If you're 35 or over, how many close friends do you have

[Anonymous]

Close friends, like I'd have them in my wedding or consider them as potential guardians of my children: 2. Not local. We text multiple times a day. BTW, FWIW, both of these people are women I met when I was over 30 (I'm 37).

Local good friends who I spend social time with but might lose contact with if they moved away. I'd go to their birthday parties and, if relevant, our kids play together: ~5. I see these people a few times a quarter, sometimes more, sometimes less. If my DH was out of town and I needed something if I fell ill or something, these would be the people I'd call.

People I'd consider good friends, but not super close (either anymore, or ever): probably 50. These are the kind of people I text if something strikes me and I want to share it, and would meet up with if I was in town or vice versa.

I've always been an extrovert who makes friends easily but has a hard time bringing them into the "best friend forever" category -- hence the wide gap between my number of "good friends" and my two lifer friends. Partially this has to do with moving every 5 years or so in my adult life up till this point, partially it has to do with me having a hard time being vulnerable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say 5 who are my "core" closest friends (known for 25-40 years), a group of 4 from high school who I see a few times a year, an additional 5-6 neighborhood friends who I would consider close and then a dozen or so other neighborhood friends who I see often but aren't close. I'm still friends with several former co-workers but would only consider one a "close" friend. I also have three cousins who I'm very close with.

I'm also from here and went to school here so its easier to maintain friendships when they are all close-by.

Not to diminish your number of friends, but I think this here is key. I live in a huge non DC city and when people so much as move to the suburbs it's amazing how a formerly good friend can become a "oh, yeah, I used to know this person." Proximity can do a LOT for a friendship.

[Anonymous]

35 yo woman here, have lived everywhere (south, east coast, west coast, overseas). Have about 6-10 close friends, none of whom are local to me (either live in San Francisco or overseas- no exaggeration). We talk several times a week via text, catch up with each about once a week (on average) with a phone call, and see them whenever we can!

New to my latest (and hopefully, final!) city, and would like to make local friends for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

4 super close friends from childhood, now live around the world but on Whatsapp daily and see each other when we can (vacation planned together this year, for example).

6 close friends from school, mostly in different places, on Whatsapp frequently and go to each other's significant events like weddings, and see each other when we are in the same places, but not as much as the first group.

Around 8 local friends who are all moms of kids' friends that I've got to know over the last 6 years of living here. We text frequently and see other often at kid things, and also hang out without kids occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 super close friends from childhood, now live around the world but on Whatsapp daily and see each other when we can (vacation planned together this year, for example).

6 close friends from school, mostly in different places, on Whatsapp frequently and go to each other's significant events like weddings, and see each other when we are in the same places, but not as much as the first group.

Around 8 local friends who are all moms of kids' friends that I've got to know over the last 6 years of living here. We text frequently and see other often at kid things, and also hang out without kids occasionally.

And to answer the other question, I'm a WOH (though now at home) mom, I have never SAH. I'm 40, and none of the above friends is from work. I have made a few friends through work - I'd say I have 4 from different jobs that I am still in touch with and we speak every few months and email/text occasionally. I really like them but haven't seen them for a while.

[Anonymous]

None. I have a friend from college I email with once every 2-3 months, but I haven't seen him in more than a decade. I have some people at work I'm friendly with, but if any of us quit working there we wouldn't keep in touch. Otherwise, I haven't emailed, texted, or spoken on the phone to a "friend" in years.

It's really just my personality. I can't imagine wanting to communicate with any frequency. I'm already annoyed at how little time I get to spend by myself while not working.

[Anonymous]

It really depends how you define close. I have a childhood friend who is my ride or die; even though we don't see each other often, we text regularly and would be there for each other instantly if need be (she's local, but our kids are different ages so we don't hang out as much).

I have five friends who I text with pretty regularly; three of them are neighbors and have kids in school with mine. We all vacationed together this summer and do girls nights, etc. Two others are friends from other things (work, preschool).

I make friends easily and am a good friend. I have other friends from work, the neighborhood, etc., not super close but who would help each other in a pinch.

[Anonymous]

^^I'm 45, grew up here but don't keep in touch with most childhood friends. There are a few other close friends I see rarely but still care about and keep in touch with. I'm back up medical contact for one of them, even though we don't see each other often. That kind of relationship

[Anonymous]

I’m 41.. I would say I have about 15-20, but I would separate them in categories of super close and close. I’ve been friends with most of them over 15 years and some are from childhood. My oldest friend I don’t speak to as much, but I would still consider her to be a super close friend.. she’s just not much of a texter. Some I text with every day and some multiple times a week. Most are not local.

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

I am fortunate that I have an awesome group of likeminded friends who helped me not go nuts during the pandemic. Even when we didn’t see each other we group chatted. Meet ups formally are like once a month but informally happen more often. But the sad thing is my DH no longer wants to live in the DC area so we moved away and now I feel so lonely. I’m 39.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy, mid 40s. I've had the same set of "good" friends for about 20 years. 2 high school friends are my best friends and 2-3 friends from college are good friends. Sadly, I haven't really made new friends after college.

The other sad part is that most of these guys live out of state so I rarely see them.

Another guy here, same story.

Part of it is friendships with families are driven by DWs, and my DW is a major introvert and perfectly happy with just nuclear family and that’s it.

Fostering my own friendships requires too much logistics and coordination with family. I wish I played sports when younger so I could help the dads coach our kids teams, but as I’m less than useless on field it has not worked out

Oh I volunteer to coach anyway. I just help the head coach with logistics and subs and all the stuff they hate doing.

[Anonymous]

Another guy here. 2 from college but they are less close than before since we all live in different states and don’t see each other often. Two others who are family friends through DW who we see regularly.

I’m shy and have a hard time making close friends. It sucks. O

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And how often do you see them in person or text with them?

I’m a 52-year-old woman, and I have 4 very close friends whom I see ~weekly. We have a regular (daily) group text as well. These ladies are my go-to group for everything.

Then I have two other sets of close friends, but I see them much less often - maybe twice a year. One set is ~5 women who I’ve known for 25 years since our kids were in preschool, and the other set is 3 women from high school.

[Anonymous]

About 3. 1 I see daily because we work together. Another I am lucky to see once per year because we don’t live locally. 1 other I see about once per month because we works for the same company but not in the same part.

So yes. 2/3 are from work. The other is a childhood friend.