So is it private school or wealthy families?

[Anonymous]

I went to public school but my parents instilled in me a tremendous work ethic. I consider myself completely self made. I worry that it’s hard to do the same for my kids in private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is another factor. For a while I was very involved with new college graduates recruited at my work for an executive training program, and I went through this program myself. I guess our screening was pretty good - all the young adults were very bright, hard working, conscientious, etc.; we barely had any bad apples. And in the first few years they all performed equally well regardless of where they went to school. The differences started showing up about 3 years out. The ones who grew up privileged had an easier time talking to higher ups, making their points, shmoozing at happy hours and so on, and they ended up being promoted faster. I know that some people are able to absorb it simply by being around those who grew up privileged, but many can't.

Will attending private schools give a middle class kid the confidence and social skills that privileged kids often have? This is a big part of what I hope my child will get from attending private schools. I am foolish to expect this?

I've seen it working both ways. For a kid who has self esteem issues, the private school may just emphasize how far she is from the rest of the students, and it will make her life unbearable. Even in the nicest, kindest environment you can't avoid knowing where you classmates live, where they go for vacations, and so on. But for a middle class kid who has a certain level of confidence, the private school can provide additional polish and make her shine.

This is so spot on.

[Anonymous]

The top public school students are striver grinds. They’re annoying and lack social grace. The top private school kids are just as smart, are almost always for lack of a better word cooler, better public speakers, better communicators, better writers, better style. Private school alums just have a certain... je ne sais quoi.

[Anonymous]

It’s a combination of many things- family wealth, family connections, smarts, and I think most importantly emotional intelligence and personality. As for school, I think it’s important, but not everything.

[Anonymous]

Yea,
Confirmation bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Harvard, for example, as it’s average career salary 10 years out listed as being in the six figures. But that does not mean your child will have access to the jobs that yield that. Your normal Larla doesn’t have a job waiting for her at the family’s hedge fund when she graduates from Harvard like, at one point, most of Harvard students did.

No, but don't discount the friend groups they make. My husband grew up dirt poor and went to a prestigious private University with aid. His best friend since Freshmen year's family had connections and that is how he obtained his first job out of college... which then launched his independent career by his own hard work. But--in a very tight job market those connections certainly helped.

Was your DH an athlete? How did he meet this friend, seems like they would be in different circles (at my private university the rich kids had cars and went to the city or skiing on weekends — I was working in the student dining hall)

He was athletic, but not a college athlete. He was insanely intelligent but liked to party. He met them at his fraternity Freshmen year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The top public school students are striver grinds. They’re annoying and lack social grace. The top private school kids are just as smart, are almost always for lack of a better word cooler, better public speakers, better communicators, better writers, better style. Private school alums just have a certain... je ne sais quoi.

Allez vous faire foutre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top public school students are striver grinds. They’re annoying and lack social grace. The top private school kids are just as smart, are almost always for lack of a better word cooler, better public speakers, better communicators, better writers, better style. Private school alums just have a certain... je ne sais quoi.

Allez vous faire foutre.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The top public school students are striver grinds. They’re annoying and lack social grace. The top private school kids are just as smart, are almost always for lack of a better word cooler, better public speakers, better communicators, better writers, better style. Private school alums just have a certain... je ne sais quoi.

I hope you didn’t dislocate your shoulder patting yourself on the back like that.

and y’all wonder why everyone hates you…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top public school students are striver grinds. They’re annoying and lack social grace. The top private school kids are just as smart, are almost always for lack of a better word cooler, better public speakers, better communicators, better writers, better style. Private school alums just have a certain... je ne sais quoi.

Allez vous faire foutre.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top public school students are striver grinds. They’re annoying and lack social grace. The top private school kids are just as smart, are almost always for lack of a better word cooler, better public speakers, better communicators, better writers, better style. Private school alums just have a certain... je ne sais quoi.

I hope you didn’t dislocate your shoulder patting yourself on the back like that.

and y’all wonder why everyone hates you…

DP. It is useful to have the skills mentioned though…. Otherwise you get lame work assignments away from people. At least that’s how it is in most work places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a combination of many things- family wealth, family connections, smarts, and I think most importantly emotional intelligence and personality. As for school, I think it’s important, but not everything.

+1 emotional intelligence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a combination of many things- family wealth, family connections, smarts, and I think most importantly emotional intelligence and personality. As for school, I think it’s important, but not everything.

+1 emotional intelligence

I
Not sure about that: Bill Gates, Elan Musk, Warren Buffet, Etc are known for their sparkling personalities.

[Anonymous]

NOT known

[Anonymous]

But they are all from wealthy/well off families