Wwyd - fil just giving cash to 4yo

[Anonymous]

You’re waaaaay too controlling, OP! Geez. Let grandpa give his grandkids $60. Trust me, it won’t ruin them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's fine. Kid will compartmentalize the $10 vs. quarters. Buy kid a cute piggy bank to put his tens in. Take him to open a bank account and deposit the money from his bank.

Great teaching opportunity, OP. Personal finance, math skills, delayed gratification. Never too early. My mom started taking me to the library as an infant.

+1. I still remember my mother doing this with me.

[Anonymous]

That actually sounds like FIL and 4 year old are having fun! $60 is a whole lot better than crappy gifts. Start keeping track of the money and deposit it in an account for the little.one, then put it towards a college fund or something.

[Anonymous]

If you pay your kids to do everything, what's the issue with someone else doing it.

Put the money in the college fund. I'd love grandparents to do that. I'd never pay my kids to do things. Its part of being a family.

[Anonymous]

Let him spoil the kids!

[Anonymous]

I think this is a great idea of the grandfather and the perfect opportunity to create a savings account for the child and let him watch it grow online.

You need to relax a bit OP. It really is ok for the grandparent to spoil and if it’s going to happen, cash is the best way because you don’t have a lot of stuff filling the house.

[Anonymous]

You are being ridiculous. There is no reason to do anything about it than start a piggy bank or savings for your kid.
What a great grandpa and how odd to think he is doing this as some weird compensation for kid not liking the presents and grandpa not getting "enough of a reaction."

[Anonymous]

My parents did this and still mom does it, as does my FIL. Kids are not in college. We put the money into kids' savings, as my parents were known to give them a few hundred. By the time they were 17, they have a few thousand in savings.
DD would spend it and DS saved and saved, so he has 10K in savings when combined with his summer jobs.
We are not rich and the extravagant gift giving that dcumers talks about is not within reach for grandparents in our family. I still think having 10K when you are finishing college from random gifts is pretty great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In-laws visit several times a year and each time bring 2-3 gifts for each of our 3 kids (plus do gifts for all kids on every kids bday, several for each at xmas etc). It drives me nuts…mainly bc I hate dealing with all the junk and my 4yo (oldest) is aware enough that I can’t just make things disappear.

4yo wasn’t impressed enough with gifts this time to delight FIL so he started giving DS easy math questions and giving him $10 for every correct answer. I think in total he gave him like $60 in case and said from now on every day he’s here 4yo would get Qs for money.

Our household economy runs on quarters for rewards and things….giving $60 to a 4yo in one day for dumb questions and planning to do that every day of visits from now on is just crazy right? I want to shut it down but is that too controlling (my fil is the type who would just try to hide it then bc he has mindset of “I worked hard and can spoil MY grandkids if I want to and mom won’t get in the way”). If you wouldn’t shut it down, what would you do with a 4yo suddenly having $100s of cash after visits????

Fwiw we don’t need the money for anything - we have plenty so this isn’t a weird way to try to give us money to buy stuff for the kids. They have way too much stuff as is

Why do you want to shut it down? Why is it crazy?
Yes, you are being too controlling, and why would he just hide it when he was doing it openly so far?
And what is with ???? in your post?
You are the one that sounds crazy and yes controlling.
What an awesome grandpa.

[Anonymous]

I'm a grandparent that gifts alot and it comes from a good place and dd knows that and doesn't mind since it makes me happy and my grandsons like there new toys or clothes.

It's not a big deal just put the money away and save it for when the kids are older. If this is your issue to vent about you are very lucky and really should reconsider and think about how lucky you are to have parents that want to spoil there grandkids. Not everything has to be you controlling what everyone does but just enjoy them enjoying the kids.

[Anonymous]

I would make a fun project with the kids to set up a 529, brokerage account, or savings account with the money. You can teach them about compounding interest, stock market investing, or planning for college while keeping the money separate and special. This will make it feel more like a gift and also keep it from interfering with your quarter-based reward system.

Alternatively, you could let your kid use some of the money to buy a toy and then work with him to find a charity that he likes to donate the rest. Again, preserve the gift but also turn it into a teaching opportunity.

[Anonymous]

How about you save most of it but let him buy books with a small portion of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re waaaaay too controlling, OP! Geez. Let grandpa give his grandkids $60. Trust me, it won’t ruin them.

DCUM in a nutshell.
Lighten up people! You only live once. Life is short. Let FIL and the kid have some fun.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others who said let it happen. It is actually quite adorable.

Is it a disproportionate amount of money for a 4yo? Yes. Does it matter? No.

A 4yo has no concept of how much money that is. They don't know what things cost. It is simply a prize for getting something right. You could choose to use it as a learning opportunity, as others have said.

This is not a situation that needs intervention. In fact is it incredibly cute grandpa/grandchild interaction that your child will look back on fondly one day, any maybe even do it with their own grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Oh this would drive me nuts, OP, because it goes against my values. But I think you have to accept it. Set the money aside for college or donate it to a kids’ charity.