Texting a lot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When everything was open this was pretty standard to see at playgrounds and library story time.

First, how can you possibly know who was a nanny and who was a parent? Our nanny is older and white and everyone assumes she is my children’s grandmother. My best friend is Latina with two blonde children and everyone assumes she’s the nanny.

Second, even if you were correct, it isn’t right, fair, or safe for any caregiver - parent, nanny, grandparent - to be distracted by the phone when watching children.

DP here and our nanny is never on her phone either at home or outside. My SAHM friends and neighbors confirm it and I work from home so I know.

Did you ever go to library time with your child?

Sure! Neither nanny nor I were on our phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll bet when OP is home she can't stay off her phone either.

This doesn't matter at all. Nanny is an employee and subject to rules yet can do whatever she wants in her own home same as mom who is subject to rules at her place of work but does not have to follow them at home.

[Anonymous]

This commonplace acceptance of nannies and parents on their phones when they should be watching or engaged with their children has to stop. Newsflash: you really can work without looking at your phone for hours at a time. Aside from the dangers of not paying attention outside or in public places, I can’t believe that phone use will not have a negative effect on little kids who can intuit that mommy or nanny’s phone is more interesting or important than they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When everything was open this was pretty standard to see at playgrounds and library story time.

First, how can you possibly know who was a nanny and who was a parent? Our nanny is older and white and everyone assumes she is my children’s grandmother. My best friend is Latina with two blonde children and everyone assumes she’s the nanny.

Second, even if you were correct, it isn’t right, fair, or safe for any caregiver - parent, nanny, grandparent - to be distracted by the phone when watching children.

DP here and our nanny is never on her phone either at home or outside. My SAHM friends and neighbors confirm it and I work from home so I know.

Did you ever go to library time with your child?

Sure! Neither nanny nor I were on our phones.

+1. Pre-covid, when our library had storytime, phones weren’t allowed. Same with our old Music Together class. Not even to take pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This commonplace acceptance of nannies and parents on their phones when they should be watching or engaged with their children has to stop. Newsflash: you really can work without looking at your phone for hours at a time. Aside from the dangers of not paying attention outside or in public places, I can’t believe that phone use will not have a negative effect on little kids who can intuit that mommy or nanny’s phone is more interesting or important than they are.

Yes! This makes me so sad. Working from home is hard. I am in the house and I know my kids are in the house with the nanny and I see so much more than I did before COVID. I'll walk into a room and see my toddler playing by himself and my nanny looking at her phone and then snap to it when she notices me (usually its when my son says MOMMY!). I have some weird a$$ guilt about confronting her because I understand how draining caring for a toddler and a newborn can be. But it eats at me. And here's my question for people who say you can avoid this by paying high $$ for a nanny: What is the dollar amount? Because I think we pay pretty well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This commonplace acceptance of nannies and parents on their phones when they should be watching or engaged with their children has to stop. Newsflash: you really can work without looking at your phone for hours at a time. Aside from the dangers of not paying attention outside or in public places, I can’t believe that phone use will not have a negative effect on little kids who can intuit that mommy or nanny’s phone is more interesting or important than they are.

Yes! This makes me so sad. Working from home is hard. I am in the house and I know my kids are in the house with the nanny and I see so much more than I did before COVID. I'll walk into a room and see my toddler playing by himself and my nanny looking at her phone and then snap to it when she notices me (usually its when my son says MOMMY!). I have some weird a$$ guilt about confronting her because I understand how draining caring for a toddler and a newborn can be. But it eats at me. And here's my question for people who say you can avoid this by paying high $$ for a nanny: What is the dollar amount? Because I think we pay pretty well.

What do you pay? Did she have good references?

I don’t know if it’s about pay tbh. I live in a non dc neighborhood where To live here with kids, your HHI almost always has to be 700K plus and these top rate nannies are also on their phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When everything was open this was pretty standard to see at playgrounds and library story time.

First, how can you possibly know who was a nanny and who was a parent? Our nanny is older and white and everyone assumes she is my children’s grandmother. My best friend is Latina with two blonde children and everyone assumes she’s the nanny.

Second, even if you were correct, it isn’t right, fair, or safe for any caregiver - parent, nanny, grandparent - to be distracted by the phone when watching children.

DP here and our nanny is never on her phone either at home or outside. My SAHM friends and neighbors confirm it and I work from home so I know.

Did you ever go to library time with your child?

Sure! Neither nanny nor I were on our phones.

+1. Pre-covid, when our library had storytime, phones weren’t allowed. Same with our old Music Together class. Not even to take pictures.

That’s pretty abnormal. At least for the free library time. More than half of the caregivers is on their phone at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When everything was open this was pretty standard to see at playgrounds and library story time.

First, how can you possibly know who was a nanny and who was a parent? Our nanny is older and white and everyone assumes she is my children’s grandmother. My best friend is Latina with two blonde children and everyone assumes she’s the nanny.

Second, even if you were correct, it isn’t right, fair, or safe for any caregiver - parent, nanny, grandparent - to be distracted by the phone when watching children.

DP here and our nanny is never on her phone either at home or outside. My SAHM friends and neighbors confirm it and I work from home so I know.

Did you ever go to library time with your child?

Sure! Neither nanny nor I were on our phones.

+1. Pre-covid, when our library had storytime, phones weren’t allowed. Same with our old Music Together class. Not even to take pictures.

That’s pretty abnormal. At least for the free library time. More than half of the caregivers is on their phone at some point.

Even if you’re right, it’s still inexcusable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This commonplace acceptance of nannies and parents on their phones when they should be watching or engaged with their children has to stop. Newsflash: you really can work without looking at your phone for hours at a time. Aside from the dangers of not paying attention outside or in public places, I can’t believe that phone use will not have a negative effect on little kids who can intuit that mommy or nanny’s phone is more interesting or important than they are.

Yes! This makes me so sad. Working from home is hard. I am in the house and I know my kids are in the house with the nanny and I see so much more than I did before COVID. I'll walk into a room and see my toddler playing by himself and my nanny looking at her phone and then snap to it when she notices me (usually its when my son says MOMMY!). I have some weird a$$ guilt about confronting her because I understand how draining caring for a toddler and a newborn can be. But it eats at me. And here's my question for people who say you can avoid this by paying high $$ for a nanny: What is the dollar amount? Because I think we pay pretty well.

Tell her that you can’t allow phone use when the kids are awake. It honestly doesn’t matter what you’re paying her in this regard. This is her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This commonplace acceptance of nannies and parents on their phones when they should be watching or engaged with their children has to stop. Newsflash: you really can work without looking at your phone for hours at a time. Aside from the dangers of not paying attention outside or in public places, I can’t believe that phone use will not have a negative effect on little kids who can intuit that mommy or nanny’s phone is more interesting or important than they are.

Yes! This makes me so sad. Working from home is hard. I am in the house and I know my kids are in the house with the nanny and I see so much more than I did before COVID. I'll walk into a room and see my toddler playing by himself and my nanny looking at her phone and then snap to it when she notices me (usually its when my son says MOMMY!). I have some weird a$$ guilt about confronting her because I understand how draining caring for a toddler and a newborn can be. But it eats at me. And here's my question for people who say you can avoid this by paying high $$ for a nanny: What is the dollar amount? Because I think we pay pretty well.

What do you pay? Did she have good references?

I don’t know if it’s about pay tbh. I live in a non dc neighborhood where To live here with kids, your HHI almost always has to be 700K plus and these top rate nannies are also on their phones.

+1. It has nothing to do with what you pay. Daycare teachers make minimum wage and they aren’t on their phones!

[Anonymous]

Your child is a toddler and should be in a group daycare/preschool. Where there will be teachers, and other kids to interact with and learn social skills. Not be with 1 nanny all day. Therein lies the bigger problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This commonplace acceptance of nannies and parents on their phones when they should be watching or engaged with their children has to stop. Newsflash: you really can work without looking at your phone for hours at a time. Aside from the dangers of not paying attention outside or in public places, I can’t believe that phone use will not have a negative effect on little kids who can intuit that mommy or nanny’s phone is more interesting or important than they are.

Yes! This makes me so sad. Working from home is hard. I am in the house and I know my kids are in the house with the nanny and I see so much more than I did before COVID. I'll walk into a room and see my toddler playing by himself and my nanny looking at her phone and then snap to it when she notices me (usually its when my son says MOMMY!). I have some weird a$$ guilt about confronting her because I understand how draining caring for a toddler and a newborn can be. But it eats at me. And here's my question for people who say you can avoid this by paying high $$ for a nanny: What is the dollar amount? Because I think we pay pretty well.

It’s more to do with checking references completely and making sure you’re on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is a toddler and should be in a group daycare/preschool. Where there will be teachers, and other kids to interact with and learn social skills. Not be with 1 nanny all day. Therein lies the bigger problem.

Young toddlers don’t need to play with other children. In fact, 1-2yo learn more from an adult tha they do from socializing with peers. At that age, I fa still parallel play, and there’s sufficient opportunities at the park. Once they’re 3-4yo and playing together, group care makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child is a toddler and should be in a group daycare/preschool. Where there will be teachers, and other kids to interact with and learn social skills. Not be with 1 nanny all day. Therein lies the bigger problem.

God, no! NO institutional care unless you have no choice!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is a toddler and should be in a group daycare/preschool. Where there will be teachers, and other kids to interact with and learn social skills. Not be with 1 nanny all day. Therein lies the bigger problem.

Young toddlers don’t need to play with other children. In fact, 1-2yo learn more from an adult tha they do from socializing with peers. At that age, I fa still parallel play, and there’s sufficient opportunities at the park. Once they’re 3-4yo and playing together, group care makes sense.

At age two they really do need to be in a small group. That's where they learn associative play.
We often noticed children who were with mom all day, or the nanny were more difficult. Separation anxiety, and difficulties getting along with a bigger group.
OP's child is over two. A nanny who texts all day - NO!