Who is the jerk?

[Anonymous]

Your mom and brother are a-holes, for sure.

ADHD is different than a-holery.

[Anonymous]

Brother is a jerk, mom is the one who enables him being a jerk.

I would have just ignored it and forced him to stand in front of the turkey for a picture of the two turkeys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother was in the wrong and what he did is quite disgusting. Your mom needs to mhob and stop justifying what he did as not wrong. If I were you I would stand up for sil.

X a million. Honestly, if she pulled the silent treatment for the entire day I’d have her back and send her a generous spa gift certificate with a hand written and gushing thank you to try to make up for the horrible manners of the rest of my family.

I see no way your sister be the a$$ here. That finger is squarely pointed at your brother and mother.

[Anonymous]

Your brother is a jackass, probably in no small part because your mother raised him that way. Stand up for your SIL and make sure she knows you have her back - it’s the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Your brother is an a-hole and your mom is enabling him (but you know that). I wish that you had said something to him while he was doing it AND I wish that you had stood up for your SIL when she understandably got angry with your brother. Your brother needs to know he was wrong on all counts. I am sorry for your SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is a jackass, probably in no small part because your mother raised him that way. Stand up for your SIL and make sure she knows you have her back - it’s the right thing to do.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is an a-hole and your mom is enabling him (but you know that). I wish that you had said something to him while he was doing it AND I wish that you had stood up for your SIL when she understandably got angry with your brother. Your brother needs to know he was wrong on all counts. I am sorry for your SIL.

100% agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom and brother suck.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is a jackass, probably in no small part because your mother raised him that way. Stand up for your SIL and make sure she knows you have her back - it’s the right thing to do.

+1

Agree. You have a duty to chime in.

[Anonymous]

Your brother and your mother are equally a-holes. Send a thank you not to your SIL and apologize for not backing her up, and commit to backing her up in the future. Then I'd have a talk with my mom about her enabling him to act like a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Brother is the biggest a-hole, mom is runner up.

I was married to someone like your brother and the ONLY thing that kept him in line is on the rare occasion his mother would say something. Usually she stayed out of it, but when she spoke, I was so, SO grateful. Your mom wouldn't have even had to do much, just a "you should not have done that. Where did I go wrong in raising you that you think that behavior is acceptable?" A little bit of mom guilt can go a LONG way.

I think it would be kind for you to reach out to your SIL with something like "Sorry he did that. I know you're struggling and that his thoughtless behavior must make things a million times harder".

Np. Why should op apologize? It is the husband who did her wrong. I would tell her she had every reason to yell and be upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brother is the biggest a-hole, mom is runner up.

I was married to someone like your brother and the ONLY thing that kept him in line is on the rare occasion his mother would say something. Usually she stayed out of it, but when she spoke, I was so, SO grateful. Your mom wouldn't have even had to do much, just a "you should not have done that. Where did I go wrong in raising you that you think that behavior is acceptable?" A little bit of mom guilt can go a LONG way.

I think it would be kind for you to reach out to your SIL with something like "Sorry he did that. I know you're struggling and that his thoughtless behavior must make things a million times harder".

Np. Why should op apologize? It is the husband who did her wrong. I would tell her she had every reason to yell and be upset.

It's not an apology, it's "sorry" in the same way we say "sorry for your loss". No one is actually apologizing for a death, it's a way of showing sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of my DD’s first birthday. I had a gorgeous cake made. My mom was sticking her finger in the frosting along the bottom and trying to encourage my son (about 3) to do the same. Fortunately, I missed it, but my MIL had to intervene and tell my mom to knock it off. Damage was done though and was pretty visible when we finally did candles and singing and all the photos. I have no idea what my mom was thinking, as she is usually over the top with old school manners. This was both rude and gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother is an a-hole and your mom is enabling him (but you know that). I wish that you had said something to him while he was doing it AND I wish that you had stood up for your SIL when she understandably got angry with your brother. Your brother needs to know he was wrong on all counts. I am sorry for your SIL.

100% agree.

This. I would have absolutely told him to stop. And I would have backed her up when she lost her sh!t when she saw he had ripped the turkey leg off.

What a jerk.

[Anonymous]

You mom and your brother. Hope ur not like them.