Post suicide attempt, coming home, help me make home safer

[Anonymous]

My daughter is coming home post-suicide attempt and we are trying to make the house less "suicide friendly." I know that we cannot suicide proof it, but I am covering the basics of locking up all meds, knives. I would like to put some kind of alarm or alert in the house (we have none) and I am looking for any advice.

She has a window she can open wide in her bedroom that she kicked the screen out of once in anger. This would be easy to jump out of. I was thinking maybe a localized alert alarm there?

Of course she could pry that off if she was determined . . . sigh.

Or we could get a whole house alarm.

Anyone else BTDT? Got any advice? TIA

[Anonymous]

You can put an alarm on the window to alert you if the window is opened. I don't know if anything that will work on just the screen. Can you put something over the window (safety grate) or bolt it shut in some way? Also, she should not be home alone at all right now.

I'm sorry you are in this place, OP. I hope you have been given some solid post-discharge treatment options. I know it is difficult to get into intensive programs right now.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry. I hope you're able to get the support your family needs, and I hope your daughters depression responds to treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry. I hope you're able to get the support your family needs, and I hope your daughters depression responds to treatment.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear of your situation, OP. It's very hard. We dealt with trying to make our home safer after DS had suicidal ideation (medication-induced, in retrospect). One helpful and low-cost thing we did was to use a door alarm which should also work on a window. We had a remote to turn it on and off and only used it at night. DS hated it but it gave us some peace of mind at night. I suppose it could be pried off. We also bought a safe to lock up knives (and other sharps), matches, and meds -- sounds like you've got that covered.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PYG7LH0/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. BTDT mom here. You are right that you can't suicide proof your house. I tried. Here are a few that my kid did. Broke our glassware (drinking glasses, dinner plates, and also bathroom mirrors) and used it as a weapon and an instrument of self harm. Crushed glass once and walked over it both on the feet and handstands and made a bloody mess. Got glass out of neighbors' recycling bins. Razor blades. They are in razors, pencil sharpeners, box cutters, etc. Storing up medications then overdosing. Going to CVS and shoplifting Benedryl. My kid could shoplift in front of my eyes, they got so good at it. Often they stored items in their school locker and then tried to kill themselves at school.

We used to lock lots of stuff in our cars and then sleep with the keys under our pillows because, yes, otherwise our kid would find the keys and get into the cars.

Honestly, I found it far better to spend money for treatment than to try to figure out how to keep my kid safe. RTC programs are set up for safety.

Really, I am sorry you are going through this. I hope your child finds the help she needs.

[Anonymous]

For the window, if it’s the double hung kind, you can install something that only allows it to be opened a small amount (not wide enough to get out of). I put those on DD’s bedroom windows as a safety measure so she wouldn’t accidentally fall out when she was little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the window, if it’s the double hung kind, you can install something that only allows it to be opened a small amount (not wide enough to get out of). I put those on DD’s bedroom windows as a safety measure so she wouldn’t accidentally fall out when she was little.

You can put a screw in it but I'd worry about fire. I'd put alarms or camera's. Our blink cameras have a setting where it alerts us when someone is outside a door (we turned it off as it was annoying).

[Anonymous]

I would get a professional alarm company to come in and do the doors and windows if you can afford it. It will also help avoid her sneaking out or sneaking anyone in. The one my parents had when I was a teen would beep loudly for a full minute when turned off or on so even though I knew the code.I couldn’t disarm it without waking them.

And I would sleep in her room until you feel like she’s in a better place.

Try to get her in a DBT program and agree on the safe for meds. Last time I was at ikea I noticed they had a locker style cabinet that I thought would work well for larger items that need to be locked up and would look a little less like you are living in a bank.

[Anonymous]

We bought a medicine cabinet on Amazon that has a combo lock after our child self harmed with Tylenol. Doctor made a point that our child had researched ahead of time and knew the damage would be reversible if treated in time. I started researching myself and it seems like Tylenol is lethal in that it causes liver damage but isn’t something that would cause immediate death. For those of you dealing with this —what OTC meds are immediately dangerous ? Not even sure if that question makes sense —I tried to find info as to overdoses with OTC meds and it seemed that most overdoses would lead to other health problems

To the OP—it is a terrifying thing to learn your child has hurt themselves. I hope you can find her the help she needs and that you’re able to find some sense of peace —I found therapy to be really helpful for me in dealing with the fear I was feeling.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t btdt but just here to say I see the hard work you parents are doing and hold you in the light and am saying a prayer for all of you. Puts all the other stupid DCUM posts in perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought a medicine cabinet on Amazon that has a combo lock after our child self harmed with Tylenol. Doctor made a point that our child had researched ahead of time and knew the damage would be reversible if treated in time. I started researching myself and it seems like Tylenol is lethal in that it causes liver damage but isn’t something that would cause immediate death. For those of you dealing with this —what OTC meds are immediately dangerous ? Not even sure if that question makes sense —I tried to find info as to overdoses with OTC meds and it seemed that most overdoses would lead to other health problems

To the OP—it is a terrifying thing to learn your child has hurt themselves. I hope you can find her the help she needs and that you’re able to find some sense of peace —I found therapy to be really helpful for me in dealing with the fear I was feeling.

Lock up all OTC meds and cleaning products. Remove locks from her bedroom door -- get a non-locking doorknob or disable the locking mechanism. You just can't leave them alone in the home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. BTDT mom here. You are right that you can't suicide proof your house. I tried. Here are a few that my kid did. Broke our glassware (drinking glasses, dinner plates, and also bathroom mirrors) and used it as a weapon and an instrument of self harm. Crushed glass once and walked over it both on the feet and handstands and made a bloody mess. Got glass out of neighbors' recycling bins. Razor blades. They are in razors, pencil sharpeners, box cutters, etc. Storing up medications then overdosing. Going to CVS and shoplifting Benedryl. My kid could shoplift in front of my eyes, they got so good at it. Often they stored items in their school locker and then tried to kill themselves at school.

We used to lock lots of stuff in our cars and then sleep with the keys under our pillows because, yes, otherwise our kid would find the keys and get into the cars.

Honestly, I found it far better to spend money for treatment than to try to figure out how to keep my kid safe. RTC programs are set up for safety.

Really, I am sorry you are going through this. I hope your child finds the help she needs.

OP here, I am so sorry for what you have been thru. We are spending money -- loads of it in fact -- on therapists, DBT groups, family therapy, psychiatrists etc.

I just don't want to overlook something obvious that in retrospect I feel like an idiot for not doing.

How is your kid doing now?

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for your kind responses.

We think this was SSRI activated, although she had the underlying ideation for a while.

She is in a residential program and will be released to us. She has a therapist we really like, and I am trying to get her into an IOP, or other out-patient DBT program.

One of my biggest concerns is her friend group, while they are kind and supportive, they all kind of validate each other as "sick" as an identity. I am trying to figure out boundaries with phones if anyone has any experience. Her texts are full of suicidal ideation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry. I hope you're able to get the support your family needs, and I hope your daughters depression responds to treatment.

+1000000

This.