Is your spouse a foundational person in you life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend, lover, father of my children? Absolutely!

+1 same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend, lover, father of my children? Absolutely!

+1 same.

+1!

[Anonymous]

Yes, all of our parents are dead and family is friendly but not foundational.

[Anonymous]

Pre-covid, no. My spouse was more like a romantic interest/roommate. We'd go to work, go out to separate happy hours and social events, and come home to each other. Post covid, it is very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only in the most negative sense is my now ex spouse the foundational person in my life. The trauma and abuse I experienced derailed my life, and in that sense he was foundational. My future life will now be built on a foundation of recovery from that trauma and the consequences of his abuse. Wish I had not been raised with the idea that marriage is about falling in love and finding the “one”.

I will teach my kids very differently - love is a spark that can be nurtured or extinguished. Be very aware of the type of person you nurture that spark with. For long term stable happy marriage you need to be in love AND with a person without active addictions, personality disorder, untreated mental illness and who is mature, independent, nurturing, responsible and honest. When you get involved with someone, watch their behavior closely over an extended period of time and be willing to draw firm boundaries and exit without hesitation upon negative behavior.

This. Same boat.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We met at 20 and have grown together for 30 years. I hope we have 30 more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses in here are nauseating.

I know. I can't believe how much some of you hate your spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in here are nauseating.

I know. I can't believe how much some of you hate your spouses.

I don't hate my husband. We don't have a shitty marriage. I don't have attachment issues. I simply think the concept of a foundational person and your spouse being one are total crap and sounds like Prince Charming Disney Fairytale bullshit that little girls believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in here are nauseating.

I know. I can't believe how much some of you hate your spouses.

I don't hate my husband. We don't have a shitty marriage. I don't have attachment issues. I simply think the concept of a foundational person and your spouse being one are total crap and sounds like Prince Charming Disney Fairytale bullshit that little girls believe.

+1. It’s another way of thinking about the “one”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in here are nauseating.

I know. I can't believe how much some of you hate your spouses.

I don't hate my husband. We don't have a shitty marriage. I don't have attachment issues. I simply think the concept of a foundational person and your spouse being one are total crap and sounds like Prince Charming Disney Fairytale bullshit that little girls believe.

+1. It’s another way of thinking about the “one”.

Nahh y’all just sound bitter. No one said “the one” or a “soulmate.” Just a lot of gratitude to have someone who fully supports you, loves you, and wants the best for you. It’s awesome to have a partner that inspires you cheers you on. Haters gonna hate tho!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in here are nauseating.

I know. I can't believe how much some of you hate your spouses.

I don't hate my husband. We don't have a shitty marriage. I don't have attachment issues. I simply think the concept of a foundational person and your spouse being one are total crap and sounds like Prince Charming Disney Fairytale bullshit that little girls believe.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses in here are nauseating.

I know. I can't believe how much some of you hate your spouses.

I don't hate my husband. We don't have a shitty marriage. I don't have attachment issues. I simply think the concept of a foundational person and your spouse being one are total crap and sounds like Prince Charming Disney Fairytale bullshit that little girls believe.

+1. It’s another way of thinking about the “one”.

Nahh y’all just sound bitter. No one said “the one” or a “soulmate.” Just a lot of gratitude to have someone who fully supports you, loves you, and wants the best for you. It’s awesome to have a partner that inspires you cheers you on. Haters gonna hate tho!

None of that makes a person foundational. But using words like bitter and haters gonna hate does confirm the whole emotionally stunted opinion.