Trap baby

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who did this (and I was genuinely shocked when she told me years after the fact). She married an older guy who had kids from a previous marriage who had agreed to have one kid with her because she wouldn’t have married him otherwise. The deal was she’d SAH until the kid started school and then she’s return to work. She didn’t want to return to work so she secretly went off BC and got pregnant again.

It worked in that they agreed she’d continue to SAH, but the marriage is a mess. He cheats on her left right and center and she looks the other way.

[Anonymous]

My SIL was in a LTR with a pro athlete. They got married after she got pregnant (IDK if that was intentional/deceptive on her part). They separated when the kid was 2, then got divorced 2 years later. Not a happy story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my friended. Their marriage was on the rocks and How oldest was 10 and moving onto middle school. She did not want to go back to work so she had another child. The baby is adorable but that marriage is miserable.

This is far more common among sahm then most want to admit.

For all the sahms on here do about complaining about thankless and all consuming it is staying home with kids, to the point that they can't do laundry or wipe the bathroom counter, it's a wonder that they all keep having babies.

In my own experience of staying home for 3 years after DS was born, the moms in my moms circle were all pretty honest about both disliking being home with babies but that they hated the idea of work more, so they were quick to start the baby machine again at year 2-3 to avoid any discussion of having to go back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew about ten when we were living in Eastern Europe for work. Most were the much younger local girlfriends of married expat men. Each time, he left his family for the new girlfriend and baby, or his wife left him and he settled for marrying the pregnant girlfriend. Very depressing.

We also knew multiple longtime expat men married to the women with whom they had cheated in previous posts.

The whole experience of seeing what men who would be considered ordinary at home do when they are suddenly faced with multiple opportunities to cheat with or upgrade to gorgeous younger women has made me a more cynical person.

There are many of those couples in the Dc area given the high number of state department employees.

State department employees do not do this, they have a code of ethics.

I know someone who works in mental health at state (they have a whole medical component who's purpose is to provide medical care to DOS employees).

This happens all the time. They fall in love and strongly underestimate cultural differences and there are all kinds of crazy family dynamics in state. It is one of the only professions where not only you travel, but your whole home life travels with you, and so all are profoundly effected by your career and you are constantly being thrown into new and challenging environments.

Also, to be frank, a lot of people who join state are kind of socially awkward and never felt quite at home in the US, hence the being ok with bumping around wildly different countries for years and years, and so they are generally not the most relationship savvy people on the planet to begin with.

That isn't me saying DOS employees are all horrible weirdos, quite the contrary. They are smart hard working curious people. But there are a lot of challenges to that lifestyle and the one described here is 100% true for a variety of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin did this about 20 years ago. Her HS boyfriend was going to leave for college out of state, she couldn't/didn't want to follow him. She got pregnant and they got married after he graduated HS (she dropped out). Stayed together about five years and had one more kid. She's since had four more kids with three other men. He ended up marrying another woman, going to college, and having one more kid- they are still married.

Very similar story with my DH’s cousin, tiny town in the Great Plains. Tried to trap the star QB and it didn’t work. They didn’t stay together though, she now has five kids with three men, one of whom had so many DUIs he could never drive again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL was in a LTR with a pro athlete. They got married after she got pregnant (IDK if that was intentional/deceptive on her part). They separated when the kid was 2, then got divorced 2 years later. Not a happy story.

RGIII?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL was in a LTR with a pro athlete. They got married after she got pregnant (IDK if that was intentional/deceptive on her part). They separated when the kid was 2, then got divorced 2 years later. Not a happy story.

16 years of child support based on a formula that thinks his future earnings are equal to his current earnings isn't a bad consolation prize.

[Anonymous]

When I started dating after my divorce, I didn't tell all my partners I had a vasectomy. I dated 3 different women who I swear were trying to get pregnant by me. It's such a common thing and I've warned my son about 100 times. When a woman wants to get pregnant, she does. BC doesn't fail in nearly the numbers claimed by women.

[Anonymous]

I know a bunch of women who did this in college and no one is with the father right now. Some made it to marriage and are now divorced but most didn't. Horrible thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who did it. She’s still married 6 years later with second kid. Don’t know if they’re happy.

My mom did it with second kid. It was the straw that broke the cakes back.

Or the baby that broke the pussy, so to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a bunch of women who did this in college and no one is with the father right now. Some made it to marriage and are now divorced but most didn't. Horrible thing to do.

You know "a bunch" of college educated women that wanted to have babies at 20? Yeah, I call BS. This sounds more like you're jealous of your female friends that went away to school while you stayed back and worked at a diner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I started dating after my divorce, I didn't tell all my partners I had a vasectomy. I dated 3 different women who I swear were trying to get pregnant by me. It's such a common thing and I've warned my son about 100 times. When a woman wants to get pregnant, she does. BC doesn't fail in nearly the numbers claimed by women.

How did you know?

(And no, I’m not trying to baby trap a man. I’m done having kids and my shop is closed for business).

[Anonymous]

Calling a baby a trap baby is offensive. Same as calling a baby a bastard or illegitimate was offensive. Adults may do stupid things but baby labeling is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I started dating after my divorce, I didn't tell all my partners I had a vasectomy. I dated 3 different women who I swear were trying to get pregnant by me. It's such a common thing and I've warned my son about 100 times. When a woman wants to get pregnant, she does. BC doesn't fail in nearly the numbers claimed by women.

If men don't want kids, they need to take responsibility. Some women may try to "baby trap" but other times contraception pills just fail, especially if you are sick or have stomach issues. Take more responsibility guys and you won't have this problem.

I'm from a military area, and one of my cousins baby trapped a guy for Tricare.

[Anonymous]

Oh. I thought this was about Trap music. Thought we'd discuss Fetty Wapp, Migos, etc. oh well.