this can't be MCPS policy, can it?

[Anonymous]

Step 1 is to file a Bullying Report.
Step 2 is peace order.
Steps 1 and 2 can happen concurrently.

[Anonymous]

It's funny how you think you're over something, say a past trauma, over it enough to talk about it... And then, for whatever reason someone chirps up with their gaslighting again and then it's like it's all back.

So thanks for that, PP.

Thanks for reminding me how when my autistic daughter was physically assaulted by boys twice in two years walking home from school, the community banded together to call her a bully.

Thanks for reminding me of the summer when I had to pick her up from her art class at the community center because there was this kid who'd hang around outside threatening to stab her. While I waited for D and D, it was just that group of girls who liked to tell me how she was a bad seed and all autistic kids are crazy. It was really something, in a community supposedly known for tolerance and inclusion just how ostracized we were. How no one listened to us. How repeatedly she was blamed for what was, honestly, pretty mild ADHD and social awkwardness.

Thanks for bringing back that week she couldn't walk after she was shoved to the ground, and the complete lack of interest I got from the school about it.

My daughter was very brave. She went back and faced her accusers and her assaulters every day. I doubt yours would be capable of that. I deeply, deeply regret not pulling her sooner. But I was an optimistic back then. We'd always been involved in our community, in our schools. I thought these things could be mediated. Mitigated. I didn't realize how hostile and toxic it truly was until we left.

You know, at the time, I couldn't even let myself get mad. I was just trying to get through one day at a time, for my kid and for my family. I was trying to keep up a facade for her so she didn't have to know how bad things were. Of course, as I realized later, she knew every day, because every day in school she was harassed, maligned, and stalked.

It's funny: we changed schools and all the drama stopped. She's had a fantastic academic career. We are so proud of her. I like to think that she's forgotten the trauma. I... obviously, never will.

But thanks for bringing back the fun times we had. Do I hold a grudge? Yes. Alicia Deeney handled the situation horrifically.

I won't convince you, but we can't care about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The principal at our highly regarded middle school blamed our daughter for similar bullying happening to her. I tried to speak out and you all blame me.

If this is the kid at my kid's down county middle school a few years ago, she antagonized kids repeatedly and was more bully than bullied. That was not similar.

I am sorry, school admin has responded poorly, OP. I hope the bullying report and/or police can help.

DP. I just want to be clear, when the PPP says "blamed our daughter for similar bullying happening to her" -- I am reading that PPP as saying that that PPP's daughter also received threats of rape and violence. Those kinds of threats are never OK under any circumstances. Girls are often blamed for "provoking" or "attracting" sexual threats, which is what you seem to be suggesting when you say that you, immediate PP, think that you know who the PPP's child is and that that child "antagonized kids repeatedly and was more bully than bullied".

I say this, because it was our, DP, experience that girls in our MS, were blamed by MCPS administrators for provoking sexual assault. I literally heard an MCPS staffer correct a parent who complained at a public meeting about sexual harassment of girls! The MCPS administrator said in a very patronizing tone, "you parents don't understand, these girls actually want this kind of attention".

FWIW, historically, women have often been blamed for sexual assault or even prosecuted for it. So, this kind of thinking is entrenched in society.

Actual or threatened sexual harassment or assaults are never acceptable.

PP here. I was thinking of a non-rape, non-sexual assault incident at our DCC MS. (Not OP's incident). Though, if it's the parent I thought it was, she may conflate it. She posted here about it, and, at the time, I had kids at the school who had classes w/ the kid and had witnessed the kid's behavior, and I knew the admin well (and had known them to be pro-active and responsive to any allegations). The person's account was wildly inaccurate. For some reason, the PPP's post just struck a chord and reminded me of that incident (maybe the "highly regarded DC MS" and "you all blame me" -- this mom was a perpetual victim).

If it was my kid's DC MS, the highly regarded admin earned that regard by taking any allegation, even verbal harassment very seriously. They would certainly not have dismissed a threat of assault. They actually did sort out a situation in which my kid was threatened off campus. Well resolved.

But, it could have been about another school/person/situation, certainly.

I am very sad to read about OP's school's admin. I hope she is able to get support, justice and freedom from this.

This is wildly inaccurate. But I have to ask, Takoma Park Mom, what kind of person blames a twelve-year-old girl? What kind of woman refers to another as a " perpetual victim" when she doesn't know her at all? There's some serious issues going on there and they're not ours.

[Anonymous]

There's one thing you are right about, however. I shouldn't mention it here. I regret doing so. Like I said, my kid is over it. I never will be. That's not "victimhood," that's my Philly coming through. My, are you gonna say that to my face? No? Then get out. )

Apologies. Highly inappropriate. Let's talk some more about SRO officers.

[Anonymous]

It’s sad how things never change. I had a similar experience in middle school being bullied by two boys and no one did anything about it, blamed me for seeking attention, etc. I was fortunate in that the leader of the two boys moved away after 7th grade and the other one left me alone after that. This was 30 years ago. I thought bullying was taken more seriously now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend's tween daughter was told by her classmate that she was on his "rape list" and one of her friends is on the same boy's "kill list." The same boy has harassed my friend's daughter for months, telling her the (violent) things he's going to do to her. The girl is a mess and traumatized, refusing to go out of the house, etc. it's bad enough that girl and female friend are going to try to change schools or districts. according to friend, the school (and the principal) hasn't done anything about it, neither child was asked to switch classes and the boy was not suspended or even asked to see the school counsellor, supposedly b/c mcps has a "reintigration" policy or something like that. Surely, in this post-columbine world this can't be the policy? that a kid making death threats to others isn't even reprimanded or asked to get counselling?

One challenge can be if the interaction is verbal. Then it becomes a "he said, she said."

Our DC experienced repeated verbal bullying from another child who also stabbed our DC with a pencil in ES. The teacher thought the children should spend more time together to work out their differences, and said that was what the other child's parents wanted. It took our suggestion in writing to file a bullying report and a hostile response from the teacher before the principal was willing to take any action. Even then, it was our child, not the bully, who had to change classrooms. There were no consequences for the bully, but at least our child was safe.

[Anonymous]

MCPS trains their admin to look for something BOTH the victim and the bully can work on. It makes it a lot easier to document that they acted and that it's just kids being kids or it's a conflict between two kids. Bullying is not conflict BETWEEN two kids.


For my son who was the victim of bullying and the kid who physically attacked him and said he'd kill him in the halls, both were given the same punishment - lunch detention.

Wanna know what my kid did to get lunch detention? He told a friend that he had been threatened and was scared.

The school said kids are only permitted to tell school admin if there is a safety issue - not other students. That is total BS - it's not in the handbook and you cannot legally silence a victim! He was scared and knew the kid he told would look out for him. Admin had already swept other incidents under the rug. I told them my son turned to other students because the school wouldn't help.

There is someone who handles special cases like this for MCPS. It's been a while and I can't remember but the person was actually helpful. Luckily we haven't had this problem in a while.


I'm sorry OP. It sucks. Why not call police?

I'd have a lawyer contact MCPS too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend's tween daughter was told by her classmate that she was on his "rape list" and one of her friends is on the same boy's "kill list." The same boy has harassed my friend's daughter for months, telling her the (violent) things he's going to do to her. The girl is a mess and traumatized, refusing to go out of the house, etc. it's bad enough that girl and female friend are going to try to change schools or districts. according to friend, the school (and the principal) hasn't done anything about it, neither child was asked to switch classes and the boy was not suspended or even asked to see the school counsellor, supposedly b/c mcps has a "reintigration" policy or something like that. Surely, in this post-columbine world this can't be the policy? that a kid making death threats to others isn't even reprimanded or asked to get counselling?

No it isn't mcps policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MCPS trains their admin to look for something BOTH the victim and the bully can work on. It makes it a lot easier to document that they acted and that it's just kids being kids or it's a conflict between two kids. Bullying is not conflict BETWEEN two kids.


For my son who was the victim of bullying and the kid who physically attacked him and said he'd kill him in the halls, both were given the same punishment - lunch detention.

Wanna know what my kid did to get lunch detention? He told a friend that he had been threatened and was scared.

The school said kids are only permitted to tell school admin if there is a safety issue - not other students. That is total BS - it's not in the handbook and you cannot legally silence a victim! He was scared and knew the kid he told would look out for him. Admin had already swept other incidents under the rug. I told them my son turned to other students because the school wouldn't help.

There is someone who handles special cases like this for MCPS. It's been a while and I can't remember but the person was actually helpful. Luckily we haven't had this problem in a while.


I'm sorry OP. It sucks. Why not call police?

I'd have a lawyer contact MCPS too

That's really odd. When I reported bullying of my child, the school did nothing like this and was extremely helpful in handling the situation.

[Anonymous]

What about the female student who had a drug induced seizure in one of the W Bethesda high school today in class; accidental Overdose. Why isn't anything being done to arrest the bully-dealer-student