Play date turned babysitting - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

OP said she was overwhelmed by the idea of caring for two toddlers in a big public space. Don't you have any compassion?

Holy s*** you’re dramatic (and likely one of those I referred to with no friends). You’re the one who apparently didn’t read the thread because an in-home play date is clearly an option.

OP gets one day off every other week. It's fine if she doesn't want to babysit another 2 year old on that day.

It totally is. But if you’re this person, don’t expect anyone to watch your kid when you need it. And you will. I have an amazing support network and my friends - and yes neighbors who aren’t “friends” - do this for each other all the time. Does OP live in West Virginia? Going to the zoo with a 2-year-old is not an all day event. Help the neighbor in the morning and go to the zoo in the afternoon. The fact that this is a “post a WWYD on a moms forum” kind of question is truly baffling to me.

OP, do not help out this mom. She is fine in leaving her kid with you? Just no. She should have apologized but not made other plans. The suggestion for a home-playdate or taking her kid to the zoo, should have come from you. Drop this mom like a hot potato because she is a user and she will not be there to help you if you need help. Your instincts are correct. The helpful moms (SAHMs or WOHMs) show you who they are. Believe them.

[Anonymous]

Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% just say

"Oh, sounds like we should reschedule for another day."

If you want to soften it you could add:

"I actually had something come up myself so another day would be best on my end too."

She doesn't have to know that came up was her flakiness.

+ 1
Perfect.

Also, take your kid to the zoo. If you are found out, have a story ready - "Yes, I finished my appointment earlier and then decided to come to the zoo as well!"

WTF do you people lie? Just say no, you'll reschedule or find another activity to do.

This is not a lie. " Something came up "= user mom's flakiness, "Another appointment" = taking a bathroom break.

Yes, it is better for OP to carry on with her own day by saying "lets reschedule", but it is also smart to have a ready vague explanation to smooth things out.

Such toxic users very often will bad mouth you to others so it is always better to be vague about your plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

2 year olds don't play together. This is not the time to have playdates without parents. The people who scream about having a village are usually the users.

Your time is precious, so go take your kid to the zoo, and reschedule with the other parent. It seems that you do not have a strong relationship with the other mom, so this is not the time to do such favors. If you have a friendship with the mother and your frequently help each other out, sure, you could have thought of something. But, in your case, with your limited time with your kid, and because it is a pain to take care of two 2 year olds, I would pass. Also, please do not make this a SAHM/WOHM thing, because it is not. I am a SAHM and I would never leave my 2 yr old with someone and tell them to take my kid to the zoo. This is ridiculous.

This is a flake who will never help you.

[Anonymous]

I would happily do this with a 5 year old, but not with a 2 year old. Kids that age have fun together for about 3 out of every 20 minutes. Otherwise they are fighting or someone needs something.

[Anonymous]

For the people telling OP to just take the two two year olds to the zoo or have the kid over, do you remember what two year olds are like? They may still be in diapers, need a lot of attention, may require a double stroller or be held etc.

The instinct that the other mom is a taker stems from the fact that it is such a big imposition to OP. Even if someone offered to take my kid at two, I would be thankful but decline.

It does take a village but not a village of takers. You make a commitment and stick to it. The other mom is choosing another event and trying to dump her kid to op - not ok! Emergency, yes, but not for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

2 year olds don't play together. This is not the time to have playdates without parents. The people who scream about having a village are usually the users.

Your time is precious, so go take your kid to the zoo, and reschedule with the other parent. It seems that you do not have a strong relationship with the other mom, so this is not the time to do such favors. If you have a friendship with the mother and your frequently help each other out, sure, you could have thought of something. But, in your case, with your limited time with your kid, and because it is a pain to take care of two 2 year olds, I would pass. Also, please do not make this a SAHM/WOHM thing, because it is not. I am a SAHM and I would never leave my 2 yr old with someone and tell them to take my kid to the zoo. This is ridiculous.

This is a flake who will never help you.

Ha! So damn true.

The only mom who ever said this to me was trying to set up a carpool for our sons for sports practice. In her world, this involved me picking up her son, taking him to practice, then dropping him back home afterward.

Village indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

2 year olds don't play together. This is not the time to have playdates without parents. The people who scream about having a village are usually the users.

Your time is precious, so go take your kid to the zoo, and reschedule with the other parent. It seems that you do not have a strong relationship with the other mom, so this is not the time to do such favors. If you have a friendship with the mother and your frequently help each other out, sure, you could have thought of something. But, in your case, with your limited time with your kid, and because it is a pain to take care of two 2 year olds, I would pass. Also, please do not make this a SAHM/WOHM thing, because it is not. I am a SAHM and I would never leave my 2 yr old with someone and tell them to take my kid to the zoo. This is ridiculous.

This is a flake who will never help you.

Ha! So damn true.

The only mom who ever said this to me was trying to set up a carpool for our sons for sports practice. In her world, this involved me picking up her son, taking him to practice, then dropping him back home afterward.

Village indeed.

*just to clarify, she would not be driving to or from practice. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

2 year olds don't play together. This is not the time to have playdates without parents. The people who scream about having a village are usually the users.

Your time is precious, so go take your kid to the zoo, and reschedule with the other parent. It seems that you do not have a strong relationship with the other mom, so this is not the time to do such favors. If you have a friendship with the mother and your frequently help each other out, sure, you could have thought of something. But, in your case, with your limited time with your kid, and because it is a pain to take care of two 2 year olds, I would pass. Also, please do not make this a SAHM/WOHM thing, because it is not. I am a SAHM and I would never leave my 2 yr old with someone and tell them to take my kid to the zoo. This is ridiculous.

This is a flake who will never help you.

+100000
I learned this the hard way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

Have you been around a two year lately? Especially one who is not even your kid? Op is having fun, going to the zoo with her own child.

[Anonymous]

After reading this thread I better understand the reason for the state of the country today. You people just automatically jump to ill-intentions. Maybe you’ve been burned but you’re the equivalent of an abused dog who now just hates all men. No one knows this neighbor, and you’re jumping to all sorts of conclusions based on a couple sentences in a post. You’re just terrible people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

2 year olds don't play together. This is not the time to have playdates without parents. The people who scream about having a village are usually the users.

Your time is precious, so go take your kid to the zoo, and reschedule with the other parent. It seems that you do not have a strong relationship with the other mom, so this is not the time to do such favors. If you have a friendship with the mother and your frequently help each other out, sure, you could have thought of something. But, in your case, with your limited time with your kid, and because it is a pain to take care of two 2 year olds, I would pass. Also, please do not make this a SAHM/WOHM thing, because it is not. I am a SAHM and I would never leave my 2 yr old with someone and tell them to take my kid to the zoo. This is ridiculous.

This is a flake who will never help you.

I would bet a crisp $100 bill that poster has never watched two 2 year olds in a strange public place. What do you do when one of them decides they're too tired to walk? What happens when one runs off and gets lost? I see daycares taking kids to the park by the half dozen... with them strapped into a giant 6 seater stroller. There is a reason they do that. The fact the mom of that kid would even suggest that speaks volumes about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

at 2 years old my kid still
Used a stroller some of the time…. Do you just happen to have a double stroller laying around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh. If you really can't or don't want to do it, definitely say no but I just don't get that attitude. It takes a village, right? I would have had no problem taking to kids to the zoo. It's not that complicated and it's fun. But to each their own. If it's too much for you, why not have the child over? It would be nice for your child to have a playdate and then presumably at some other time the child's parent would reciprocate. Might come in handy. I don't understand this mine, mine, mine attitude. Why not a helping, enjoying, working together attitude. Also, really, stop thinking of child rearing as stressful. It's fun. Have fun. Go to the zoo.

at 2 years old my kid still
Used a stroller some of the time…. Do you just happen to have a double stroller laying around?

99.5% of 2 year olds and 80% of 3 year olds are going to need wheels at some point in a zoo outing.

[Anonymous]

Can’t believe I’m the first person to say that taking a 2-yr old to the zoo is not very stressful nor is even very exciting. All you have to do is give them a snack cup and push them around. They barely register big animals. My 2-yr old loved the rodent house but I don’t think that’s open right now. He also loved the big trash bins for some reason. But pandas? Could not have cared less. I’d much rather go with a friend or family member.

Have fun!