Wwyd - fil just giving cash to 4yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least you recognize you’re controlling.

+1. Unclench.

The harder you push back here the harder the grandparents are going to dig in and figure out ways to make you crazy while they spoil the kids.

Use their generosity to teach your own kids generosity. Have your kids donate or give away toys a few times a year. Start a savings account for the math money - show your kid how the money adds up.

As long as the in-laws aren't endangering the kids, asking the kids to keep secrets from you, or are teaching them something really at odds with values or morals, let it goooooo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - ok thanks for the feedback. They drive me nuts bc they alone bring over 70 toy gifts a year into our house and I’m left dealing with it all. FIL literally said he wanted more excitement out of 4yo “so let’s see what money will do!!” And started doing this on the last day. 4yo is very good with math and does actually appreciate how much this is (because he saves up quarters to buy things like new sticker books and literally the first words out of his mouth were “wow now I don’t have to do my chore chart!!!”). FIL framed it to 4yo as “money do you can just buy all the things you want” so appreciate all the input that I don’t actually have to leave $100s for my kid to blow at the toy store every visit and can allocate most of it to savings for DS instead. I’ll drop trying to stop it

I think the problem is that you're rewarding him money for chores. My kids do chores and also get an allowance. They're separate. Chores are what you do as part of this family and allowance is to thank you for being a good member of the family.

This part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - ok thanks for the feedback. They drive me nuts bc they alone bring over 70 toy gifts a year into our house and I’m left dealing with it all. FIL literally said he wanted more excitement out of 4yo “so let’s see what money will do!!” And started doing this on the last day. 4yo is very good with math and does actually appreciate how much this is (because he saves up quarters to buy things like new sticker books and literally the first words out of his mouth were “wow now I don’t have to do my chore chart!!!”). FIL framed it to 4yo as “money do you can just buy all the things you want” so appreciate all the input that I don’t actually have to leave $100s for my kid to blow at the toy store every visit and can allocate most of it to savings for DS instead. I’ll drop trying to stop it

I think the problem is that you're rewarding him money for chores. My kids do chores and also get an allowance. They're separate. Chores are what you do as part of this family and allowance is to thank you for being a good member of the family.

YES! I don't get paid for doing the laundry, my husband doesn't get paid to make dinner, so children do chores as part of living in our home and being part of our family. Set table, feed cat, make bed, clear dishes and put dishwasher, etc. Then they also get an allowance, and we teach to save some, give some and spend some. This helps them learn the importance of money, planning to use it, saving, etc for when they are adults.

If we did extra things around d the house as a one off, my mother would pay us (weed this garden bed) and I plan to do that, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take all the money away from DS except like $10. Put it in his piggy bank or whatever your household does with kid money. Some to spend, save, and donate - but keep the "some to spend" in line with what you're comfortable with and what the 3 year old has access to.

At age 4 you could put 100% into the piggy bank/savings/etc. Or take your kid out for ice cream with his $ from grandpa, and put the rest in their bank account.

+1

Love the idea of letting him buy something small (like an ice cream) with the money and then putting the rest in his piggy bank.