Play date turned babysitting - WWYD

[Anonymous]

Offer to reschedule. She probably knew this in advanced and deliberately did it for free babysitting. You'll know if she is willing to reschedule. Know several people like this.

[Anonymous]

She wanted a day off from her child. You wanted a day off with your child.

[Anonymous]

Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh that's too bad-let's just reschedule!"

+1

+2. Don’t even address her request for babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Let's reschedule!"

This. And just go on your own with your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

OP said she was overwhelmed by the idea of caring for two toddlers in a big public space. Don't you have any compassion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

OP said she was overwhelmed by the idea of caring for two toddlers in a big public space. Don't you have any compassion?

I was thinking the same thing as pp, but also that OP could just do the playdate at her house instead of the zoo.
With every other Friday off, it seemed to me that the zoo could be postponed to the next one.
But I understand that I am more flexible than a lot of people here on DCUM. It wouldn't be a big deal to me, but I am not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

OP said she was overwhelmed by the idea of caring for two toddlers in a big public space. Don't you have any compassion?

I was thinking the same thing as pp, but also that OP could just do the playdate at her house instead of the zoo.
With every other Friday off, it seemed to me that the zoo could be postponed to the next one.
But I understand that I am more flexible than a lot of people here on DCUM. It wouldn't be a big deal to me, but I am not OP.

This is babysitting, not a playdate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

It’s not. The type of person who would suggest you take her 2 year old to the zoo with her instead of going together or that casually suggests they “play at your house” will have these requests often. At some point, you’ll stop knowing if a plan they suggest is real, or a favor brewing. If I had to cancel, I’d just apologize and say we cannot make it. I wouldn’t suggest a neighbor take my 2 year old to the zoo or change her plans to accommodate me. And yes, I do have friends, and I don’t appreciate sneaking in favors like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

OP said she was overwhelmed by the idea of caring for two toddlers in a big public space. Don't you have any compassion?

Holy s*** you’re dramatic (and likely one of those I referred to with no friends). You’re the one who apparently didn’t read the thread because an in-home play date is clearly an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggest a reschedule and sorry she can’t make it, but you are your toddler still plan to go.

+1

Might add that you already mentioned it to your DC and he/she is looking forward to it.

No this is just rubbing it in her face. She doesn’t need to know your plans that day.

It's not rubbing it in her face when she's a SAHM that chose to do something else that day. She can take her kid to the zoo any day of the week!

[Anonymous]

Agree with posters about not giving a reason or even saying you’re going. “Bummer! Let’s reschedule.” Is all you have to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

OP said she was overwhelmed by the idea of caring for two toddlers in a big public space. Don't you have any compassion?

Holy s*** you’re dramatic (and likely one of those I referred to with no friends). You’re the one who apparently didn’t read the thread because an in-home play date is clearly an option.

OP gets one day off every other week. It's fine if she doesn't want to babysit another 2 year old on that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Won’t you need a favor someday returned? I don’t understand how some of y’all have any friends lol. It’s not a recurring thing, it’s one day where she needs help. If it becomes a recurring ask that’s when you draw a boundary. Or don’t, but then don’t post one of those threads I see on here all the time about not having family in the area to help. These people become your de facto family. Help them.

I get where you're coming from and I would agree with you if there was more of a preexisting relationship here. But my impression from the OP is that there isn't yet a friendship with this neighbor. When people request large non-essential favors at the very outset of a relationship, it is not likely to be a one-time thing. Watching someone else's toddler for several hours is a chore. And if the neighbor bails on a previously scheduled plan for a non-essential reason, then OP shouldn't expect to be able to rely on her for any kind of childcare favor in the future.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad, just tell her to reschedule for another day.

I wouldn't want to spend my day off babysitting another child either.