Boyfriend wants to get a motorcycle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't own him. You are not married to him. You are not his mother. He is an individual and he gets to do what he wants (take risks) with his own body. Men don't get to tell women how to dress or cut their hair and you don't get to tell someone else how to live either.

So he better be OK with her walking away when he can't feed himself.

That is fine. If him driving a motorcycle is a hard boundary for her then she is morally bound to tell him "if you get hurt I will leave you" or "I will not date someone that drives a motorcycle" They both have a choice to make and they need to be very clear with each other.
Neither person is "wrong" here. He has his needs/wants and she has her needs/wants if they don't line up then they need to break up.

She is nit morally bound to tell a BOYFRIEND that they are not life long partners. It’s part of the deal, she can break up any time for any reason.FFS

Actually, there is a moral imperative for BOTH people who chose to enter into an agreement (relationship) to clearly communicate their conditions upon which they are entering into the relationship. To hide by omission a condition upon which one person will terminate the agreement (relationship) is fundamentally dishonest.

Not telling him her conditions has at least two bad consequences:
1. It will blindside him if he does get hurt when she leaves.
2. If she doesn't tell him, then it will engender resentment in her because she will (in the back of her mind) think to herself "he doesn't care about my needs/feelings because he bought that motorcycle". But she never CLEARLY communicated to him the situation that she will leave IF he gets hurt.

Someone that doesn't communicate the conditions of the relationship is wanting to eat their cake and keep it too. Essentially get the benefit of the relationship (which might end) if they were honest and then not deal with the consequences (walk away) if something bad happens. It is simply not a moral position.

You are insane.

Dating is just that, dating. A woman (or man) can exit at anytime even if it does “blindside” the other. If you are reckless with your life live with the consequences.

+1. I’m pretty sure the guy already knows she isn’t his wife and owes him jack sh*t if he dies.

It is not crazy to establish the rules of the relationship. If she doesn't want to stick around if he gets hurt riding a bike its a good thing to explicitly tell him this. Simply not saying anything can be an issue in the relationship even if he doesn't get hurt because she will resent that he bought a bike without considering her feelings. Telling someone your rules of engagement/disengagement from the relationship is not crazy. Having a secret plans is crazy.