Did I handle this wrong?

[Anonymous]

Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound high maintenance. I don’t think a small house requires food to be pared down, which sounds like what you were doing by managing expectations. You have a garage, so I don’t think your space is really that small. You also sound resentful that you had to host (for once).

Yep!

Why did you host? If a unexpected fruit platter can annoy you, you sound like you are too stressed to host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

We hosted large gatherings with multiple courses in our small townhome. Amount of food doesn't have anything to do with the size of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

Then don't host in your small space. She asked MIL and SIL to bring something. MIL did, and she got annoyed. It's all very high maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound high maintenance. I don’t think a small house requires food to be pared down, which sounds like what you were doing by managing expectations. You have a garage, so I don’t think your space is really that small. You also sound resentful that you had to host (for once).

Yep!

Why did you host? If a unexpected fruit platter can annoy you, you sound like you are too stressed to host.

She probably was. Considering the circumstances, she did the family a solid and they should have been more accommodating to her as a host trying her best to make the holiday happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

Then don't host in your small space. She asked MIL and SIL to bring something. MIL did, and she got annoyed. It's all very high maintenance.

See, you’re sounding stupid again. What person would understand the situation and think it wise to bring along a 2’ platter of fruit? I’m sure she’s been to the house before and knew it would pose a problem. That is passive aggressive and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll try to make this as concise as possible. Here goes!

We hosted a small gathering this year. We don’t typically host, our house is small so ILs always host. Because they are in the middle of some kitchen remediations, we offered to host them and in-town BIL and SIL and their three kids for dinner. We let everyone know that while we were more than happy to host, because of space constraints, it wouldn’t be the same spread ILs offer, but we’d make the most of it; small would be better than nothing at all, which was the alternative.

We cooked a smaller spread but everything was nice. We even had special offerings that were catered towards the children. We let ILs know ahead of time what would be on the menu, to let SIL know in case she wanted to bring something additional for her one picky child. ILs asked what to bring, we told them a dessert would be nice, and thought all was well.

ILs show up and MIL has this large sale platter of fruit with yogurt dip, and requests we refrigerate it, it’s for SILs kids, because they like fruit with each meal. Short on space, we sort of disassembled the thing so we could put the dip in the fridge, and then put the covered fruit in our unheated garage to stay cold, letting SIL know where everything was so she could prepare it for her kids if needed, also letting the room know, if they wished to have fruit. I’ll admit, I was kind of annoyed to have to deal with the thing, especially considering I was already stressed trying to make a nice dinner for DH family in our small house.

Well, this upset MIL who called ME unappreciative and rude for “attacking” her with my anger as we “ruined” her fruit platter by leaving it in the garage and taking it apart. DH tried his best to talk her down, but she’s still really upset about it, according to SIL who DH had coffee with this AM. Did I handle this wrong?

Are you going to tell us what you said to her, or are you going to pretend she completely made the bolded up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

Then don't host in your small space. She asked MIL and SIL to bring something. MIL did, and she got annoyed. It's all very high maintenance.

See, you’re sounding stupid again. What person would understand the situation and think it wise to bring along a 2’ platter of fruit? I’m sure she’s been to the house before and knew it would pose a problem. That is passive aggressive and you know it.

i am not the earlier PP. Again, there is nothing to understand. If you don't have room for a large food platter, don't host. Or don't ask MIL or SIL to bring anything. Maybe OP should have specified the dimensions for the dish they could bring. Some of you have no business hosting. You are absurd.

[Anonymous]

My MIL always show up with food. It is her culture and I always find it stressful finding where to store it in my already packed fridge. No solution, just empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

Then don't host in your small space. She asked MIL and SIL to bring something. MIL did, and she got annoyed. It's all very high maintenance.

See, you’re sounding stupid again. What person would understand the situation and think it wise to bring along a 2’ platter of fruit? I’m sure she’s been to the house before and knew it would pose a problem. That is passive aggressive and you know it.

i am not the earlier PP. Again, there is nothing to understand. If you don't have room for a large food platter, don't host. Or don't ask MIL or SIL to bring anything. Maybe OP should have specified the dimensions for the dish they could bring. Some of you have no business hosting. You are absurd.

What’s absurd is people like you who are terrible entitled guests thinking you get to needlessly disrupt other people’s preparations. Do you not know how to bring something appropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound high maintenance. I don’t think a small house requires food to be pared down, which sounds like what you were doing by managing expectations. You have a garage, so I don’t think your space is really that small. You also sound resentful that you had to host (for once).

It’s fine if you’re going to troll a post, but at least make sense. It’s ridiculous to claim that one could host 7 people the exact same way in a 1000sf apartment as they could in a larger home. That’s ridiculous.

They have a garage. They don’t have an apartment!

I have lived in a condo that had tiny rooms and a kitchen where you could stand in the middle, reach out and touch the appliances on each wall. The amount of counter space was microscopic.

It also had a one car garage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

m

Any house with a GARAGE a would have more space than a townhouse with a galley kitchen. You sound dim.

OP here. We have a one-car garage, 968sf, two bedrooms, one bath, an eat-in kitchen. I was just trying to be kind and make Christmas happen for DHs family since their parents kitchen was ruined after a burst pipe. Next time I won’t try so hard, since no good deed goes unpunished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Small house doesn't mean small spread. Not sure why you made such a big deal about that.

I do think you could've been more gracious about the fruit platter but mil is obviously overreacting.

I don’t understand why so many don’t understand this. Such entitlement.

Bigger house usually means more space to serve apps first, a dishwasher to clean those plates before dinner, more buffet or dining space to serve more options family style. More counter space.

Why this is confusing I don’t understand. I think back to Thanksgiving when we had a townhouse with galley kitchen. We had to serve food on card tables set up in the front hallway. Yeah, our “spread” was smaller. Now we have a larger kitchen with huge island and breakfast nook. I load up the island and breakfast table with the food and we eat in the dining room. For a group that claims to be smart, sometimes you all come across as very dumb.

Then don't host in your small space. She asked MIL and SIL to bring something. MIL did, and she got annoyed. It's all very high maintenance.

See, you’re sounding stupid again. What person would understand the situation and think it wise to bring along a 2’ platter of fruit? I’m sure she’s been to the house before and knew it would pose a problem. That is passive aggressive and you know it.

i am not the earlier PP. Again, there is nothing to understand. If you don't have room for a large food platter, don't host. Or don't ask MIL or SIL to bring anything. Maybe OP should have specified the dimensions for the dish they could bring. Some of you have no business hosting. You are absurd.

What’s absurd is people like you who are terrible entitled guests thinking you get to needlessly disrupt other people’s preparations. Do you not know how to bring something appropriate?

She asked MIL to bring desert and she asked her SIL to bring food. Why do so if you have no space? How are they being terrible guests?