Reply to Is your spouse a foundational person in you life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Only in the most negative sense is my now ex spouse the foundational person in my life.  The trauma and abuse I experienced derailed my life, and in that sense he was foundational.  My future life will now be built on a foundation of recovery from that trauma and the consequences of his abuse.  Wish I had not been raised with the idea that marriage is about falling in love and finding the “one”.

I will teach my kids very differently - love is a spark that can be nurtured or extinguished.  Be very aware of the type of person you nurture that spark with.  For long term stable happy marriage you need to be in love AND with a person without active addictions, personality disorder, untreated mental illness and who is mature, independent, nurturing, responsible and honest.  When you get involved with someone, watch their behavior closely over an extended period of time and be willing to draw firm boundaries and exit without hesitation upon negative behavior. [/quote]

This. Same boat.[/quote]

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