Texting a lot

[Anonymous]

https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2017/05/03/524907739/pre-k-decades-worth-of-studies-one-strong-message

When looking at socio-economic level, the kids who benefit the most from preschool are the ones from poor families, with parents who can’t be home with them, don’t know how to prepare them for kindergarten, and who can’t afford to hire someone else to do so. That’s why headstart exists. That’s why DC has free preschool starting at age 3.

There are plenty of kids for whom group care at 1.5-4 is *not* the right option. That’s how we get kids labeled as adhd instead of having adults recognize that young children need to move more than they need to sit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is her job, like any job, phone use would not be allowed while working. It is a so odd that people feel being on their phone is part of their job description, especially when all her attention should be watching and engaging your child.

It's completely different where one goes to the office surrounded by co-workers. A nanny is essentially a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yes the studies do support the success with preschool. A toddler should at least be in a p/t program of some sort.

https://learningpolicyinstitute.org/press-release/what-does-research-really-say-about-preschool-effectiveness


https://www.rasmussen.edu/degrees/education/blog/why-preschool-important-myths/

Based on what I’ve seen, a child who’s with a smart and dedicated caregiver at home, and gets regular socialization with peers, does fine at preschool. My child didn’t start preschool until 4 due to Covid but had plenty of socialization with neighborhood kids and kids of family and friends. Doing very well now in preschool. OTOH, a kid who’s been with grandma in front of the TV may not do as well (have seen one or two cases of this as well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to note that I was a SAHM pre-Covid and most of the things I did with my kid I was around a lot of nannies. Storytime, playground, music class, etc.. And yes, I knew they were nannies not parents, because I talked to them and got to know many them. One of them is now our occasional babysitter because I got to know her on the playground and she likes our family and I know she's great with kids.

And yes, upwards of 50% of nannies spend a significant amount of time when they are caring for kids on their phones. Sorry. I'm not judging. It actually made me feel better about my occasional phone use, and some of those nannies taught me how to to let my kid be more independent on the playground once she was old enough. I learned to sit on a bench and read a book or look at my phone and check in on her every few minutes, but not have to go around and play with her the whole time (well, sometimes she'd ask for this and I did it but she also learned to be independent).

But yeah, some of the nannies it was a problem where you could tell they were just totally checked out. I think it's less of an issue if it's a share or there are siblings, and the kids play well together. And I think it's less of an issue with a newborn who is sleeping all the time, or with an older kid who is focused on other kids. But yes, there are lots and lots of nannies of kids age 6-24mo who just are not interacting that much with the kids.

At our library story time, this was such an issue that the librarians would come out at the beginning of story time to make a clear announcement that adults could not be on their phones during story time, and were expected to sit with the kids and interact in the story time. It got a little better after they started cracking down (before that, one group of nannies would sit in the back of the room and take to each other and stare at their phones while their kids wandered around the room -- it was very disruptive), but still not great.

Anyway, if you think your nanny never looks at her phone when alone with your kids, you are probably wrong. Some nannies don't, but A LOT do. It's the same as with parents.

Yeah your experiences match mine. I was pretty taken aback, actually, by the amount of ignoring of kids/obsessive phone use on playgrounds and at group activities. I think a lot of parents don’t realize this. Phone addiction is a huge problem in our culture. I also see people texting and driving all the time.

[Anonymous]

We had the same problem and that is why we opted for an older nanny. She is very competent and because she is over 50 she is rarely on her phone.

[Anonymous]

OP with update, since this thread is still alive. Not related to phone use, but we parted ways because the nanny got a better offer from a family which whom she interviewed earlier but who kept stringing her along for a while (she showed me their messages shortly after I hired her, unprompted). It was a bit of a struggle, but we found someone by word of mouth, and that person is an amazing match for us. The toddler "gifted" her one of his toys during the tryout day. She is a bit older, doesn't use the phone and has many other qualities I like. Long story short - it's a pain to change caregivers, but keep looking for the right match, they do exist.