Texting a lot

[Anonymous]

We just started with a new nanny. She seems very competent and came highly recommended, but there is one thing that's bugging me - she is texting on her phone all the time. We have asked to limit phone use to only what's absolutely necessary, but the phone is on the floor in the playroom, she is checking it a lot. The child is 2.5 and doesn't use screens at all, no cartoons, no games, nothing. I don't want him to watch her interact with the device all the time. If you were able to curb the phone use by the nanny - how did you go about accomplishing do that?

[Anonymous]

You will not succeed at this. You either need to get comfortable with it or find a new nanny. This is something you should discuss in interviews.

Even if you talk to her and she reduces phone use while around you, she will still be on her phone all the time when alone with your child.

Also, be wary of what other parents say about their nanny’s phone use. I’d say about 50% of all nannies where I live are like this— on their phones all the time. They are people and this is a common issue. Lots of people are easily disengaged when caring for young kids. You do the math.

If you want a nanny who isn’t in her phone all the time, (1) pay very well, (2) hire someone who has a great rapport with your kid and seems genuinely interested in talking to and playing with your child, (3) check those references.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to keep her phone in her bag and use it only when your child is asleep. End of discussion.

Our nanny never takes her phone out of her backpack. We got her an Apple Watch as a signing bonus for 911 and other emergencies as well as DH and I texting. Our nanny is older and not addicted to her phone. She’s also more opposed to screens than we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to keep her phone in her bag and use it only when your child is asleep. End of discussion.

Our nanny never takes her phone out of her backpack. We got her an Apple Watch as a signing bonus for 911 and other emergencies as well as DH and I texting. Our nanny is older and not addicted to her phone. She’s also more opposed to screens than we are.

+1. Simply say “no phone” when your child is awake. Our nanny never takes her phone out of her bag either.

[Anonymous]

“You will not succeed at this” is bulls**t. Tell your employee she is not allowed to use or look at her phone during the day when the child is awake. Any good employee will follow the rules in or out of the house!

This phone addiction has to stop. Simply tell her, OP.

[Anonymous]

When everything was open this was pretty standard to see at playgrounds and library story time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When everything was open this was pretty standard to see at playgrounds and library story time.

First, how can you possibly know who was a nanny and who was a parent? Our nanny is older and white and everyone assumes she is my children’s grandmother. My best friend is Latina with two blonde children and everyone assumes she’s the nanny.

Second, even if you were correct, it isn’t right, fair, or safe for any caregiver - parent, nanny, grandparent - to be distracted by the phone when watching children.

DP here and our nanny is never on her phone either at home or outside. My SAHM friends and neighbors confirm it and I work from home so I know.

[Anonymous]

I'll bet when OP is home she can't stay off her phone either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll bet when OP is home she can't stay off her phone either.

That doesn’t matter. An employer can insist that an employee do any number of things that the employer can’t or won’t do. That’s true in any field.

[Anonymous]

How old is your Nanny OP??

I may get flamed here, but from personal experience (only!) it’s usually younger Nannies (in their 20’s) who need to have their extra limb….err…sorry their phones close by.
At. all. times.
Bar none.

I find it problematic that you have discussed this issue w/your Nanny & she seems to be disregarding your request.

I do not think it would be fair to ask your Nanny to leave her phone in her bag during her shift or to not use it at all.
However just hire a Nanny who has enough common sense to practice the proper discretion needed in regard to phone use while working.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your Nanny OP??

I may get flamed here, but from personal experience (only!) it’s usually younger Nannies (in their 20’s) who need to have their extra limb….err…sorry their phones close by.
At. all. times.
Bar none.

I find it problematic that you have discussed this issue w/your Nanny & she seems to be disregarding your request.

I do not think it would be fair to ask your Nanny to leave her phone in her bag during her shift or to not use it at all.
However just hire a Nanny who has enough common sense to practice the proper discretion needed in regard to phone use while working.

Good luck.

Why wouldn’t it be fair to tell an employee they can’t use their phone when working? Honest question. Thousands of occupations to it.

[Anonymous]

She shouldn't be on her phone all the time obviously. Not okay. With that being said, I decline providing care for families who ask me to use my phone only for emergencies/keep in my purse throughout the care date/only use it to keep contact with them while there. It's 2021; that's just unrealistic but beyond that, I'm an ad-hoc private sitter with 30+ family contacts. I'm asked for care by at least one family or contacted for something each day. I'm not going to ignore those requests for hours on end when I'm an independent contractor and this is my bread and butter. I make this clear to families and as most of my clients have cameras in their homes, they know very well that I still limit my usage while children are awake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn't be on her phone all the time obviously. Not okay. With that being said, I decline providing care for families who ask me to use my phone only for emergencies/keep in my purse throughout the care date/only use it to keep contact with them while there. It's 2021; that's just unrealistic but beyond that, I'm an ad-hoc private sitter with 30+ family contacts. I'm asked for care by at least one family or contacted for something each day. I'm not going to ignore those requests for hours on end when I'm an independent contractor and this is my bread and butter. I make this clear to families and as most of my clients have cameras in their homes, they know very well that I still limit my usage while children are awake.

You aren’t a nanny (with one family and no need to look for outside work). I still see no reason why a typical nanny can’t keep her phone in her bag when the children are awake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn't be on her phone all the time obviously. Not okay. With that being said, I decline providing care for families who ask me to use my phone only for emergencies/keep in my purse throughout the care date/only use it to keep contact with them while there. It's 2021; that's just unrealistic but beyond that, I'm an ad-hoc private sitter with 30+ family contacts. I'm asked for care by at least one family or contacted for something each day. I'm not going to ignore those requests for hours on end when I'm an independent contractor and this is my bread and butter. I make this clear to families and as most of my clients have cameras in their homes, they know very well that I still limit my usage while children are awake.

You aren’t a nanny (with one family and no need to look for outside work). I still see no reason why a typical nanny can’t keep her phone in her bag when the children are awake.

+1. And I’m a nanny. My phone is close by for photos and any emergency but I never look at it during the day (older child stopped napping at 2.5).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When everything was open this was pretty standard to see at playgrounds and library story time.

First, how can you possibly know who was a nanny and who was a parent? Our nanny is older and white and everyone assumes she is my children’s grandmother. My best friend is Latina with two blonde children and everyone assumes she’s the nanny.

Second, even if you were correct, it isn’t right, fair, or safe for any caregiver - parent, nanny, grandparent - to be distracted by the phone when watching children.

DP here and our nanny is never on her phone either at home or outside. My SAHM friends and neighbors confirm it and I work from home so I know.

Did you ever go to library time with your child?