Did I handle this wrong?

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

Oh calm your tits. If your MIL’s big crime was a fruit platter, you’re on the lucky end of the IL scale, and the parent scale for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

I asked her to bring dessert and anything else for the one child. No way he, a 3yo, was eating a 2x1 platter of fruit. SIL didn’t even bring anything extra for him. He had maybe six grapes and two strawberries.
Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

Did you people not read the OP?! OP doesn't normally host, but she offered since due to a kitchen remodel her ILs could not. She was very clear with the guests that it would be smaller. Apparently it would have been better for everyone if OP hadn't stepped up to try to ensure her ILs could all be together, since doing it in a pared down way just upsets everyone.

OP, you're fine. Maybe showing your stress was not the best, but it's also clear that you were doing this to help out...people should have been more sensitive. At the end of the day, it doesn't sound like there was a better solution for the fruit platter than you came up with. If you hadn't sighed, maybe your MIL wouldn't have complained...but probably she would have.

[Anonymous]

You clearly don’t want the answer, OP. So why ask the question?

No, you didn’t “handle it wrong,” but you sure didn’t handle it well. There are 10 ways I can think of easily that would have been more graceful, and you wouldn’t have even had to touch the platter to make some of them happen.

The more you post, the more obvious it is that your “oh me oh my what shall I do” over-the-top reaction was staged to make it clear that you were displeased, and to put MIL in her place.

She was wrong—but so were you. It’s obvious by now that you overplayed to the point of melodrama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don’t want the answer, OP. So why ask the question?

No, you didn’t “handle it wrong,” but you sure didn’t handle it well. There are 10 ways I can think of easily that would have been more graceful, and you wouldn’t have even had to touch the platter to make some of them happen.

The more you post, the more obvious it is that your “oh me oh my what shall I do” over-the-top reaction was staged to make it clear that you were displeased, and to put MIL in her place.

She was wrong—but so were you. It’s obvious by now that you overplayed to the point of melodrama.

Nothing dramatic at all about a 2’ wreath-shaped fruit platter, though. Raise your hand if you brought one to your gathering for the children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don’t want the answer, OP. So why ask the question?

No, you didn’t “handle it wrong,” but you sure didn’t handle it well. There are 10 ways I can think of easily that would have been more graceful, and you wouldn’t have even had to touch the platter to make some of them happen.

The more you post, the more obvious it is that your “oh me oh my what shall I do” over-the-top reaction was staged to make it clear that you were displeased, and to put MIL in her place.

She was wrong—but so were you. It’s obvious by now that you overplayed to the point of melodrama.

Nothing dramatic at all about a 2’ wreath-shaped fruit platter, though. Raise your hand if you brought one to your gathering for the children!

“Thanks, Mary! I’m going to put it in the garage until it’s time to eat. Oh, what’s that, you want to refrigerate the dip? OK, I’ll let you and Tim handle that while I check on the stuffing.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound high maintenance. I don’t think a small house requires food to be pared down, which sounds like what you were doing by managing expectations. You have a garage, so I don’t think your space is really that small. You also sound resentful that you had to host (for once).

Not OP but are you kidding? My sister lives in a much larger home than I do. She can serve three times the food I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

NP. No, now you're having a tantrum like a toddler. You've already admitted that you acted inappropriately. Own it and keep on going. Surely your SIL and MIL now realize you were over-stressed and acted out because of it. Just follow up with them, let them know you were wrong and let bygones be bygones. Don't let the posters goad you into taking a stance that makes this little molehill into a huge mountain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

I asked her to bring dessert and anything else for the one child. No way he, a 3yo, was eating a 2x1 platter of fruit. SIL didn’t even bring anything extra for him. He had maybe six grapes and two strawberries.
Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

Are you aware that fruit can be a dessert OP? Did you tell her to bring a 1' or under dessert? Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

I asked her to bring dessert and anything else for the one child. No way he, a 3yo, was eating a 2x1 platter of fruit. SIL didn’t even bring anything extra for him. He had maybe six grapes and two strawberries.
Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

Are you aware that fruit can be a dessert OP? Did you tell her to bring a 1' or under dessert? Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?

She brought a dessert, and she brought this, “for the kids”. I’m done arguing now. I was rude, but I’m armed if it happens again, thanks everyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

I asked her to bring dessert and anything else for the one child. No way he, a 3yo, was eating a 2x1 platter of fruit. SIL didn’t even bring anything extra for him. He had maybe six grapes and two strawberries.
Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

Are you aware that fruit can be a dessert OP? Did you tell her to bring a 1' or under dessert? Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?

Especially fruit with a specific fruit dip. That is a dessert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

I asked her to bring dessert and anything else for the one child. No way he, a 3yo, was eating a 2x1 platter of fruit. SIL didn’t even bring anything extra for him. He had maybe six grapes and two strawberries.
Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

Are you aware that fruit can be a dessert OP? Did you tell her to bring a 1' or under dessert? Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?

She brought a dessert, and she brought this, “for the kids”. I’m done arguing now. I was rude, but I’m armed if it happens again, thanks everyone!

Like you won’t keep sock puppeting.

MIL shouldn’t have brought it, but you really blew it out of proportion. Likely because you are self-conscious about your small house and your anxiety about hosting. It’s OK, OP. Some people are cut out for hosting, and some aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

I asked her to bring dessert and anything else for the one child. No way he, a 3yo, was eating a 2x1 platter of fruit. SIL didn’t even bring anything extra for him. He had maybe six grapes and two strawberries.
Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

Are you aware that fruit can be a dessert OP? Did you tell her to bring a 1' or under dessert? Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?

She brought a dessert, and she brought this, “for the kids”. I’m done arguing now. I was rude, but I’m armed if it happens again, thanks everyone!

I didn't realize that she brought both. It's not in your OP.

It makes more sense now. But I still think she did not mean to offend you. Perhaps SIL told her to bring something for the picky kid. You are both human. She brought too much OP, but you were stressed and overeacted. Let it go. I don't think you can completely prevent misunderstandings. They happen all the time. You have to look past them and make up with your loved ones. She will get over it, and so will you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

I asked her to bring dessert and anything else for the one child. No way he, a 3yo, was eating a 2x1 platter of fruit. SIL didn’t even bring anything extra for him. He had maybe six grapes and two strawberries.
Yes, don't host next time. You shouldn't be hosting if a little more food (which you said they could bring) would throw you off your game.

Are you aware that fruit can be a dessert OP? Did you tell her to bring a 1' or under dessert? Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?

She brought a dessert, and she brought this, “for the kids”. I’m done arguing now. I was rude, but I’m armed if it happens again, thanks everyone!

I didn't realize that she brought both. It's not in your OP.

It makes more sense now. But I still think she did not mean to offend you. Perhaps SIL told her to bring something for the picky kid. You are both human. She brought too much OP, but you were stressed and overeacted. Let it go. I don't think you can completely prevent misunderstandings. They happen all the time. You have to look past them and make up with your loved ones. She will get over it, and so will you.

It’s not in the original post because OP doesn’t like the feedback she’s getting. Backtrack!