The moment you knew your spouse did not love you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I caught her in bed taking BBC in her behind.

BBC in the behind isn’t about love.

Need more evidence

BBC or any C isn't about love? Take all the BBC you want.

Who needs more evidence? I know I didn't...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When she would rather masturbate than have sex with me. Been going on 2 months with no sex. I’m ready to leave

Are you bad in bed or do you have a small penis? Have you gained weight and are fat? Were you ever attractive?

[Anonymous]

Verbal abuse. He screamed at me in the middle of a very busy mall. I was positively mortified. Didn’t have the decency to hold back until we were in private. Began a long pattern of verbal abuse, he would not care where we were at all. Just awful. In the process of plotting my exit. 10 years too late but better than never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she suddenly became super-duper critical, and started making critical comments about the most trivial things I did. Suddenly, I could do absolutely nothing right. Also, she revised her understanding of the entire history of our relationship such that I had never done anything right, ever. And there were crazy accusations - for example, she said the engagement ring I bought her had fake diamonds. Wouldn't even matter that I could show her the receipt for it, if you're at the point where she can even think that about you, you're done.

When I read posts in this forum by women complaining about their DH doing this and that thing wrong, I know exactly what that is. She might not be at the point of not loving him any more, but she's well on the way.

Whatever you say. Go get the ring tested at a reputable jeweler. Or did she already?

I bought the ring, I know the diamonds are real.

But many are fake, so go get it tested so she can say. But then you cant do the petulant "poor me" victim schtick, if you handled it like an adult. Tragic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Verbal abuse. He screamed at me in the middle of a very busy mall. I was positively mortified. Didn’t have the decency to hold back until we were in private. Began a long pattern of verbal abuse, he would not care where we were at all. Just awful. In the process of plotting my exit. 10 years too late but better than never.

Just want to give you a hug from afar. Wishing you strength and the best moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The look on his face when he was watching his coworker perform karaoke. She was singing " Fools Rush In".

Maybe she’s just a good singer?

Are you still together

She is a really good singer, but he looked at her the way he used to look at me, and yes we're still together

How heartbreaking. I don’t think I could stay. Did they have an affair?

As far as I know, they haven't but I honestly don't want to go looking either to find out, don' think I could handle it if he did.

Even if he finds that other woman attractive, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Maybe there are other pieces to the story. But a person can find other people attractive, or even magnetic, and still love the person they are with. There are probably lots of lovely things about you and your relationship that he loves and couldn't live without. And that can be true even if he finds that singing co-worker attractive.

+1 Agree. Assuming it is just a look/hidden crush, this is not reason to leave your DH. I have to say, if my husband watched me looking at someone I found attractive, I'm sure that at some points it would be completely noticeable, but in the big picture it means nothing but a passing thought on my part. However, if your DH and the co-worker are also close friends, I would be a little more concerned even if I didn't think my husband was having a physical affair. Sometimes its not easy to see when a gradually progressing work friendship is going too far, and while I used to be dubious about the idea of emotional affairs, I get it now and see how even this breach of intimacy can take a toll on a marriage. So while I wouldn't worry that DH was or is cheating just from that look, I probably would be a little more watchful if they are friends.

[Anonymous]

When he told me that he married me because I “looked good on paper.” It was obvious the entire time but he was lying and saying he loved me up to that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The look on his face when he was watching his coworker perform karaoke. She was singing " Fools Rush In".

Maybe she’s just a good singer?

Are you still together

She is a really good singer, but he looked at her the way he used to look at me, and yes we're still together

How heartbreaking. I don’t think I could stay. Did they have an affair?

As far as I know, they haven't but I honestly don't want to go looking either to find out, don' think I could handle it if he did.

Even if he finds that other woman attractive, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Maybe there are other pieces to the story. But a person can find other people attractive, or even magnetic, and still love the person they are with. There are probably lots of lovely things about you and your relationship that he loves and couldn't live without. And that can be true even if he finds that singing co-worker attractive.

+1 Agree. Assuming it is just a look/hidden crush, this is not reason to leave your DH. I have to say, if my husband watched me looking at someone I found attractive, I'm sure that at some points it would be completely noticeable, but in the big picture it means nothing but a passing thought on my part. However, if your DH and the co-worker are also close friends, I would be a little more concerned even if I didn't think my husband was having a physical affair. Sometimes its not easy to see when a gradually progressing work friendship is going too far, and while I used to be dubious about the idea of emotional affairs, I get it now and see how even this breach of intimacy can take a toll on a marriage. So while I wouldn't worry that DH was or is cheating just from that look, I probably would be a little more watchful if they are friends.

Why are you 2 gaslighting pp? It's her relationship she knows what's up, but yer here you are trying to tell her she's wrong. Gaslighting somone doesn't make them feel better.

[Anonymous]

^ That’s not gaslighting. Gaslighting in this case would be telling her it didn’t happen, and no one is saying that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I caught her in bed taking BBC in her behind.

What is BBC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I caught her in bed taking BBC in her behind.

What is BBC?

British Broadcasting Corporation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I caught her in bed taking BBC in her behind.

What is BBC?

Big black c**k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When he a) screamed at me and humiliated me in public - after I had supported him for months during a breakdown; b) when he told me to go back to my home country and not come back; c) when he screamed at me that he would no longer sponsor my visa (not in US - another country where my residence depended on his job); d) when he took a very deliberate decision to embark on an action that I did not agree with and had been clear from the start of our relationship that I would never agree with it (religious practice); e) when he told me that he had always known he would take that action. (ie when I realized that he had lied to me from the start and that out relationship was based on a lie as there would NOT have been a second date had he been truthful).

Curious what religion and what action?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When she would rather masturbate than have sex with me. Been going on 2 months with no sex. I’m ready to leave

Two whole months!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she would rather masturbate than have sex with me. Been going on 2 months with no sex. I’m ready to leave

Two whole months!

That's a long time for people in a relationship and under 65 with normal sex drives.