79 years old -- my mom looks and feels great, and is not needy at all

[Anonymous]

Your mom is going great, too bad her daughter is such a cow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea for you? Obviously there are a wide range of outcomes for the end of someone’s life. I’m glad your mom is doing well. She probably ate healthily and exercised and is now reaping the benefits of those efforts.

I will say that in my experience, that can change on a dime. My dad did great until his 80th year. Things turned, he clearly wasn’t doing well, and passed away just before his 81st birthday.

Obviously I hope your mom lives many more years, but just a note of caution on assuming everything will stay great just because they are good for her today.

NP here. You know, I really hope to go like that. I don’t want a drawn out decline. I’d rather just be traveling and taking art classes one day and then die within a year of a major health issue. Everyone has the chance to say goodbye but no prolonged suffering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to rub it in.....how is your dad doing?

Right? And I say this as someone whose mom has outlived dad by 20 years. Of all people, OP, you should get this - it’s a little more complex than “oh she stays active and gets her hair done.”

[Anonymous]

You suck OP. My dad lived an active healthy life and didn't deserve this awful Parkinsons that he has. Yes, he's the 'frail man" with the walker being helped by my active mother.

I'm active myself, but who knows, Parkinsons could be genetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On this forum, I read about a lot of people whose parents are in their late 70's, and seem to be kind of a mess, or very needy.

Not trying to rub it in at all, but age 79 should not mean that a person is a hopeless mess.

My mom is 79, and she still works (elected politician), looks great, works out daily, dresses really nicely, has done of friends, and is just a very strong person. (My mom has been widowed since at 59, but she has a big group of friends who like to travel together, go to symphony concerts, etc.)

She is not needy AT ALL.

My mom went to her high school reunion recently (high school class of 1960). She sent me a photo of her with all of her classmates. Her classmates all look old and kind of like they have let themselves go. My mom (without ANY plastic surgery) looks so much younger than they are -- she is slim and always dresses in a stylish way.

When I hear about other peoples' parents who are kind of a mess at this age, it seems like it does not need to be that way.

Excellent to hear. It turns on a dime. My father was 82, pulling in 100G a year in part time computer work. Then he had a massive stroke because his cardiologist never thought it important to scan his carotid arteries. My mother was fine in her 70s, walking, enjoying life. Then she got hit by a drunk driver which physically damaged her to the point where she’s in constant pain. It doesn’t have to be that way - until it does.

[Anonymous]

All it takes is one fall. Count your blessings, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom is going great, too bad her daughter is such a cow.

This.

But take care of yourself, that will help. Don't drink, don't smoke. Or do! Have lots of sex, or stay celibate! Don't eat meat, or go paleo, maybe avoid dairy, or maybe not! You know you do your best, an then genetics or accidents take over. No real evidence that anything can extend your life and your quality of life. Although having money, being active, and not being sick, and being lucky helps.

[Anonymous]

Are you seriously this dense? People age differently and have different health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On this forum, I read about a lot of people whose parents are in their late 70's, and seem to be kind of a mess, or very needy.

Not trying to rub it in at all, but age 79 should not mean that a person is a hopeless mess.

My mom is 79, and she still works (elected politician), looks great, works out daily, dresses really nicely, has done of friends, and is just a very strong person. (My mom has been widowed since at 59, but she has a big group of friends who like to travel together, go to symphony concerts, etc.)

She is not needy AT ALL.

My mom went to her high school reunion recently (high school class of 1960). She sent me a photo of her with all of her classmates. Her classmates all look old and kind of like they have let themselves go. My mom (without ANY plastic surgery) looks so much younger than they are -- she is slim and always dresses in a stylish way.

When I hear about other peoples' parents who are kind of a mess at this age, it seems like it does not need to be that way.

Excellent to hear. It turns on a dime. My father was 82, pulling in 100G a year in part time computer work. Then he had a massive stroke because his cardiologist never thought it important to scan his carotid arteries. My mother was fine in her 70s, walking, enjoying life. Then she got hit by a drunk driver which physically damaged her to the point where she’s in constant pain. It doesn’t have to be that way - until it does.

Yep, my mom was so active at 86. She still drove and had a very active social life. She developed a cold, got pneumonia and died 5 months later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On this forum, I read about a lot of people whose parents are in their late 70's, and seem to be kind of a mess, or very needy.

Not trying to rub it in at all, but age 79 should not mean that a person is a hopeless mess.

My mom is 79, and she still works (elected politician), looks great, works out daily, dresses really nicely, has done of friends, and is just a very strong person. (My mom has been widowed since at 59, but she has a big group of friends who like to travel together, go to symphony concerts, etc.)

She is not needy AT ALL.

My mom went to her high school reunion recently (high school class of 1960). She sent me a photo of her with all of her classmates. Her classmates all look old and kind of like they have let themselves go. My mom (without ANY plastic surgery) looks so much younger than they are -- she is slim and always dresses in a stylish way.

When I hear about other peoples' parents who are kind of a mess at this age, it seems like it does not need to be that way.

So do you want to tell people not to get cancer or have a stroke?

I’m glad your mom is doing well but it’s not the case for everyone. My mom worked until 74 and then had to become a full time caretaker, which took a lot of out of her. Your mom is fortunate she did not have to chase after someone with dementia.

[Anonymous]

So do you want to tell people not to get cancer or have a stroke?

+1. I'm not sure what the point of OP's post was?

My father was active and led a healthy lifestyle and dropped dead at age 51. My mom (also 79) eats mostly processed junk food, has smoked for 60+ years and is thin and has no major health issues.

[Anonymous]

OP, I really need you to clarify the last sentence of your post…..

It does not need to be that way.

What exactly do you mean by this statement??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. I'm watching my parents, in-laws, and peers' parents age and the difference between ones who eat garbage and spend time watching tv/on their phones vs the ones who walk daily and are engaged in life is stark. It's a constant reminder to me to lift weights, eat a bit better, and do NOT give up. It's like my mother decided at 60 that she wasn't going to try to improve her physical health when she started becoming disabled and now she's walking with a walker at 75 and is very frail. It's like she's 95.

Oh f you.

My father has Parkinson’s. He requires twenty four seven care. You think that’s his fault? F you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I really need you to clarify the last sentence of your post…..

It does not need to be that way.

What exactly do you mean by this statement??

I agreen with OP. I does not have to be this way. Had there been an effective border policy, my mother would not have been hit by the twice deported, three times prior arrested drunk illegal alien with no license and no insurance.

[Anonymous]

My mom was like this, too, and then at 79 she died of an aggressive cancer four weeks after diagnosis. Cherish every minute with your mom!