Prom Decliners

[Anonymous]

The war you're talking about is in Ukraine, not Russia.

[Anonymous]

Seems like a bit of over-wrought hang-wringing.

My husband and I were together in HS - we had four proms between the two of us in Jr and Sr years. We went to prom twice but also skipped two of the proms. In one case we just had an after-party where people came in their fancy clothes. In the other we rented a limo, had a catered dinner at someones house and then went to a comedy club that was having a prom theme night. That was really fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids not interested in going to prom?

The last two years all anyone could talk about was how sad it was that kids were missing out on these rites of passage because it was too dangerous to let them gather. Yet this year, I've heard of lots of friends' teens who aren't going to prom. What's this about?

I'm wondering how much this might be a result of stunted development caused by quarantining? Did this year's Juniors and Seniors miss out on learning how to interact with their peer groups? Did social networks fail to form, and so there isn't the normal desire to gather together with your classmates to celebrate? And do the post-covid kids never learn how to go on a date, much less how to ask someone out?

While I personally worry my son sort of missed out on some social milestones, as far as prom, it might be more that not seeing all the hype for two years allowed kids to take a step back and see how over blown it all had become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

They know the person is going to say yes. It isn't like the old days boomer

I know a couple of girls that said yes as they knew it was all on camera and didn't want to embarrass the boy with others watching. But then told the boy they weren't interested but didn't want to humiliate them in front if their friends

Didn't happen. None of these boys make the ask until they have clearly gotten yes in advance. Yes, it's stupid, but nobody is getting publicly humiliated

Happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids not interested in going to prom?

The last two years all anyone could talk about was how sad it was that kids were missing out on these rites of passage because it was too dangerous to let them gather. Yet this year, I've heard of lots of friends' teens who aren't going to prom. What's this about?

I'm wondering how much this might be a result of stunted development caused by quarantining? Did this year's Juniors and Seniors miss out on learning how to interact with their peer groups? Did social networks fail to form, and so there isn't the normal desire to gather together with your classmates to celebrate? And do the post-covid kids never learn how to go on a date, much less how to ask someone out?

Those were hysterical parents, not kids. The kids we know carried on, maintained friendships, and had an opportunity to figure out how they really wanted to spend their time. For some, it’s prom, for some, it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids didn't go. They are both gay and didn't want to deal with potential homophobic drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them don’t want to deal with the absurdity that is “promposal” these days.

+1 Having to make a public, and potentially crushing and embarrassing, display is too far for many teens. The last thing a teen needs is a TikTok of them getting humiliated at school.

They know the person is going to say yes. It isn't like the old days boomer

I know a couple of girls that said yes as they knew it was all on camera and didn't want to embarrass the boy with others watching. But then told the boy they weren't interested but didn't want to humiliate them in front if their friends

Didn't happen. None of these boys make the ask until they have clearly gotten yes in advance. Yes, it's stupid, but nobody is getting publicly humiliated

Happened.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. No idea why anyone thinks my 2022 senior kid isn't interested in or didn't attend their prom. They went all in, as did the vast majority of the kids at their small high school.

[Anonymous]

Prom and its surrounding drama is the tyranny of the extroverted. It isn’t enough that they want to do it, which would be great. It has to be that they make you feel less than if you don’t, which feels like bullying to those who just don’t like big dances.

[Anonymous]

My kid is not going. It makes me really sad tbh - like he's missing out on a huge milestone and that it's somehow my fault - but I don't think he cares too much. His friends are either going with long-term girlfriends/boyfriends or not at all. He has a lot of female friends who are lesbians and I think the idea of going with an opposite sex friend isn't as much of a thing as it used to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. No idea why anyone thinks my 2022 senior kid isn't interested in or didn't attend their prom. They went all in, as did the vast majority of the kids at their small high school.

The vast majority? Well then why did you even start this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't want to to go to my prom. I had terrible social anxiety at that age. Now in my 40s, I have good friends, but I still don't like large parties. Much prefer quiet dinners with good conversations.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

um I didn't go to my prom and couldn't have cared less? I had sports event that weekend, thank god, because I could easily turn down the kid that asked me. Neve regretted that for one minute.

My DS went to the schools "real prom" last summer with his GF and it was fine. Just fine. My DD went to the unofficial proms where people just got dressed up and took pics and then had parties. That was fine too.

To each their own OP. Doesn't have to be a big scandal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole "proposal" business has now become loaded, and prom was overblown pre Covid; sometimes it costs an enormous amount of money, and there are many expectations for the night that many kids may want to skip (like having sex with their date.)

Prom was loaded before the pandemic and now that kids have had a chance to skip it, they don't want to go back.

+1

People not going to prom isn't new -- plenty of kids in my HS skipped prom, and that was decades ago. The pressure, expectations, and costs have certainly not decreased since then. Can't blame kids for not being that interested in going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. No idea why anyone thinks my 2022 senior kid isn't interested in or didn't attend their prom. They went all in, as did the vast majority of the kids at their small high school.

The vast majority? Well then why did you even start this thread?

So she could get in a dig at the "stunted development" that she wants to blame on the "lockdowns." Or she's an idiot. "Some kids don't like prom" just isn't really a headliner, though, you know?