If you're 35 or over, how many close friends do you have
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Anonymous
| zero |
Anonymous
| 3. I’ve known them for 20+ years. |
Anonymous
| zero |
Anonymous
|
42, super introverted.
1 super close friend from the 90s, who really "gets me." She's far away but we text a lot and see each other a couple times a year or so. I would tell her anything, we are always there for each other. Maybe 10-12 or so local "friends" with whom we do various things--the friends we invite over for a cookout, or to go to a show, or the friend I have lunch with or go see a museum exhibit, the handful of parent / neighbor friends who we met through our kid or at the pool, etc. I could count on them if I needed something, but we're not super-close. We've lived here 7 years and it has taken this long to cultivate this group. I do work with an amazing group of people and while I wouldn't call them friends, I enjoy being with them, having happy hours, and we help each other out if needed. A couple of friends who are out of town and we might make plans to go to the beach together, rent a cabin for the weekend, etc. Probably another dozen or so people I stay in touch with but who are far-flung and I see rarely. We'll meet up for drinks or dinner or an outing if we happen to be near each other. Unfortunately, I had another friend from the 90s who I also considered super close, but who has recently gone down the anti-mask / anti-vax right-wing conspiracy theory hole and I don't count her as close anymore. |
Anonymous
| None local. DH and I have close friends from grad school when were in a married couples group at the grad school. They live all over but we try to see them each every year or two and sometimes travel together. But I haven’t been able to form as close of a new friendship since then. I thought I did in baby group with my first baby, but once the kids went to K it kind of just evaporated and now we are all just FB friends despite living nearby. Yet I can see a grad school friend after 2 years and pickup like no time passed at all. |
Anonymous
| Only swingers have close friends after 20 years of marriage |
Anonymous
| I don’t mean this to be mean but I’m really surprised so many people don’t have close friends. I have at least two from every phase of my life from elementary school through my career. |
Anonymous
|
Aww, I will be friends with all of you who have indicated zero friends!
I am fortunate to have grown up locally so, therefore, collected friends throughout childhood whom I am still in touch with and consider friends as well as new friends - mostly friends of my partner or parents of my DC (4) friends. I also am still friendly with former coworkers, friends from college and neighbors. I consider all of these people friends. In terms of close friends, I probably have 5 or 6 including my siblings and/or besties from college. |
Anonymous
Yes! I agree this is surprising and sad. Just be friendly and kind and thoughtful and you will have no problem collecting friends from every stage of life! |
Anonymous
|
36 here, I don't know what you're counting as "close friends," but I've got:
6 people whom I go golfing with 2 or 3 of most weekends and occasionally meet up for drinks. 3 couples my wife and I keep in regular contact with (text chains) and before the pandemic usually hung out with at least once a month, usually more. Now it's closer to every few months but I expect it to go back to normal eventually. 10 or so people I'm in regular contact with via text chains and whom I play online video games (with voice chat) with a couple times a week, but they don't live in the area. I see them in person maybe once a year when I visit their cities or they visit mine. If all those count, then I guess that's 20+, but if you only count the people I hang out with in person regularly then more like 12. |
Anonymous
| I'm 35. I have 1 best friend from high school and 2 from college. I've been in DC for a decade and don't have any close friends here, just acquaintances who I see a handful of times throughout the year. I text my friends on an as needed basis or whenever we feel like checking in or catching up |
Anonymous
| One best friend from high school, we text very mundane things regularly but only speak on the phone every other month or so (she lives in another country). No close friends from college, and maybe 5-6 close friends I’ve made since having kids. See and speak/text with them regularly. |
Anonymous
Then you were likely stable in life. I moved every year or every 2 years from 10 until 26 and went to 4 different high schools. I also didnt go to college right out of high school. I always felt a phase behind everyone else. Example, while other people in their mid20s graduated and had jobs I was in college finishing my degree plus working FT. I didnt have time to invest in relationships with other people my age and everyone else in college was like 19-21. I made good friends with people waitressing but once I moved onto a FT job and had a kid, there was little in common and no time to meet up- when they were free, I was working and vice versa. I spent 1 year PP struggling with PPA and then the pandemic hit. My 1 close friend is from when I was 17. I tried to keep relationships with other HS friends but everyone went their separate ways in college. I have a good friend from work. I have a good new mom friend whose kid and my kid really like each other. |
Anonymous
I have plenty of that type of friend, I am friendly and kind but I don’t keep in touch with everyone I’ve been friends with at different stages. I moved onto marriage/parenthood earlier than most of my peers at the time and I made new friends who were at that life stage at the same time. This means that most of my friends are 5-15 or more older than I am, but I was always “old for my age” so I feel fine. Still have a close hs friend and a couple of other close friends from college/grad school who have actually re-emerged in a way now that they’re hitting the milestones I hit some years ago. |
Anonymous
Count yourself lucky. It is not easy for all of us! I am a kind and thoughtful person but do not have many close friends. I have trouble connecting with people. I realize it is "on me" but it doesn't mean that it is not hard and lonely. At almost 50, I have stopped trying frankly and am just grateful for the handful of good friends I have even though I do not see them often. |