Ready to cut brothers out of mother’s Will!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is how wills get successfully contested.

Seriously. OP, attempting to influence someone to change their will in your favor is a huge no-no. (I mean, seriously, you think you deserve to triple your inheritance because you spent two hours googling assisted living facilities?) Plus, you know how it goes with the elderly sometimes as age-related mental issues start to set in: they blab. If you tell your mom to cut out your brothers, she'll probably end up telling them, and that's not going to end well for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an attorney, though not an estate lawyer, but I have managed a lot of my parents' estate paperwork. I am also the one of several siblings who does 98 percent of the work.

You need to tread carefully here. You should not advocate for your siblings to be cut out of the will, especially when your mother has just had a stroke. That's not appropriate.

I agree you should try to get a POA since you care more about her being comfortable, but you have to be careful about how you go about that. The attorney needs to do it, not you.

But you should not push to have the will rewritten. You could face charges of undue influence.

This is all correct. You need to be careful OP or there may be grounds later to invalidate your mom’s will entirely.

And, even if the will holds up, it will cost OP (a) an expensive and gut-wrenching legal battle and (b) her relationship with her siblings. OP, are you prepared to lose your siblings over this?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I was literally just venting as far as the Will goes. And to all the pps. The shithole my brothers were ready to place her in down the street from them was disgusting with shared rooms and bathrooms. The beautiful place I found for her is exactly 5.8 miles from them!!! As far as the dog goes this sibling works pt time, lives in a house with huge yard and is a dog person. The dog is healthy with no issues and trained perfectly. All she does is sleep all day because of her age. I can’t take the dog because I have cats and not home enough.
I’m the one trying so hard to make this transition for our mother as comfortable as possible. She hates it so far and I can only imagine how she would feel sharing a small room with some stranger in a converted house surrounded by comatose old people in recliners. She’d be a basket case!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was literally just venting as far as the Will goes. And to all the pps. The shithole my brothers were ready to place her in down the street from them was disgusting with shared rooms and bathrooms. The beautiful place I found for her is exactly 5.8 miles from them!!! As far as the dog goes this sibling works pt time, lives in a house with huge yard and is a dog person. The dog is healthy with no issues and trained perfectly. All she does is sleep all day because of her age. I can’t take the dog because I have cats and not home enough.
I’m the one trying so hard to make this transition for our mother as comfortable as possible. She hates it so far and I can only imagine how she would feel sharing a small room with some stranger in a converted house surrounded by comatose old people in recliners. She’d be a basket case!

You talk in extremes. Your brothers found some shit hole and you found paradise. The dog is so easy and your evil brother a dog person won't take him. You will burn out or go nuts fast if you keep going with these extremes. Get help and learn how to see the gray areas. Maybe the therapist will agree your brothers are just no good, terrible, awful humans. If so, great, but you need to deal with all your hostility and rage that is spilling out. It's a Loooooong haul with declining parents. I say this as someone who can relate to some of what you say. I spent years being the rescuer for my parents and their appreciation turned to abusive behavior. I so get how no good deed can go unpunished with time. I had to get help for my anger and frustration, do what I could handle, accept reality and detach. I gave way too much energy to obsessing over how rotten a sibling was and all it did was hurt me. Good luck.