Post suicide attempt, coming home, help me make home safer

[Anonymous]

PPs, just letting you know there's another stranger out here sending good thoughts your way.

Also letting you know that I have a relative, now in her 20s, who was suicidal and diagnosed with bpd as a teen. She's now on medication but is happy, graduated college with a 4.0 and in a fully funded grad program with several years abroad under her belt. Sharing only to let you know that there is hope for a brighter future, even if the road to get there is hard.

[Anonymous]

An alarm on window and probably some camera in the bath. I know that this is antimoral, but can help you. AS well as you should close all the drugs

[Anonymous]

Belts and shoe laces need to be locked up - I didn’t see that mentioned yet. Lighters, matches, and candles as well. Tools in the garage, saws, axes, etc. It’s impossible to create a completely “safe house”, but we do our best.

In PHP, goals and “contracts” were written. Full body checks daily. Sleep with door open or with a parent. Shower with door cracked/or with a parent present. No longer a front seat passenger - had to sit in back seat due to ideation of crashing the vehicle/taking over the steering wheel to crash the car.

Eating disorders / disordered eating is common among this population. I was not aware my son had disordered eating until it was revealed in PHP.

Sending you love and support, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I’m sorry. It’s a tough place to be in. Definitely start the IEP process. It takes awhile to get it in place and might not even be in place before this PHP. So you might need to informally work with counselors to make sure school work is sent to the PHP if they request it. You might also need the equivalent of home and hospital services if your daughter is capable.

As to IEP services for PHP, it will depend on what type of PHP - daily during the school day, after school?

You will also need supports for going back to school. Will you need a special placement or can she return to her home school - that will have to be decided.

There are things like a flash pass and extra time which are pretty generic to everyone. But the specifics of her plan are going to depend on her condition. Most important thing is to get the IEP ball rolling. It was a long process for us because things had to keep getting moved due to frequent hospitalizations. It took four extra months to get a plan in place.

Thanks for this. What are home and hospital services that could be available? Do I speak with the hospital's social worker when we start discussing discharge?

The PHP I am looking at is during the school day. I had hoped with her first hospitalization that it would be after school, but with a second hospitalization less than a week later, I'm thinking she needs more intensive treatment. I do not know if she will be allowed to return to her home school. She threatened suicide at school and had a plan. Does anyone know the point at which MCPS would say she needs a special placement? She is pretty popular in school and very athletic so leaving the school for a different one would add to her anxiety.

She already has a 504 with the flash pass and extra time. What other items should I be considering?

PP here. The home and hospital services are through your school. Talk to your counselor. I can't remember exactly what it's called, but I think IIS. It's a pretty easy process to get it in place. Whether it works is a different story. I thought the teachers worked really hard to make it successful for my child, but really it never went anywhere because my child was able to access this service.

You really need to get to work on an IEP. You most likely have the prerequisites for an ED qualification. If there is any possibility of a learning disability as well, this would be a good time to evaluate that. We did it through private testing but MCPS will do testing as well. Let your school counselor know you need her to be evaluated for an IEP.

I am a MCPS parent whose child tried to commit suicide in school twice - two different schools in two different years, one of which was a special ED placement. MCPS has some pretty great programs for kids with mental health issues. At the MS level, you have SESES, Bridge and RICA. At the HS level there is also ESESES. If none of these work, you might be able to get an outside placement, but the school only pays for the school portion of the services. You would be responsible for everything else - the residential and medical portions. Your health insurance might help.

I did opt for some residential services for my child and I was on my own. The crisis was real - I mean they tried to kill themselves in the bathroom when they had intensive services - and I didn't have time to work through the process to try to get school funding. MCPS made it clear that they would not assist in paying for any of my child's care or outside educational services, but they were great about working with the residential programs to be sure that my child maximized the schooling options and got enough credits so as not to fall behind grade level. I don't know if I could have hoped for better given that everything is a process and it didn't feel like we had the luxury of taking the time to jump through the hoops. No regrets.

One last thought. I know it seems like leaving her school would exacerbate her anxiety. But that might be your projection and not her reality. As parents, we want our kids to succeed in the environment and trajectory that we always saw for them. But when mental illness changes the course, we need to change the way we look at the future. When your child has a suicide plan, the goal is keeping them alive, not keeping them on their course. It's hard but you have to open your mind to different paths and different options. Maturity really makes a difference (along with good medical care). But the path might end up looking very different than you expected. It's a hard road for both your daughter and for you. Please take care of yourself on this most difficult journey.

[Anonymous]

I so feel for you Op. Been there myself…
As others mentioned, lock up all ropes, belts etc…. Mine threatened to hang herself. Also, be wary when driving them around. Mine threatened to jump out of the moving car so have child locks on at all times. She used crazy things to cut herself like the small blades in pencil sharpeners and staples.
I agree to take away all computer access! They learn these tricks through social media. They teach each other how to starve….
If it gets to bad, call the police and they will involuntarily inpatient her at the hospital if she is threatening suicide .

[Anonymous]

Sorry I am the previous poster. I forgot about the strings in hoodies and the staples in magazines…. I suggest you thoroughly go through the house and strip it down. And lock it up. It’s awful but you do what you have to. I’m so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is with Fairfax County, they waive the child's responsibility for assignments and tests while hospitalized or in day-time PHP. That way the child can focus on their mental health during those times. I would imagine other school systems do the same, but please check to verify. That way you don't have to worry about her struggling to catch up on assignments and tests for grading.

Hi, NP here. Sorry to resurrect an older thread, but I was searching the forum and this is exactly the info I am looking for.

DD is a senior in FCPS and was hospitalized Thursday for suicidal thoughts/plans. The plan is for her to go into a full-day PHP once she gets out, though I have asked about after-school IOP too. I know it's hard to get in to these programs so I am not sure yet what will be available or what would be better for her. She takes all AP classes and is super worried about how all this will affect her grades so I am trying to get more information to put her at ease. (I personally could not care less about school right now. I just want her to get better and live.)

I will call the counselor Monday morning to start whatever processes are available. Should I also reach out to teachers? They all seem so lovely and have been very accommodating with some recent absences due to both depression and other medical issues. She has high grades and has already gotten in to college, so I am hopeful they will try to help her do the minimum so she can focus on her mental health.

Any BTDT advice around PHP/IOP and high school would be helpful. This is her first hospitalization but we have been going through this for 4 years so I have already done a lot of the things advised around safety at home.

[Anonymous]

No new info, NP, but sending you hugs.

[Anonymous]

Sending many good thoughts your way too. There is a new-ish after-school IOP in McLean, the Helix Center, https://helix-center.com. We are still in the thick of it, but we've been impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sending many good thoughts your way too. There is a new-ish after-school IOP in McLean, the Helix Center, https://helix-center.com. We are still in the thick of it, but we've been impressed.

Thank you and thank you to 17:08 too. I feel awful and terrified and just so so sad.

[Anonymous]

Sending you positive thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Hi, NP here. Sorry to resurrect an older thread, but I was searching the forum and this is exactly the info I am looking for.

DD is a senior in FCPS and was hospitalized Thursday for suicidal thoughts/plans. The plan is for her to go into a full-day PHP once she gets out, though I have asked about after-school IOP too. I know it's hard to get in to these programs so I am not sure yet what will be available or what would be better for her. She takes all AP classes and is super worried about how all this will affect her grades so I am trying to get more information to put her at ease. (I personally could not care less about school right now. I just want her to get better and live.)

I will call the counselor Monday morning to start whatever processes are available. Should I also reach out to teachers? They all seem so lovely and have been very accommodating with some recent absences due to both depression and other medical issues. She has high grades and has already gotten in to college, so I am hopeful they will try to help her do the minimum so she can focus on her mental health.

Any BTDT advice around PHP/IOP and high school would be helpful. This is her first hospitalization but we have been going through this for 4 years so I have already done a lot of the things advised around safety at home.

Hi NP. I am one of the moms with a 13YO who wrote in earlier. My DD is now in wilderness therapy after 3 hospitalizations in January and February. We tried PHP at Dominion but it didn't work out. Apparently she slept thru most of it due to her dysregulated sleeping. She didn't participate in group when she was awake. When I notified the counselor, she notified the teachers for me but there were some times that I notified everyone at the same time. My DD was a high honors student but is luckily still in middle school so the school plans to allow her to move up to 8th grade. One of the things MCPS did for her is to exempt her from grading for all of her current classes. So this Q3, her report card should simply say "no grade". I don't how that works in FCPS or how that reflects for a HS senior.

Good luck! This is seriously the worst club I've ever been in.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP and I wanted to chime in that my DD has been home since Nov. and things are so much better. She is doing DBT skills and individual therapy, w have found a good psych and I think she is on the right meds. Lost of limits and boundaries at home. We are not home free by any means but I just wanted to give hope to anyone out there.

FWIW she did Dominion PHP a few years ago and found it basically worthless. I have head good things about the Heartwood Program, which takes tweens. Also Newport Academy.

[Anonymous]

I love your update. Thank you for sharing

[Anonymous]

Wishing you well.