Consoling kids, if they don't get into their first choice school, or perhaps any

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer the OP, I would not lie and tell my child he/she was waitlisted if they were rejected.

Yes, don't lie. It will turn your kid into a liar too. We know someone who did this and her daughter told EVERYONE she was WL for Sidwell. The girls were laughing at her behind her back because they all knew she didn't get in. It was sad because I knew it was probably her mom that told her that, so she was really innocent about it all.

Sounds like a lovely group of friends. Regardless, I think Sidwell is one of those schools that WL everyone at 9th, so she probably was WL and not rejected. I assumed it was a soft rejection when my DC was WL for 9th.

Middle school girls can be so lovely. Lemme guess... you were perfect and so are your kids.... everyone else has a problem...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We applied but now am scared we can’t afford the financial commitment! I am scared child will get in and have to explain the reverse of not being able to attend. I am trying to believe all will happen for a reason

If you’re not willing to pay, make the decision now. Tell your kid, then tell the school.

Yes don’t commit to 45 k a year and it increases every year if you can’t afford it. Tell the school you have to pull the application due to financial issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hardest part for my kid last year -- who didn't have a first-choice school, and had one acceptance and a number of WLs, so overall came through last year's crazy application season in good shape -- were the kids in her 8th grade class who just could not help themselves from musing "which should I choose" in public. And the kids were well aware of the status rankings among various DC private schools, so that came up too. If your kid is in a grade where many (or all) are applying to privates or to application public schools, they will talk and they can be thoughtless. And I don't have particularly good advice for that situation other than being a safe place to share how much that behavior can sting sometimes. (I should add that my child's one acceptance was at one of the two schools -- not a "Big 3" -- I thought would be the best fit and it has worked out well so far.)

I would also say, I think kids view a WL decision as pretty much the same as a rejection, so I don't think telling them they were waitlisted if they were instead rejected would lessen the sting very much. In any event, we logged on to Ravenna together that afternoon so we could see and process the results together.

The kids are old enough to read the letters themselves they are 13 or 14! They will know what it says and no a rejection stings more than waitlist if you know it’s a real waitlist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer the OP, I would not lie and tell my child he/she was waitlisted if they were rejected.

Yes, don't lie. It will turn your kid into a liar too. We know someone who did this and her daughter told EVERYONE she was WL for Sidwell. The girls were laughing at her behind her back because they all knew she didn't get in. It was sad because I knew it was probably her mom that told her that, so she was really innocent about it all.

Sounds like a lovely group of friends. Regardless, I think Sidwell is one of those schools that WL everyone at 9th, so she probably was WL and not rejected. I assumed it was a soft rejection when my DC was WL for 9th.

Middle school girls can be so lovely. Lemme guess... you were perfect and so are your kids.... everyone else has a problem...

Sidwell definitely does not WL every applicant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer the OP, I would not lie and tell my child he/she was waitlisted if they were rejected.

Yes, don't lie. It will turn your kid into a liar too. We know someone who did this and her daughter told EVERYONE she was WL for Sidwell. The girls were laughing at her behind her back because they all knew she didn't get in. It was sad because I knew it was probably her mom that told her that, so she was really innocent about it all.

Sounds like a lovely group of friends. Regardless, I think Sidwell is one of those schools that WL everyone at 9th, so she probably was WL and not rejected. I assumed it was a soft rejection when my DC was WL for 9th.

Middle school girls can be so lovely. Lemme guess... you were perfect and so are your kids.... everyone else has a problem...

Sidwell definitely does not WL every applicant

Meaning above they do send out rejection letters

[Anonymous]

It’s really hard if child gets no acceptances. Helps if you thought it might happen due to difficulty of getting into places you applied. Have a backup plan. Even if that means moving.

[Anonymous]

A realist will go far in life, OP. Teach your kid to always expect the unexpected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s really hard if child gets no acceptances. Helps if you thought it might happen due to difficulty of getting into places you applied. Have a backup plan. Even if that means moving.

For 9th grade applications, your HOS will find you a spot. They will work all their connections to get you off a waitlist or do a late application to get you in somewhere. It is part of their job. If you are coming from public school, I guess you are out of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We applied but now am scared we can’t afford the financial commitment! I am scared child will get in and have to explain the reverse of not being able to attend. I am trying to believe all will happen for a reason

If you’re not willing to pay, make the decision now. Tell your kid, then tell the school.

Why? Might as well see if you'll get aid. If you can't take a spot that you want for financial reasons, I see no reason to not just let the offer expire

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was pleasantly surprised how things worked out last year for 9th. Kids really seemed to get into the right schools for them.

I have a very different perspective. Kids and parents make the schools work - there is not necessarily a "right" schools for the kids. This was especially true last year because of increased demand. I'm sure a lot more kids would have been done extremely well at competitive schools than their was room to fit them or financial aid to support them. My kids both went k-8 to big 3s for what it's worth, so this is not sour grapes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started prepping our kids a few weeks ago, telling them the statistics we knew (like over 900 applicants to Bullis freshman class)

This is utter Bullishit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We applied but now am scared we can’t afford the financial commitment! I am scared child will get in and have to explain the reverse of not being able to attend. I am trying to believe all will happen for a reason

If you’re not willing to pay, make the decision now. Tell your kid, then tell the school.

This. If you definitely can't do it financially then pull your application. This is twofold. First some other child will be awarded a spot next week and not have to wait for your decline. Second if you hope to apply again in the future and you turn down an acceptance now you may be closing a door. Did you apply for financial aid? If you did wait and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was pleasantly surprised how things worked out last year for 9th. Kids really seemed to get into the right schools for them.

I have a very different perspective. Kids and parents make the schools work - there is not necessarily a "right" schools for the kids. This was especially true last year because of increased demand. I'm sure a lot more kids would have been done extremely well at competitive schools than their was room to fit them or financial aid to support them. My kids both went k-8 to big 3s for what it's worth, so this is not sour grapes.

It seems like your kids were in a good situation so it seems kind of judgmental for you to assume everything is so lucky for others. What you say is only true to a point. Some schools are not the best fit for some kids.
And no PP it does not work out for everyone
There are far more qualified and great applicants than there are spots at the best schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was pleasantly surprised how things worked out last year for 9th. Kids really seemed to get into the right schools for them.

I have a very different perspective. Kids and parents make the schools work - there is not necessarily a "right" schools for the kids. This was especially true last year because of increased demand. I'm sure a lot more kids would have been done extremely well at competitive schools than their was room to fit them or financial aid to support them. My kids both went k-8 to big 3s for what it's worth, so this is not sour grapes.

It seems like your kids were in a good situation so it seems kind of judgmental for you to assume everything is so lucky for others. What you say is only true to a point. Some schools are not the best fit for some kids.
And no PP it does not work out for everyone
There are far more qualified and great applicants than there are spots at the best schools.

We always talked up our MoCo public as a good fallback, if DS had no acceptances. DS was a better fit for private, but knew his parents went to public schools so it didn't seem like it would be the end of the world if he had to go to public. DS was either wait listed or rejected by several of the "Big X" downtown schools (attended a different private), but ended up going to one of the most selective ivies. The DC private school admission process was far more emotionally draining than the college application process (and at the end of the day, DS is much happier to have been rejected by prestigious DC privates and accepted at his college, rather than the other way around). Good luck to all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started prepping our kids a few weeks ago, telling them the statistics we knew (like over 900 applicants to Bullis freshman class), the idea of siblings and legacies, etc. I’m super glad we did because I don’t think we are getting in anywhere. I also started talking up the public option (we are inbound for Whitman). I think they will be ok when we get the rejections.

What?!?! Please tell me Bullis did not receive 900 applications for 9th grade.

Bullis has not received over 900 applications for 9th grade. Trust me on that fact.

I got that from an insider.