Prom Decliners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids not interested in going to prom?

The last two years all anyone could talk about was how sad it was that kids were missing out on these rites of passage because it was too dangerous to let them gather. Yet this year, I've heard of lots of friends' teens who aren't going to prom. What's this about?

I'm wondering how much this might be a result of stunted development caused by quarantining? Did this year's Juniors and Seniors miss out on learning how to interact with their peer groups? Did social networks fail to form, and so there isn't the normal desire to gather together with your classmates to celebrate? And do the post-covid kids never learn how to go on a date, much less how to ask someone out?

Those were hysterical parents, not kids. The kids we know carried on, maintained friendships, and had an opportunity to figure out how they really wanted to spend their time. For some, it’s prom, for some, it’s not.

Yeah, actual normal people weren't talking about that. Prom is way overblown as a "rite of passage." It's a consumerist, social media exercise in most ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

They know the person is going to say yes. It isn't like the old days boomer

I know a couple of girls that said yes as they knew it was all on camera and didn't want to embarrass the boy with others watching. But then told the boy they weren't interested but didn't want to humiliate them in front if their friends

Didn't happen. None of these boys make the ask until they have clearly gotten yes in advance. Yes, it's stupid, but nobody is getting publicly humiliated

q

It happens all of the time and it’s terrible. Im a teacher and see it or hear of it year after year. Two this week we’re talking in class how they got turned down after their proposals and they friends were joking but giving them a hard time about it. Promposals are horrible and need to stop.

[Anonymous]

I have to say the handful of prom pics that I’ve seen posted on social media look weird to me. Getting all dressed up still seems so uncomfortable to me after 2 years of leggings and pj pants. Same with Oscar night, Met gala, etc. Like, ok, we’re really doing this again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids not interested in going to prom?

The last two years all anyone could talk about was how sad it was that kids were missing out on these rites of passage because it was too dangerous to let them gather. Yet this year, I've heard of lots of friends' teens who aren't going to prom. What's this about?

I'm wondering how much this might be a result of stunted development caused by quarantining? Did this year's Juniors and Seniors miss out on learning how to interact with their peer groups? Did social networks fail to form, and so there isn't the normal desire to gather together with your classmates to celebrate? And do the post-covid kids never learn how to go on a date, much less how to ask someone out?

While I personally worry my son sort of missed out on some social milestones, as far as prom, it might be more that not seeing all the hype for two years allowed kids to take a step back and see how over blown it all had become.

My DS2, who was a senior last year, did skip his prom (such as it was), and I do think it was in part due to COVID-- not so much stunted development (although maybe?) but rather just a lack of connection to school in general. I actually still have a lot of sadness about how his last year and a half of high school went, and the things he (and I!) missed out on.

OTOH, my DS1, who graduated from high school in 2016, also skipped his prom, so it's not like this has never happened before. (He had no interest. I do think, in normal times, DS2 would have been very interested, which is why I feel sad about it. Also, it would have been fun to see one of them in a tux. Oh well.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

They know the person is going to say yes. It isn't like the old days boomer

I know a couple of girls that said yes as they knew it was all on camera and didn't want to embarrass the boy with others watching. But then told the boy they weren't interested but didn't want to humiliate them in front if their friends

Didn't happen. None of these boys make the ask until they have clearly gotten yes in advance. Yes, it's stupid, but nobody is getting publicly humiliated

Happened.

My DD. It happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

They know the person is going to say yes. It isn't like the old days boomer

I know a couple of girls that said yes as they knew it was all on camera and didn't want to embarrass the boy with others watching. But then told the boy they weren't interested but didn't want to humiliate them in front if their friends

Didn't happen. None of these boys make the ask until they have clearly gotten yes in advance. Yes, it's stupid, but nobody is getting publicly humiliated

Happened.

My DD. It happened.

I’m the last PP before you, and not the person who doubted it. I believe you, just thought the reply was funny.

[Anonymous]

"OTOH, my DS1, who graduated from high school in 2016, also skipped his prom, so it's not like this has never happened before. (He had no interest. I do think, in normal times, DS2 would have been very interested, which is why I feel sad about it. Also, it would have been fun to see one of them in a tux. Oh well.)"

I share this sentiment. There were always kids who were never going to join in on the big social events. But COVID knocked out a bunch of kids who would have wanted to go but aren't going. Many of them don't know anybody to ask to be their date, since they haven't had a chance to socialize. Some of them don't even have a group of friends from school that they could go with date-free. And lots of 11th and 12th grade kids at single sex high schools have social lives that are really screwed up since they don't even see girls/boys during the school week. So many kids don't even have friends to do an "alternative" prom with if they choose to snub the official prom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

They know the person is going to say yes. It isn't like the old days boomer

I know a couple of girls that said yes as they knew it was all on camera and didn't want to embarrass the boy with others watching. But then told the boy they weren't interested but didn't want to humiliate them in front if their friends

Didn't happen. None of these boys make the ask until they have clearly gotten yes in advance. Yes, it's stupid, but nobody is getting publicly humiliated

Happened.

My DD. It happened.

I’m the last PP before you, and not the person who doubted it. I believe you, just thought the reply was funny.

Sorry I thought you were doubting me. Thanks for clarifying.

[Anonymous]

There have always been kids who wanted to go to prom and those who didn't. (I didn't go to prom, didn't miss it then and don't regret it now.)

For two years, you heard disappointment from parents of the former. Now you're hearing from the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

I went to both of my proms and they are boring as all get out. My kid when to "hoco" this year and said the same. None of the kids found it fun at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:whew, it's almost as if all the endless hand wringing and complaining about all the things kids were "robbed" of etc due to Covid were really mostly important to the parents anyway.

In our experience the numbers of kids pre Covid and this year are about the same. There are kids that love dances and there are kids that couldn't care less. We have both kinds in our family. Our daughter was a senior in 2020 and was upset that she missed all of the fun end of the year activities. She was very involved in the school and part of the student government. As parents we felt bad that she and her friends missed out. They are all doing great 2 years later but they also still talk about what "should have been". This year we have a son that is a junior. He could care less about going to the prom. His girl friend wants to go so he is going. Most of his friend group (the guys that don't have girlfriends) are not going. They are having a party that night so my son plans to go to prom then to the party with the guys. Luckily promposals are not a big deal here so we don't have to worry about that nonsense.

[Anonymous]

My DS does not like dancing and didn't want to spend his hard earned $$$ on some "weird looking clothes". So on prom night he and his buddies went to Paintball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Our prom was last weekend. School sold 1000 tickets and it sold out the week before. It seemed like an equal amount with dates vs. friend groups. My kid went with friends and had an awesome time.

Holy cow! How big is the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? Teens not interested in getting to 2nd or 3rd base?

During the Regan years, if you wanted to nail your GF, you had to go to prom.

[Anonymous]

"My DS does not like dancing and didn't want to spend his hard earned $$$ on some "weird looking clothes". So on prom night he and his buddies went to Paintball."

I can just picture this. And we wonder why so many adult men are losers who have zero appeal to women. Can't manage to dress themselves. Can't manage to talk to a woman. And the parents do zero to nudge them into adulthood or help them out with the expense?