79 years old -- my mom looks and feels great, and is not needy at all

[Anonymous]

Count your blessings and enjoy it while it lasts. The eighties are a whole new ballgame.

[Anonymous]

“Pride goeth before a fall.”

My MIL was slim and active and healthy and then had a massive stroke at 71. Now she’s a shell of herself and a significant burden. Life isn’t fair.

[Anonymous]

Basically every post in response to OP says -- Sure, things are fine now, but they will go downhill quickly.

I see it a little differently. Yes, OP seems smug. But it seems like something to celebrate that her mom lives so well at age 79, even if it will be short-lived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basically every post in response to OP says -- Sure, things are fine now, but they will go downhill quickly.

I see it a little differently. Yes, OP seems smug. But it seems like something to celebrate that her mom lives so well at age 79, even if it will be short-lived.

Sure, it's great! But I, at least, was responding to what seemed like a suggestion that OP and her mother did everything right, and that's why her mother is in great shape at 79. Taking care of oneself might increase the odds of being independent at 79, but there's a lot of luck involved as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny, I'm 50 and I have no medical issues at all, and yet I have peers with breast cancer. It doesn't need to be that way.
It's almost like ... people are different.

You’re my kind of people 😂

[Anonymous]

My mom was the same at 79- lived alone, very active and had no complaints. Then she was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 4 months later, still at 79.
Enjoy it while it lasts, OP.

[Anonymous]

Not trying to rub it in.....how is your dad doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On this forum, I read about a lot of people whose parents are in their late 70's, and seem to be kind of a mess, or very needy.

Not trying to rub it in at all, but age 79 should not mean that a person is a hopeless mess.

My mom is 79, and she still works (elected politician), looks great, works out daily, dresses really nicely, has done of friends, and is just a very strong person. (My mom has been widowed since at 59, but she has a big group of friends who like to travel together, go to symphony concerts, etc.)

She is not needy AT ALL.

My mom went to her high school reunion recently (high school class of 1960). She sent me a photo of her with all of her classmates. Her classmates all look old and kind of like they have let themselves go. My mom (without ANY plastic surgery) looks so much younger than they are -- she is slim and always dresses in a stylish way.

When I hear about other peoples' parents who are kind of a mess at this age, it seems like it does not need to be that way.

Really? Because YOUR mom is healthy and vibrant and well-dressed at 79, then everyone else is doing it wrong?

Read this thread thoroughly, OP, and be grateful.

My mother is healthy and independent at 78. But she's one stroke away from assisted living. Or one bad biopsy away from dying of cancer. Or one distracted step into the street away from being paralyzed from the neck down. And who knows how long she can keep up with the latest dress styles. (That worries me terribly.)

Your mom didn't do everything right while the rest of us did everything wrong. She just lucked out. And her luck will run out. She'll get sick, or start forgetting things, or wear white after Labor Day.

Hope you don't judge her then the way you seem to be judging everyone else now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course this forum isn’t full of people posting to say, “Everything is going great with my parents. Alive and well at 79.” People post when there is a problem or they have a question. It’s the same reason the relationship forum isn’t full of people posting to say, “I’m happily married. Nothing to report here.”

+1 also obviously it is good to exercise, be healthy and mentally engaged. But among my parents and aunts and uncles it's the one who drank and smoked who is doing the best at 85+. Some of it is just luck.

[Anonymous]

I’m 70 and my husband is 71 and we are doing our best to stay active with sports, workouts, me with long walks with grand babies and eating reasonably healthy diets. We love to travel, at least pre Covid, and look forward to hitting the road again next year. We maintain a very active love life which may be crazy at our age but it reminds us of our youth. We know that our health could turn in a flash so it’s best to really enjoy it now.

[Anonymous]

Don't mind you relaying this information Op, but have it be the extent of the celebration of your family's good fortune.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course this forum isn’t full of people posting to say, “Everything is going great with my parents. Alive and well at 79.” People post when there is a problem or they have a question. It’s the same reason the relationship forum isn’t full of people posting to say, “I’m happily married. Nothing to report here.”

+1 also obviously it is good to exercise, be healthy and mentally engaged. But among my parents and aunts and uncles it's the one who drank and smoked who is doing the best at 85+. Some of it is just luck.

My inlaws eat like crap, barely go to a doctor and never take prescribed meds. They are 88 and 89 and live independantly. I do not reccomend this path but they are doing better than many younger people I know. Its alot of luck.

[Anonymous]

My parents are both 70 and very active and my IL’s are the same age but seem 10-15 years older. They’ve had very different lifestyles a d that’s made a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like an awful, judgmental person. My mother was doing great at 73! Active, independent, looked younger than her age, exercised regularly and ate well. Then she got diagnosed with glioblastoma and was dead by 74. There's literally nothing you can do to prevent that kind of cancer, and it's 99.9% fatal in a year, maybe two years if you're lucky, young, and aggressively treated. Just because you did everything "right" doesn't mean the universe will reward you with good health. As a lot of other PPs have said, a lot of staying in good health after a certain age is just luck.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP is posting to compensate because something is very wrong. Otherwise, this post is just a pointless brag.
Aging healthfully is a mix of money, luck, good genes, and taking care of yourself. It's a roll of the dice.
I feel sorry that OP felt the need to post -- something clearly was compelling them to have to get this out there.