Who do men who make 5 figures marry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve been passed over, huh?

OP here, I make 85k which I think is a pretty comfortable salary for 1 person. Yeah it’s pretty annoying seeing women in this area with the 6 figures requirement. It seems ridiculous how this forum looks down on people who make 1XX,000 a year.

I wouldn’t turn you down just because of that (I make less) but are living in DC or somewhere VHCOL?

I’m in MoCo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.

Not judging.

Just trying to understand the mindset of those types of women.

The mindset? “I’m in love with that guy and I want to spend my life growing old with him.”

+1
I married a man who wanted to go into a public service profession. His sense of care/concern for others attracted me to him when we met in college. We’ll never make more than 200K combined because of the fields we chose, and I don’t remotely care. He’s a good man, a loving husband, and a doting father. I wouldn’t trade him for a man who makes 10x his salary.

[Anonymous]

MacKenzie Bezos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he made 5 figures. We were both just graduated from law school and just starting out our careers. He now makes mid 6 figures.

so missed the point. And I’m sure you would love him anyways even if he still made 5…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.

Not judging.

Just trying to understand the mindset of those types of women.

I'm the first PP. We're normal.
FTR, kids are grown and in college.

Making 5 figures when houses even in DC were only $200k is a totally different animal.

[Anonymous]

We both were making 5 figures when we met at 26. Now he’s making mid 6 figures and I’m making low 6 figures.

People that meet in their 20s are starting out and it’s not indicative of their future income. It’s earning potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Median income in the US is only 50k or so. What types of women tend to settle for these men? Obviously not the DCUM crowd.

"Settle"--wow you are arrogant!

[Anonymous]

Op-I take issue with your word “settle.”

We (women), are not products for sale to the highest bidder.

I would much prefer a man who makes 5 figures to someone with your transactional values!

[Anonymous]

Be happy he has a job at all!

-signed, DC single mom getting no child support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.

Not judging.

Just trying to understand the mindset of those types of women.

The mindset? “I’m in love with that guy and I want to spend my life growing old with him.”

+1
I married a man who wanted to go into a public service profession. His sense of care/concern for others attracted me to him when we met in college. We’ll never make more than 200K combined because of the fields we chose, and I don’t remotely care. He’s a good man, a loving husband, and a doting father. I wouldn’t trade him for a man who makes 10x his salary.

And I bet you are teaching your children amazing values—even by your example!

Congratulations on your success!

[Anonymous]

Making making 5 figures marry women making 5 figures. Which happens to be 90% of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.

NP. I do agree with you - but when people say this are they factoring in retirement? Could be a long and costly retirement period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH makes around 90k. I make around 70k (used to make over 100k with bonuses but I am PT since having a kid). We do great. We have very similar priorities -- both prioritize family time and quality of life over income, but also hard workers who like to save think it's important to have multiple sources of income. We have a small home which is what we both prefer (easier to maintain, less to clean) and our kid will go to public school. I think we have a really nice life.

Also, my DH's work, while not high paying, is very meaningful and important. I am proud to be married to someone who is making a difference in the world, and who has been willing to forgo higher pay to do it. I also think it contributes to him having a generally pretty good personal outlook on life, and a generous person in many way. That has only become more true as we've become parents, and I am so glad to be co-parenting with someone who has such high character and strong values. Learning about his work and hearing him talk about it was part of what made me fall in love with him in the first place.

(None of this is a knock on anyone else's marriage -- we have friends who make much more money than we do and they are good people too. I'm just answering the OP's question, which kind of was a knock on my marriage. The idea that making less than 100k is some huge liability in a partner is such a weirdly myopic view of love and marriage.)

So, you only have one kid and that kid isn't even school age yet? Report back in 15 years poster.

OP didn't specify that she only wanted responses from people with kids in college? And in any case -- choosing to have one child is a very valid way to keep your costs down so that you salaries go further.

Also, in 15 years this couple (now at 160k HHI) will likely be at over 200k, plus have paid off their mortgage. So.... what exactly is the problem? If they are smart savers and live within their means, they'll be able to afford college for one kid and a decent retirement. Sounds normal and good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to care about money.
I am not like that but others are. Every one is different. You shouldn’t judge.

NP. I do agree with you - but when people say this are they factoring in retirement? Could be a long and costly retirement period.

My husband and I both make 5 figure salaries. We save monthly for retirement and college. It’s possible to live quite comfortably under $150k, even in the DC region. We live in a smaller house in a bit less desirable zip code, I suppose, but we like what we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve been passed over, huh?

OP here, I make 85k which I think is a pretty comfortable salary for 1 person. Yeah it’s pretty annoying seeing women in this area with the 6 figures requirement. It seems ridiculous how this forum looks down on people who make 1XX,000 a year.

Why should women (or men) choose to struggle and stress about money if they don’t have to? Look at all the threads about couples who aren’t getting by here, why would someone choose that??