This a sign that I’m too old for her/she’s too young for me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 and she’s 31. She has her own place and is very smart (we work in the same niche industry actually). We had a great first date and plan on seeing each other next weekend. We haven’t really spoken that much in between dates, just a few texts here and there. Well today she texted me and said that she was waiting for her flight and wanted to know if I wanted to “play a game”. The game was 21 questions.

Maybe I’m over thinking here but asking to play 21 questions via text? That’s a bit juvenile don’t you think?

I'm now mid 40s and after my divorce I dated women 15-5 years younger than man. They were fun, attractive, great company, and a joy to be around. I won't mention how great they were in bed. That said 31 is not that young if you're 40. Nine years is nothing when you get to this point. But, maturity differ in people. Some 30 year olds act like they are still 20 while some act like they are 40.

In the end, if you like her play along. She's flirting. Date for at least a few months to see where it goes. If it goes nowhere you've lost nothing.

[Anonymous]

As a 40yo you'll finds that it is rare to date someone who's 31 unless you want to get married soon and have a family.

Much easier to date your own age or early to mid-20s, at least on may experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40, OP, and I think this would be fun. But the fact that you don’t means you likely don’t define fun in the same way. That’s ok, just probably time to move on.

IT actually sounds like OP just isn't that into her, if he was he'd be cool with whatever way she wanted to connect with him. But he's doing the typical immature thing of blaming the other person.

It’s kind of the same thing though, no? If they were compatible this wouldn’t be an issue. But they aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40, OP, and I think this would be fun. But the fact that you don’t means you likely don’t define fun in the same way. That’s ok, just probably time to move on.

IT actually sounds like OP just isn't that into her, if he was he'd be cool with whatever way she wanted to connect with him. But he's doing the typical immature thing of blaming the other person.

It’s kind of the same thing though, no? If they were compatible this wouldn’t be an issue. But they aren’t.

No the mature thing would be to just let it go instead op wants to simultaneously shame the woman for being immature and paint himself as mature and superior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re boring.

Find a woman your own age to watch Masterpiece Theatre with on the couch on Friday nights.

THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40, OP, and I think this would be fun. But the fact that you don’t means you likely don’t define fun in the same way. That’s ok, just probably time to move on.

IT actually sounds like OP just isn't that into her, if he was he'd be cool with whatever way she wanted to connect with him. But he's doing the typical immature thing of blaming the other person.

This is my read too. If you had a good first date and were excited about the person, you'd just be glad they reached out and were thinking about you. If you're dissecting the manner of contact then you're just not that thrilled to hear from her. And deciding the contact was "juvenile" is a sign OP is nervous about dating a younger person in general and looking for reasons it's a bad idea.

Move on before you spend any more time, OP. If you're not happy to hear from someone you're dating this early in the relationship, it's not going to get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re boring.

Find a woman your own age to watch Masterpiece Theatre with on the couch on Friday nights.

THIS

Hey I'm about ops age and I enjoy Masterpiece theatre, pbs documentaries and a good game of 21 questions.

I'd be charmed if a guy I liked was thinking about me during his layover. I just don't think op is all that interested in this woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I just looked up what 21 Questions is.

It's different from 20 Questions.

You ask each other get-to-know you questions. 21 of them.

I'd totally play 20 Questions via text. It would take little time a thought. But no, I wouldn't want to answer 21 Questions in a row about myself and my thoughts and my life philosophies. That sounds exhausting.

I'd rather do it over dinner, not text. I can see how it could be fun but I would want some interesting questions that may lead to back and forth conversation. I think that would be better to get to know someone and more fun.

Doing that over text. Kill me.

I totally agree. Chit-chatting over a drink fine. 100+ lame texts when I could be reading a book or listening to a podcast at the airport... No.

[Anonymous]

She sounds annoying and infantile. I can imagine a teenager asking to play 21 questions over text but I could not be bothered to do that. Granted, I'm married with three kids and have a business to run so don't have time for that BS. OP, guess if you're not married, have no kids and don't really work then that could be your thing.

I wouldn't really be interested in someone like that at 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I just looked up what 21 Questions is.

It's different from 20 Questions.

You ask each other get-to-know you questions. 21 of them.

I'd totally play 20 Questions via text. It would take little time a thought. But no, I wouldn't want to answer 21 Questions in a row about myself and my thoughts and my life philosophies. That sounds exhausting.

I'd rather do it over dinner, not text. I can see how it could be fun but I would want some interesting questions that may lead to back and forth conversation. I think that would be better to get to know someone and more fun.

Doing that over text. Kill me.

I totally agree. Chit-chatting over a drink fine. 100+ lame texts when I could be reading a book or listening to a podcast at the airport... No.

You sound like a bore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds annoying and infantile. I can imagine a teenager asking to play 21 questions over text but I could not be bothered to do that. Granted, I'm married with three kids and have a business to run so don't have time for that BS. OP, guess if you're not married, have no kids and don't really work then that could be your thing.

I wouldn't really be interested in someone like that at 40.

Infantile for finding a creative way to get to know someone better?
I think between your business and kids you’ve lost (or maybe never had?) your sense of fun. The beginning stages of dating someone is the supposed to lightest, easiest, and most fun part.

[Anonymous]

Play whatever game she wants to keep blasting her with baby batter.

[Anonymous]

More than an age difference, this sounds like a male vs. female difference. She wants you to talk to her. You’d probably prefer that she just use text messaging to send you a photo of herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40, OP, and I think this would be fun. But the fact that you don’t means you likely don’t define fun in the same way. That’s ok, just probably time to move on.

IT actually sounds like OP just isn't that into her, if he was he'd be cool with whatever way she wanted to connect with him. But he's doing the typical immature thing of blaming the other person.

This is my read too. If you had a good first date and were excited about the person, you'd just be glad they reached out and were thinking about you. If you're dissecting the manner of contact then you're just not that thrilled to hear from her. And deciding the contact was "juvenile" is a sign OP is nervous about dating a younger person in general and looking for reasons it's a bad idea.

Move on before you spend any more time, OP. If you're not happy to hear from someone you're dating this early in the relationship, it's not going to get better.

Yes, OP is just not that into her. I personally think it's a little childish of her to suggest that game (I'm 35 F) but it's def not a reason to reconsider the relationship unless you were already somewhat turned off and now you have something tangible to point to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I just looked up what 21 Questions is.

It's different from 20 Questions.

You ask each other get-to-know you questions. 21 of them.

I'd totally play 20 Questions via text. It would take little time a thought. But no, I wouldn't want to answer 21 Questions in a row about myself and my thoughts and my life philosophies. That sounds exhausting.

I'd rather do it over dinner, not text. I can see how it could be fun but I would want some interesting questions that may lead to back and forth conversation. I think that would be better to get to know someone and more fun.

Doing that over text. Kill me.

I wouldn’t mind! Spread out over a week or two it would be really fun. This is probably just a style difference of whether you enjoy flirting over text or not.