this can't be MCPS policy, can it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,
thank you for all the suggestions and confirmation that this is not what is supposed to happen. My friend tried contacting the superintendent but apparently he didnt return her emails. After the "kill list" she finally went to the police (the harassment had been happening for months before, but it was always about rape, not murder). The police actually did go to the boy's house, Unfortunately, because they could not find a physical list they said they could do nothing more unless friend files a lawsuit.

I don't know if she's tried the peace order or bully report, those are great suggestions, thank you.

I get the need for due process, and for children to be treated differently than adults and allowed some time to rehabilitate, and why the police couldn't do more without physical evidence or having the girl go through the traumatizing process of a lawsuit.

HOWEVER this all seems so, so wrong. the girl is left so traumatized she needs professional help and the boy isn't even suspended or put into separate classes, and the administration can't even respond to a parent's very serious concern. I cant help but feel that if the boy said these things to another boy, or to a teacher, it would be taken very differently.

I'm trying to get friend to speak up to the PTA or something, even if she moves or changes schools, for the good of the other kids because honestly--though i admit that i'm not around teens or tweens much--sounds pretty sociopathic to me. and if he's doing it this young, and with so few consequences, i can see his behavior escalating to something even more dangerous. I am so glad i don't have a daughter or any child that goes to that school.

She needs to go to the Department of Juvenile Services and file a Peace Order. That can help start the process to change classes and put other safety measures in place. Here is their phone number: 301-610-8500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The principal at our highly regarded middle school blamed our daughter for similar bullying happening to her. I tried to speak out and you all blame me.

If this is the kid at my kid's down county middle school a few years ago, she antagonized kids repeatedly and was more bully than bullied. That was not similar.

I am sorry, school admin has responded poorly, OP. I hope the bullying report and/or police can help.

DP. I just want to be clear, when the PPP says "blamed our daughter for similar bullying happening to her" -- I am reading that PPP as saying that that PPP's daughter also received threats of rape and violence. Those kinds of threats are never OK under any circumstances. Girls are often blamed for "provoking" or "attracting" sexual threats, which is what you seem to be suggesting when you say that you, immediate PP, think that you know who the PPP's child is and that that child "antagonized kids repeatedly and was more bully than bullied".

I say this, because it was our, DP, experience that girls in our MS, were blamed by MCPS administrators for provoking sexual assault. I literally heard an MCPS staffer correct a parent who complained at a public meeting about sexual harassment of girls! The MCPS administrator said in a very patronizing tone, "you parents don't understand, these girls actually want this kind of attention".

FWIW, historically, women have often been blamed for sexual assault or even prosecuted for it. So, this kind of thinking is entrenched in society.

Actual or threatened sexual harassment or assaults are never acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid ever ends up on someone's rape or kill list, they need to be the first name on yours.

LMFAO! Starting my "rape list" now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid ever ends up on someone's rape or kill list, they need to be the first name on yours.

LMFAO! Starting my "rape list" now.

I was only half kidding. You have to strike fear in the heart of a bully. You have to convince them that bullying your kid isn't worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The principal at our highly regarded middle school blamed our daughter for similar bullying happening to her. I tried to speak out and you all blame me.

If this is the kid at my kid's down county middle school a few years ago, she antagonized kids repeatedly and was more bully than bullied. That was not similar.

I am sorry, school admin has responded poorly, OP. I hope the bullying report and/or police can help.

DP. I just want to be clear, when the PPP says "blamed our daughter for similar bullying happening to her" -- I am reading that PPP as saying that that PPP's daughter also received threats of rape and violence. Those kinds of threats are never OK under any circumstances. Girls are often blamed for "provoking" or "attracting" sexual threats, which is what you seem to be suggesting when you say that you, immediate PP, think that you know who the PPP's child is and that that child "antagonized kids repeatedly and was more bully than bullied".

I say this, because it was our, DP, experience that girls in our MS, were blamed by MCPS administrators for provoking sexual assault. I literally heard an MCPS staffer correct a parent who complained at a public meeting about sexual harassment of girls! The MCPS administrator said in a very patronizing tone, "you parents don't understand, these girls actually want this kind of attention".

FWIW, historically, women have often been blamed for sexual assault or even prosecuted for it. So, this kind of thinking is entrenched in society.

Actual or threatened sexual harassment or assaults are never acceptable.

PP here. I was thinking of a non-rape, non-sexual assault incident at our DCC MS. (Not OP's incident). Though, if it's the parent I thought it was, she may conflate it. She posted here about it, and, at the time, I had kids at the school who had classes w/ the kid and had witnessed the kid's behavior, and I knew the admin well (and had known them to be pro-active and responsive to any allegations). The person's account was wildly inaccurate. For some reason, the PPP's post just struck a chord and reminded me of that incident (maybe the "highly regarded DC MS" and "you all blame me" -- this mom was a perpetual victim).

If it was my kid's DC MS, the highly regarded admin earned that regard by taking any allegation, even verbal harassment very seriously. They would certainly not have dismissed a threat of assault. They actually did sort out a situation in which my kid was threatened off campus. Well resolved.

But, it could have been about another school/person/situation, certainly.

I am very sad to read about OP's school's admin. I hope she is able to get support, justice and freedom from this.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My friend ended up getting a Peace Order and filing a bullying report. Apparently having a connected parent and/or deeply unconcerned school head wins out over both of these. My friend ended up moving districts, her preteen child is still so traumatized she has therapy multiple times a week and cant sleep in a room alone but at least she feels safe enough to go to school.

My friend was too disheartened b/c all of this, worried about her child/busy dealing with the move/ afraid of social blowback for her daughter right as she was leaving to go to the PTA at her school so that other parents would know and be able to look out for their children better but she authorized me to disclose the school.

A few details in my posts were changed to protect the identity of the child but all of the actions of the harasser and the general age of the children is true.

The school is Garrett Park. Parents, please be on your guard. The harasser is still in your school and I really doubt they will stop at this one girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My friend ended up getting a Peace Order and filing a bullying report. Apparently having a connected parent and/or deeply unconcerned school head wins out over both of these. My friend ended up moving districts, her preteen child is still so traumatized she has therapy multiple times a week and cant sleep in a room alone but at least she feels safe enough to go to school.

My friend was too disheartened b/c all of this, worried about her child/busy dealing with the move/ afraid of social blowback for her daughter right as she was leaving to go to the PTA at her school so that other parents would know and be able to look out for their children better but she authorized me to disclose the school.

A few details in my posts were changed to protect the identity of the child but all of the actions of the harasser and the general age of the children is true.

The school is Garrett Park. Parents, please be on your guard. The harasser is still in your school and I really doubt they will stop at this one girl.

It happened at an ES? that is very disturbing. so sorry your friend and her kid had to go through that. deeply disturbing the school chose not to do anything to protect the young girl from threats and bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the school isn’t doing anything your friend needs to get the Police involved. And I don’t suggest involving the Police lightly.

You should get the police involved regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have lived under a rock or never read these forums, you know that IS MCPS policy. Kids get shuffled around and they do not get expelled.

Until they get expelled and there have been multiple examples of this cited on these forums as well but sure some people prefer to create the narrative that they aren't

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the kind of thing that would be excused away at my school by the following phrase: "manifestation of disability."

Basically, if a kid has an emotional disability, nothing that they say has any consequence. I bet that is what is going on here though, of course, the school can't tell parents that the kid making threats is in a special program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into a Peace order:
https://www.peoples-law.org/peace-orders

If harm has already been done then a protective order could apply:
https://www.peoples-law.org/peace-orders

Great advice. The Peace Order is #1. Then get an attorney. THEN meet with MCPS with your attorney and slap the Peace Order on the P's table.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by "connected parent"? Connected to who? MCPS? The police? A politician?

[Anonymous]

If this was happening to my daughter (and I don't have a daughter, I have a son) I would write the principal TOMORROW and cc: higher ups saying "here's a recap of what's been happening, here are the actions I understand have been taken, please feel free to correct me within 48 hours. Since the situation continues to escalate, and since I don't feel MCPS is providing appropriate services to the victim, I will be communicating directly with the police from here on out so that they may attempt to do so. I thought it was proper to give you a heads up in case they come to campus as a result."

[Anonymous]

I'd believe it. When my kid was in 5th grade the principal refused to do anything about a kid that told several kids in the class that they should kill themselves. She said this was "normal 5th grade behavior".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have lived under a rock or never read these forums, you know that IS MCPS policy. Kids get shuffled around and they do not get expelled.

Really? That's odd a kid was expelled from DC's school for similar behavior.

No kids are expelled from mcps. He was just reassigned to a different school. That's not what expelled means.