Who is the jerk?

[Anonymous]

Your brother and your mother are jackasses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom and brother are a-holes, for sure.

ADHD is different than a-holery.

This x1000. My DH has (unmedicated) ADHD. He'd never do this, and about half the $h!t I read on here. He's not a jacka@@. Which is not related to ADHD but upbringing, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Could be ADHD bc part of it is poor impulse control.

But OP should have slapped his had away from the picking and told him he was being disgusting and made him feel like ashamed and if her mother stood up for her brother she should have belittled her too. Shame works. Use it more often in situations like this.

[Anonymous]

Your brother and SIL’s marriage will not last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother and SIL’s marriage will not last.

OP here. I sincerely hope it doesn’t. I was appalled when such a smart, beautiful woman decided to waste herself on my brother. I felt so bad feeling that way, but my parents coddled all of my brother’s worst personality traits. It was a relief to me and my other siblings when he left home.

[Anonymous]

Brother is the ahole and your mom doesn't want to admit it. Maybe a life long pattern that resulted in him being the way he is today?

[Anonymous]

PS OP I would not intervene. It is their marriage and you cannot get in the middle of this. However I would send her a lovely thank you note as other suggested. Maybe an invite for coffee where you can tell her you are sorry about what happened. But you can't change your brother or her decision to be with him nor should you weigh in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL has various health issues, but always makes an effort to put together great holidays and do all the cooking in order to create memories. My brother is a complainer and malingerer, who does the bare minimum. I love him, but that’s the truth.

So, SIL made a beautiful turkey with all the bells and whistles. While it was cooling, my bro started to pick at it and eat pieces around the edges. SIL told him to stop and wait for her to take a photo of it, set the table, and for everyone to get a chance to eat too. SIL then went to take a shower. While she was in the shower, my brother ripped a huge piece off the leg. It was glaring and jagged.

Now, my brother has always been greedy and selfish, so I admit that colors my opinion here. SIL had served us lunch just a couple hours before and my bro was definitely hungry. He was just being greedy. When I saw him grab that piece, I was aghast. I stayed out of it though.

SIL finished dressing and came out to set the table and take out the food. And then she saw the ripped turkey leg and absolutely lost it on my brother. She was LIVID. I didn’t know what to say and my mom was trying to justify what she described as my brother “opting” to eat ahead of everyone else. It was a very awkward dinner.

I am furious with my brother for being so greedy, selfish, and thoughtless. I would have screamed at him too if he had left a turkey I cooked looking like a wild animal bit it even before it made it to the table. My mom thinks my SIL should have kept her cool and is trying to get me to stop speaking with her.

Who’s the asshole here?

You're bro is the ahole. What a dick thing to do.