Post suicide attempt, coming home, help me make home safer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone for your kind responses.

We think this was SSRI activated, although she had the underlying ideation for a while.

She is in a residential program and will be released to us. She has a therapist we really like, and I am trying to get her into an IOP, or other out-patient DBT program.

One of my biggest concerns is her friend group, while they are kind and supportive, they all kind of validate each other as "sick" as an identity. I am trying to figure out boundaries with phones if anyone has any experience. Her texts are full of suicidal ideation.

We seriously restricted phone time after residential. We had the structure of a PHP which helped. It’s definitely beneficial for my DC’s mental health to have as little phone time as possible. My suggestion would be to be as structured as possible - mirror the schedule of the residential program if you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you everyone for your kind responses.

We think this was SSRI activated, although she had the underlying ideation for a while.

She is in a residential program and will be released to us. She has a therapist we really like, and I am trying to get her into an IOP, or other out-patient DBT program.

One of my biggest concerns is her friend group, while they are kind and supportive, they all kind of validate each other as "sick" as an identity. I am trying to figure out boundaries with phones if anyone has any experience. Her texts are full of suicidal ideation.

We seriously restricted phone time after residential. We had the structure of a PHP which helped. It’s definitely beneficial for my DC’s mental health to have as little phone time as possible. My suggestion would be to be as structured as possible - mirror the schedule of the residential program if you can.

This is such a good tip. Social media can cause spirally downward.

[Anonymous]

Take away her phone. My son was hospitalized several times in the last few years (we finally have amazing support so hopefully we won’t have to go through that again), and one major trigger was contact with friends from the hospital. They’re “not allowed” to stay in contact but as kids they get around the rules.

It led to an ER trip.

If her friends outside the hospital are poor influences, try to find another source of friends. New school? New clubs? New activities? I don’t know, but that dynamic is unhealthy, and I’d work with the family therapist you have to work on ways for her build healthier friendships.

[Anonymous]

It’s barely Nov & my DD was in Dominion in Sept. i feel you. DD now gives me knives after washed to go in the safe. All I can say is you’re not alone. Good luck. My best advice is to focus on your self-care. Hugs to you, non-SN parents just don’t get it and have no idea we all fight like h*ll for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Definitely no social media for awhile, no internet and very limited phone time. Have some routines.

Know that no matter what you do she very well may try again.

It's so hard but it gets better. There is only so much you can do. I had to accept that there was a chance she may end up successful and end her life.

However she attempted this time, she'll likely try something else or double up if there is a next time.

Bark is an app that can track ideation but I haven't tried it personally.

Not sure this helps but telling mine that jumping out of their window wouldn't result in death just a few broken bones deterred that plan.

[Anonymous]

You can get many needed OTC meds and all Rx meds in single-serving packaging. This will not defeat serious intent over time, but it makes poisoning a lot harder to achieve, especially if the intent is impulsive.

No one else has said it and I know everyone assumes this is a given, but I’ll be the person who says explicitly: get rid of any guns in your home.

So sorry you are going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought a medicine cabinet on Amazon that has a combo lock after our child self harmed with Tylenol. Doctor made a point that our child had researched ahead of time and knew the damage would be reversible if treated in time. I started researching myself and it seems like Tylenol is lethal in that it causes liver damage but isn’t something that would cause immediate death. For those of you dealing with this —what OTC meds are immediately dangerous ? Not even sure if that question makes sense —I tried to find info as to overdoses with OTC meds and it seemed that most overdoses would lead to other health problems

To the OP—it is a terrifying thing to learn your child has hurt themselves. I hope you can find her the help she needs and that you’re able to find some sense of peace —I found therapy to be really helpful for me in dealing with the fear I was feeling.

No Tylenol in the house, period.

Seriously, it's the most common cause of liver transplants in children and adolescents. They either think it's mild and safe (it is not, once outside therapeutic range -- and the therapeutic window is relatively narrow), or they think it can be reliably reversed. It can't, even if you get the NAC in within 8-10 hours of ingestion. Sometimes there have been other overdoses that night, and it may need to be restocked, and sometimes it just isn't enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. BTDT mom here. You are right that you can't suicide proof your house. I tried. Here are a few that my kid did. Broke our glassware (drinking glasses, dinner plates, and also bathroom mirrors) and used it as a weapon and an instrument of self harm. Crushed glass once and walked over it both on the feet and handstands and made a bloody mess. Got glass out of neighbors' recycling bins. Razor blades. They are in razors, pencil sharpeners, box cutters, etc. Storing up medications then overdosing. Going to CVS and shoplifting Benedryl. My kid could shoplift in front of my eyes, they got so good at it. Often they stored items in their school locker and then tried to kill themselves at school.

We used to lock lots of stuff in our cars and then sleep with the keys under our pillows because, yes, otherwise our kid would find the keys and get into the cars.

Honestly, I found it far better to spend money for treatment than to try to figure out how to keep my kid safe. RTC programs are set up for safety.

Really, I am sorry you are going through this. I hope your child finds the help she needs.

OP here, I am so sorry for what you have been thru. We are spending money -- loads of it in fact -- on therapists, DBT groups, family therapy, psychiatrists etc.

I just don't want to overlook something obvious that in retrospect I feel like an idiot for not doing.

How is your kid doing now?

PP here. I know how you feel about not wanting to miss something. I realized how uncreative I was. Anyway, mine is still alive and has finished HS thanks to a really supportive IEP team. There were many hospitalizations and two stints in RTC. (I know about spending everything you have - but if I had missed something or decided not to try because finances and they died, I don’t think I could have lived with myself). They are working now and trying to figure out the future and how to have a satisfying life in the present.

It really is a struggle though. There are drugs to self medicate and a lot of ups and downs. I’m still often on edge and treatment is still expensive because what’s working isn’t covered by insurance and I’m not willing to give it up. I am hoping with age and maturity they find their place in this world and peace with whatever they may be.

[Anonymous]

Cameras? Have thought about putting one in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. BTDT mom here. You are right that you can't suicide proof your house. I tried. Here are a few that my kid did. Broke our glassware (drinking glasses, dinner plates, and also bathroom mirrors) and used it as a weapon and an instrument of self harm. Crushed glass once and walked over it both on the feet and handstands and made a bloody mess. Got glass out of neighbors' recycling bins. Razor blades. They are in razors, pencil sharpeners, box cutters, etc. Storing up medications then overdosing. Going to CVS and shoplifting Benedryl. My kid could shoplift in front of my eyes, they got so good at it. Often they stored items in their school locker and then tried to kill themselves at school.

We used to lock lots of stuff in our cars and then sleep with the keys under our pillows because, yes, otherwise our kid would find the keys and get into the cars.

Honestly, I found it far better to spend money for treatment than to try to figure out how to keep my kid safe. RTC programs are set up for safety.

Really, I am sorry you are going through this. I hope your child finds the help she needs.

OP here, I am so sorry for what you have been thru. We are spending money -- loads of it in fact -- on therapists, DBT groups, family therapy, psychiatrists etc.

I just don't want to overlook something obvious that in retrospect I feel like an idiot for not doing.

How is your kid doing now?

PP here. I know how you feel about not wanting to miss something. I realized how uncreative I was. Anyway, mine is still alive and has finished HS thanks to a really supportive IEP team. There were many hospitalizations and two stints in RTC. (I know about spending everything you have - but if I had missed something or decided not to try because finances and they died, I don’t think I could have lived with myself). They are working now and trying to figure out the future and how to have a satisfying life in the present.

It really is a struggle though. There are drugs to self medicate and a lot of ups and downs. I’m still often on edge and treatment is still expensive because what’s working isn’t covered by insurance and I’m not willing to give it up. I am hoping with age and maturity they find their place in this world and peacewith whatever they may be.

Good luck to you and your child. I am so proud that you were able to get them thru high school. A lot of these issues do sort out with maturity and time, that is the best case scenario.

I am at the beginning of this roller coaster and terrified. I know there will probably be other attempts in the future and quite possibly drugs/sex issues. She has been DX with BPD and my heart is breaking.

To the people who mentioned social media, I looked at her Tiktok acct and it is horrifying. Not what she posts, I follow her and it is just innocuous stuff. But the accounts she was following were all glamorizing mental illness and suicidal ideation. Just awful stuff. So we will be banning social media when she gets out of the psych hospital.

I also feel so terribly for her siblings who have been dealing with this, and will have their lives altered by of this.

[Anonymous]

OP here - to whoever mentioned Bark, thanks I will be getting that.

Any other tips like that greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry for what you’re experiencing, OP. My heart goes out to you. How old is your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry for what you’re experiencing, OP. My heart goes out to you. How old is your daughter?

Thirteen.

[Anonymous]

When you say diagnosed with BPD which one? My son has bipolar disorder, and it’s really hard but mood stabilizers have been life changing and most helpful has been family therapy with a therapist who is well versed in bipolar, and the issues it can cause in the family. We started working with him in March very intensively - 3x/week - and are now down to 3x/month. His help worked miracles for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you say diagnosed with BPD which one? My son has bipolar disorder, and it’s really hard but mood stabilizers have been life changing and most helpful has been family therapy with a therapist who is well versed in bipolar, and the issues it can cause in the family. We started working with him in March very intensively - 3x/week - and are now down to 3x/month. His help worked miracles for our family.

Sorry I should have been clearer— Borderline Personality Disorder.