Boyfriend wants to get a motorcycle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are both 40 and divorced and have kids (4 total). He has always wanted a motorcycle and his ex-wife wouldn't let him have one.

I'm not crazy about it, but not going to stop him if it's his dream to ride one. Any tips or advice when discussing this with your significant other?

And ladies, would you ride on it with your man?

Is it a crotch rocket or a Harley (old guy bike)?

I rode a crotch rocket once with a boyfriend in my twenties. I’d never ever ever do it now. I value my life alot more now. A Harley would be fun though I think!

How is either different at posted speeds? Explain to me how, if following posted speeds and the laws of the road, how you’re safer from crashing or being hit, on a Harley vs a “crotch rocket”?

Why do you think insurance premium is higher on sport car (crotch rocket) vs sedan (Harley)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are both 40 and divorced and have kids (4 total). He has always wanted a motorcycle and his ex-wife wouldn't let him have one.

I'm not crazy about it, but not going to stop him if it's his dream to ride one. Any tips or advice when discussing this with your significant other?

And ladies, would you ride on it with your man?

Is it a crotch rocket or a Harley (old guy bike)?

I rode a crotch rocket once with a boyfriend in my twenties. I’d never ever ever do it now. I value my life alot more now. A Harley would be fun though I think!

How is either different at posted speeds? Explain to me how, if following posted speeds and the laws of the road, how you’re safer from crashing or being hit, on a Harley vs a “crotch rocket”?

I dunno. The physics of cruising upright and taking up more space in a lane rather than low to the ground and small seems safer enough.
Kinda like when we go to the country home and ride dirt bikes (hate it) and quads (love it). *shrugs*

[Anonymous]

I volunteered at a rehabilitation hospital for head and spinal cord injuries. 80% of patients were injured in motorcycle accidents, and their families faced with figuring out how to provide 24/7 care for them for the rest of their lives. I also have two friends who were killed in motorcycle accidents.

So no.

[Anonymous]

You don't own him. You are not married to him. You are not his mother. He is an individual and he gets to do what he wants (take risks) with his own body. Men don't get to tell women how to dress or cut their hair and you don't get to tell someone else how to live either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick get life insurance.

Win-win

He doesn’t die great, he dies great

You and a PP innocently think that death is the worst outcome from a motorcycle accident. The worst outcome is living with a severe brain injury -- which the victim won't fully appreciate, but the spouse and children's lives will never be the same. The sheer cost in time and money and lost opportunity for the caregivers is beyond your ability to label with a price tag, and no insurance will come close to compensating for this devastating human condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't own him. You are not married to him. You are not his mother. He is an individual and he gets to do what he wants (take risks) with his own body. Men don't get to tell women how to dress or cut their hair and you don't get to tell someone else how to live either.

So he better be OK with her walking away when he can't feed himself.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that races motorcycles for a hobby, his bike will go 160 mph. He says he would never ever ride a motorcycle around northern Virginia because it is so dangerous. Texting, people driving around FaceTiming each other, careless and distracted drivers can be a death sentence at 40 mph, A direct impact to a helmeted head at 25 mph will kill anyone and that’s if you’re lucky.
I have a high school friend who has been in a wheelchair since a few days before his 20th birthday, he was riding a motorcycle and a taxi made a left-hand turn from the right lane, the crash was at no more than 30 mph.

Statistically your boyfriend will likely be just fine but a man in his 40s has reduced reaction times so try not get too attached.

[Anonymous]

Have him take a bunch of classes before he commits. That why he can get a feels for if he likes riding and if so what he wants in a bike. There are group classes and one-on-one classes.

[Anonymous]

I ride a motorcycle. A big Adventure Bike. 1000ccs.

My advice is to take the course. Absolutely. It is controlled and very safe. I used Apex.

Also, sport bikes are dangerous. Not only are they very fast, but you are small and low to the ground and drivers will have a much more difficult time seeing you. Plus, they are uncomfortable! On my bike, I can sit comfortably and see over the top of all but the tallest SUVs (and I look drivers in the eye. They see me. In any case, get a bike that is power appropriate. I started with a 650 for a few years before moving up.

If you are really concerned about safety, there are now airbags for motorcycle riders. In the event of a crash, you turn into the Michelin Man. Like this https://www.revzilla.com/motorcycle/helite-leather-airbag-jacket He should stay off the Beltway (always) and other highways during rush hour until experienced.

Go for it. Fun and environmentally better than a car. And cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are both 40 and divorced and have kids (4 total). He has always wanted a motorcycle and his ex-wife wouldn't let him have one.

I'm not crazy about it, but not going to stop him if it's his dream to ride one. Any tips or advice when discussing this with your significant other?

And ladies, would you ride on it with your man?

I’ve been riding since I’ve been years old and I’m now fifty two. Rode all my life without a license. I took the motorcycle safety course, passed and now legally ride. Even though I rode all those years without training, I learned a lot. If I want to ride, but have a bad feeling, I don’t ride.
1. If he doesn’t have his license, take the course.
2. Don’t be stupid. Don’t even have one alcoholic drink and ride.
3. Have respect for the bike. It can hurt and kill you.
4. Ride within your limits.
5. Don’t buy the first bike you test ride.
6. Wear the gear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick get life insurance.

Win-win

He doesn’t die great, he dies great

Wow is this how you see a boyfriend or husband? Just a way to cash in?

[Anonymous]

I would let him have his dream but tell him you will not be caring for him should he get in an accident and become disabled. I would never ride with him. Also, I would suggest that he makes arrangements for his children if anything happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't own him. You are not married to him. You are not his mother. He is an individual and he gets to do what he wants (take risks) with his own body. Men don't get to tell women how to dress or cut their hair and you don't get to tell someone else how to live either.

So he better be OK with her walking away when he can't feed himself.

That is fine. If him driving a motorcycle is a hard boundary for her then she is morally bound to tell him "if you get hurt I will leave you" or "I will not date someone that drives a motorcycle" They both have a choice to make and they need to be very clear with each other.
Neither person is "wrong" here. He has his needs/wants and she has her needs/wants if they don't line up then they need to break up.

[Anonymous]

My husband has been saying he wants a motorcycle but now with kids he’s probably not getting one but I imagine when he hits his midlife crisis, it will come up again. I lost a friend to one and my dad was severely injured while riding one when he was younger (his bones healed but it’s suspected he had a brain injury that was never formally diagnosed). You have my sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick get life insurance.

Win-win

He doesn’t die great, he dies great

You and a PP innocently think that death is the worst outcome from a motorcycle accident. The worst outcome is living with a severe brain injury -- which the victim won't fully appreciate, but the spouse and children's lives will never be the same. The sheer cost in time and money and lost opportunity for the caregivers is beyond your ability to label with a price tag, and no insurance will come close to compensating for this devastating human condition.

Okay add … don’t move in with him or marry him so you can cut and run in the event of TBI.