of all the trappings of the decisions that surround that.

Individually they were expected, but in total, the impact is much greater than I though.

I've really sacrificed the things that make me, me, so that my kids have a certain quality of life.

Trying to claw my way back now that they are older elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not being able to ride a bicycle for more than 30 minutes without excruciating pain. He is 25 and I still cannot ride without considerable discomfort despite trying every seat available. I tore from stem to stern and had a ton of stitches that did not heal kindly.

As a cyclist and a mom (vaginal delivery) this breaks my heart for you

Me too! I'm assuming you discussed with your doctor years ago and didn't see a viable option?

[Anonymous]

Career - but in a very different way than other people have wrote. I assumed that I would use my career capital for a more fulfilling, perhaps lower paying job. Instead, I've stayed in the financial stable, long hour job. (Mother here).