Consoling kids, if they don't get into their first choice school, or perhaps any

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was pleasantly surprised how things worked out last year for 9th. Kids really seemed to get into the right schools for them.

I have a very different perspective. Kids and parents make the schools work - there is not necessarily a "right" schools for the kids. This was especially true last year because of increased demand. I'm sure a lot more kids would have been done extremely well at competitive schools than their was room to fit them or financial aid to support them. My kids both went k-8 to big 3s for what it's worth, so this is not sour grapes.

It seems like your kids were in a good situation so it seems kind of judgmental for you to assume everything is so lucky for others. What you say is only true to a point. Some schools are not the best fit for some kids.
And no PP it does not work out for everyone
There are far more qualified and great applicants than there are spots at the best schools.

We always talked up our MoCo public as a good fallback, if DS had no acceptances. DS was a better fit for private, but knew his parents went to public schools so it didn't seem like it would be the end of the world if he had to go to public. DS was either wait listed or rejected by several of the "Big X" downtown schools (attended a different private), but ended up going to one of the most selective ivies. The DC private school admission process was far more emotionally draining than the college application process (and at the end of the day, DS is much happier to have been rejected by prestigious DC privates and accepted at his college, rather than the other way around). Good luck to all.

What private did they end up at?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started prepping our kids a few weeks ago, telling them the statistics we knew (like over 900 applicants to Bullis freshman class)

This is utter Bullishit.

Easily triggered? Forget your meds or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started prepping our kids a few weeks ago, telling them the statistics we knew (like over 900 applicants to Bullis freshman class), the idea of siblings and legacies, etc. I’m super glad we did because I don’t think we are getting in anywhere. I also started talking up the public option (we are inbound for Whitman). I think they will be ok when we get the rejections.

What?!?! Please tell me Bullis did not receive 900 applications for 9th grade.

Bullis has not received over 900 applications for 9th grade. Trust me on that fact.

I got that from an insider.

Definitely not for one grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be telling my kid that he should have worked harder than he did, that he should have turned more of his homework assignments in on time than he did, that this is a learning lesson, and that, regardless, he's moving on to the next grade and to make the best of it.

You're joking right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be telling my kid that he should have worked harder than he did, that he should have turned more of his homework assignments in on time than he did, that this is a learning lesson, and that, regardless, he's moving on to the next grade and to make the best of it.

Your kid will resent you and feel inferior and unworthy, why do that? Unless of course you are joking, then it's a bad joke.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. I told DC that there were other kids who were willing to work harder. Some certainly have natural affinity for academics, but just like sports, some kids put in more time and effort.

Better DC learns this now before college apps hit in a few years. Was it harsh, maybe. But when you are coasting through MS (and others aren’t) you can’t expect to be picked for the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I told DC that there were other kids who were willing to work harder. Some certainly have natural affinity for academics, but just like sports, some kids put in more time and effort.

Better DC learns this now before college apps hit in a few years. Was it harsh, maybe. But when you are coasting through MS (and others aren’t) you can’t expect to be picked for the team.

I think a good life lesson, yes, if handled with kindness and if it’s true
But the truth is that many haven’t worked harder they just had hooks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With Decision Day about two weeks away, I'm wondering if anyone out there has any advice regarding consoling kids if things don't work out the way they had hoped. Since we won't have any idea why our children are or are not accepted, how do we help lessen the sting? My child is in middle school, so he's old enough to understand "acceptance" or "rejection." If he isn't accepted, should I just tell him he was waitlisted if he doesn't get in to his top choice or any of the schools we applied to on his behalf?

Sending you good luck and a hug through the airwaves, OP

Its gut wrenching when someone doesn't appreciate your child as they should. Even if it is just a numbers game... its still a gut punch

Our DC was WL for Pre-K and got in off WL. 14 years later graduated cum laude and won a couple of the school's highest awards at graduation.

Here is my advice: If you get a WL, hide your worry and send in the wait list accept, write a 1st choice letter if taken off WL or make 1 phone call - ONLY ONE. Maybe wait until a week or so goes by when their declines are starting to roll in. Be nice , be cool and then force yourself to think about something else. Kinda like if you just broke up with a major boy friend. Think about anything else

If you don't get off WL come April 1st OR if your DC is not offered admission AT ALL next week ( rejection ) then take your kid somewhere they love where you can give them lots of 1:1 attention and tell them just how foolish you think that school was for making such a DUMB mistake. Their LOSS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not getting into her first choice school turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to my kid. Things work out. Be positive.

+1!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started prepping our kids a few weeks ago, telling them the statistics we knew (like over 900 applicants to Bullis freshman class), the idea of siblings and legacies, etc. I’m super glad we did because I don’t think we are getting in anywhere. I also started talking up the public option (we are inbound for Whitman). I think they will be ok when we get the rejections.

What?!?! Please tell me Bullis did not receive 900 applications for 9th grade.

Bullis has not received over 900 applications for 9th grade. Trust me on that fact.

I got that from an insider.

Definitely not for one grade.

Hellno! And I’d say that is a stretch even if was 900 total. They may have had 900 applicants over the last 5 years.

[Anonymous]

I’m not worried about the kids. This seems like the last thing in their mind. I put a lot of time and energy into this. If they don’t get into one of our top picks, I’m gonna need consoling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not worried about the kids. This seems like the last thing in their mind. I put a lot of time and energy into this. If they don’t get into one of our top picks, I’m gonna need consoling.

Oh my god. So very true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not worried about the kids. This seems like the last thing in their mind. I put a lot of time and energy into this. If they don’t get into one of our top picks, I’m gonna need consoling.

Oh my god. So very true!

100%. And I am trying to figure out why I am so wrapped up in this. I think it because COVID has been hard on my kid and we need something different/new. But still, I can arm chair that my anxiety is sky high and it's me driving it!

[Anonymous]

Now that decisions are out, what did you end up doing.

[Anonymous]

We were sure DD wouldn’t get to her top choice. Had a whole speech ready. Didn’t need to use it.