Personality traits that really push your buttons

[Anonymous]

Know it alls.

People who have to have an opinion on everything, and feel everyone needs to hear about that opinion.

Super emotional, dramatic and romantic types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are the same age and in a similar life stage as me but who insist on giving me advice constantly. Or who assume I’m looking for advice when I talk about an issue I’m having, when it should be very obvious to anyone paying attention that I was just telling you what was going on in my life when you asked “what’s new with you.”

A lot if middle aged women out here trying to be lifestyle gurus or something. No thank you, I just wanted a friend to complain about annoying sh!t with. Next!

Same! I thought it was just something about me that made people do this. I can’t stand it. I have a mother and 2 older sisters who insist on doing this, and I will tolerate it. Not from other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are the same age and in a similar life stage as me but who insist on giving me advice constantly. Or who assume I’m looking for advice when I talk about an issue I’m having, when it should be very obvious to anyone paying attention that I was just telling you what was going on in my life when you asked “what’s new with you.”

A lot if middle aged women out here trying to be lifestyle gurus or something. No thank you, I just wanted a friend to complain about annoying sh!t with. Next!

Same! I thought it was just something about me that made people do this. I can’t stand it. I have a mother and 2 older sisters who insist on doing this, and I will tolerate it. Not from other people.

PP here and I've often wondered if there is something about my appearance or demeanor that makes people think I want or need advice. My therapist actually coached me on saying "thanks, but not looking for advice" when people do this and that has helped some. But it's also made me realize that it's often not about me at all, because even when I say this, some people will respond "Oh of course, not trying to tell you what to do..." and then continue on with their advice. I think some people just don't know how to relate to other people except from a position of authority. I've notice people who give advice a lot also tend to have other traits that indicate they like to feel above others -- very judgmental, for instance, or often pontificating on things like politics or popular culture as though they are the only ones who read the news or watch movies or something.

Someone upthread joked about DC being a bad place for people who dislike know-it-all and braggarts, and I think this is part of that, too. Among white collar professionals in DC, there are many people who need to be considered a subject matter expert on everything, even stuff outside their field -- parenting, fashion, politics, where the best restaurants, where to vacation, etc. It's definitely a regional trait to some degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compulsive liars. Especially ones who don’t even come up with a plausible lie. It’s insulting to my intelligence.

I hate this and often it seems like a negative, destructive coping mechanism for their shortcomings. Did them, don’t make goofy lies about your mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Compulsive liars. Especially ones who don’t even come up with a plausible lie. It’s insulting to my intelligence.

I hate this and often it seems like a negative, destructive coping mechanism for their shortcomings. Did them, don’t make goofy lies about your mistakes.

Hypocrites. Women that say they are so 'pro-girl, feminism all the way' and yet have no qualms about sleeping with another woman's husband.

Women that have a phony social media presence that they are wonderful homemakers and mothers, but are nothing like that IRL.

Women that are blameless and everything they do is somebody else's fault or a 'bad place' they were in while taking zero personal responsibility.

People that claim to be empathetic, but live a life and do things that are the complete opposite of empathy.

[Anonymous]

Why all the “women” and not “people” , Pp?

Haven’t met any men that deflect and don’t take responsibility for their behaviors and actions?

[Anonymous]

Condescending tones/facial expressions.

My BIL loves to be condescending, mainly about religion or parenting. I think it’s a coping mechanism but it drives me crazy. Especially when he asks me what I think, I tell him, and he will say, “Hmm, you really believe that?” or “I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

Don’t engage me in conversation just to make yourself feel superior. I’d rather not discuss it at all. And definitely do not end the conversation by letting me know you’ll pray for me. I’m good.

[Anonymous]

People whose jobs are their identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Compulsive liars. Especially ones who don’t even come up with a plausible lie. It’s insulting to my intelligence.

I hate this and often it seems like a negative, destructive coping mechanism for their shortcomings. Did them, don’t make goofy lies about your mistakes.

I had a friend like this once and later she said that her lying had been a symptom of her ADHD. I can see how that could happen but I also get frustrated by how many really obnoxious, rude, or insulting behaviors can be explained away by ADHD. Like at some point I think you still have to take responsibility for it. You can't just go around compulsively lying to people all the time and then be like "oh that's just how my brain works I can't help it." There are consequences to this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why all the “women” and not “people” , Pp?

Haven’t met any men that deflect and don’t take responsibility for their behaviors and actions?

Certainly. But, I'm talking about the women that are all blah blah blah, sisterhood I'm so pro-women and yet do these things to other women. A woman constantly banging married men doesn't exactly have empathy for her fellow woman or 'sisterhood' in her blood. It's so damn hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

People who are loud. Loud talkers, etc...

People who are judgemental or braggy. Usually they are both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Compulsive liars. Especially ones who don’t even come up with a plausible lie. It’s insulting to my intelligence.

I hate this and often it seems like a negative, destructive coping mechanism for their shortcomings. Did them, don’t make goofy lies about your mistakes.

I had a friend like this once and later she said that her lying had been a symptom of her ADHD. I can see how that could happen but I also get frustrated by how many really obnoxious, rude, or insulting behaviors can be explained away by ADHD. Like at some point I think you still have to take responsibility for it. You can't just go around compulsively lying to people all the time and then be like "oh that's just how my brain works I can't help it." There are consequences to this stuff.

yeah, they burn through real friendships for sure. The fair-weathered friend who you can't believe a word out of their mouth. I always feel sorry for their spouses and kids, now that must be rough like crazy psychopath rough.

[Anonymous]

-cheapness
-chronic lateness

I'm leaving off the obvious ones like being negative or mean all the time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why all the “women” and not “people” , Pp?

Haven’t met any men that deflect and don’t take responsibility for their behaviors and actions?

Certainly. But, I'm talking about the women that are all blah blah blah, sisterhood I'm so pro-women and yet do these things to other women. A woman constantly banging married men doesn't exactly have empathy for her fellow woman or 'sisterhood' in her blood. It's so damn hypocritical.

This is a pet peeve of mine too and I don't even know any women who are sleeping with married men. But especially as being a vocal feminist has become "cooler" in recent years, I have met a lot of armchair feminists who don't really walk the walk and I find them tedious. The form it generally takes in my life is someone who will be very rah-rah about feminist issues online (like posting about the MeToo movement or equal pay) but in their personal life they are very gossipy, put down other women for classically misogynist reasons (their appearance or their mothering abilities) and just generally reinforce a lot of patriarchal ideas through their actions while wearing their bespoke "smash the patriarchy!" t-shirt and talking about attending the women's march. I've worked in feminist advocacy for two decades so I just cannot interact with people like this at this point. I will take their money for my cause and not politely, but then I need to get away from them because I think they are using feminism as some kind of social tool and it really bugs me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why all the “women” and not “people” , Pp?

Haven’t met any men that deflect and don’t take responsibility for their behaviors and actions?

Certainly. But, I'm talking about the women that are all blah blah blah, sisterhood I'm so pro-women and yet do these things to other women. A woman constantly banging married men doesn't exactly have empathy for her fellow woman or 'sisterhood' in her blood. It's so damn hypocritical.

This is a pet peeve of mine too and I don't even know any women who are sleeping with married men. But especially as being a vocal feminist has become "cooler" in recent years, I have met a lot of armchair feminists who don't really walk the walk and I find them tedious. The form it generally takes in my life is someone who will be very rah-rah about feminist issues online (like posting about the MeToo movement or equal pay) but in their personal life they are very gossipy, put down other women for classically misogynist reasons (their appearance or their mothering abilities) and just generally reinforce a lot of patriarchal ideas through their actions while wearing their bespoke "smash the patriarchy!" t-shirt and talking about attending the women's march. I've worked in feminist advocacy for two decades so I just cannot interact with people like this at this point. I will take their money for my cause and not politely, but then I need to get away from them because I think they are using feminism as some kind of social tool and it really bugs me.

Yes! That is exactly what I’m talking about.