Ready to cut brothers out of mother’s Will!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.

And what about OP? She is contributing her time and effort into finding solutions that work for THEIR mom. The minimum her brother can do is take care of the dog. And did you read the part where brother wanted to put mom into that hole to save money?

I’d pay OP (which is what I do with my mom) but not change the will.

Family gets $50/hr when helping with my mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an attorney, though not an estate lawyer, but I have managed a lot of my parents' estate paperwork. I am also the one of several siblings who does 98 percent of the work.

You need to tread carefully here. You should not advocate for your siblings to be cut out of the will, especially when your mother has just had a stroke. That's not appropriate.

I agree you should try to get a POA since you care more about her being comfortable, but you have to be careful about how you go about that. The attorney needs to do it, not you.

But you should not push to have the will rewritten. You could face charges of undue influence.

This is all correct. You need to be careful OP or there may be grounds later to invalidate your mom’s will entirely.

[Anonymous]

OP: Unfortunately most families have a version of you. Playing the victim is an evil strategy. There’s more to this story.

[Anonymous]

Well, first of all, good for you for finding a good place for your mom. If you're able to get power of attorney and organize that, and find a place for the dog (why is it in an empty house?), and get other things straight, do that.

Sometimes siblings don't help. It sucks, but it is what it is and your mom's lucky to have you.

As for you will comment, I'll just assume that was anger talking. Because it's really inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.

And what about OP? She is contributing her time and effort into finding solutions that work for THEIR mom. The minimum her brother can do is take care of the dog. And did you read the part where brother wanted to put mom into that hole to save money?

It sounds like the brothers' solution would have worked for their mother, too. It just didn't work for OP.

[Anonymous]

You sound very controlling and vindictive. You are clearly trying to make yourself out to be the hero while they are the evil villains. Get some help to figure out how to navigate this and manage your extreme anger and savior complex. I say this as the person who had to the most for my elderly parents. Stop the drama and work with reality.

[Anonymous]

Op- you are a good daughter for finding your mom someplace nice to live. Your brothers were being lazy and complacent.

However, you have to drop the dog issue. No one should be forced to take an animal if they don't want one. Sorry, but dog should be given away or put to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Is the mom still competent to designate a POA? When my mom had her medical and durable POA drawn up over 10 years ago, the lawyer spoke to her privately for several minutes to make sure that was what she really wanted (this was prior to any mental decline and was just one part of her estate planning).

And I'm hoping the nice assisted living place is close enough for all the siblings to visit.

[Anonymous]

Your mother wouldn’t want you to cut your brothers out of her will, OP. You’re not thinkin about this as a loving parent would.

[Anonymous]

Op, you need to listen to lawyers
It will make you sound intelligent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.

And what about OP? She is contributing her time and effort into finding solutions that work for THEIR mom. The minimum her brother can do is take care of the dog. And did you read the part where brother wanted to put mom into that hole to save money?

It sounds like the brothers' solution would have worked for their mother, too. It just didn't work for OP.

Thing is, for some, daily visits would be better than a nice view. So OPs choice might not be all that great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.

And what about OP? She is contributing her time and effort into finding solutions that work for THEIR mom. The minimum her brother can do is take care of the dog. And did you read the part where brother wanted to put mom into that hole to save money?

It sounds like the brothers' solution would have worked for their mother, too. It just didn't work for OP.

Thing is, for some, daily visits would be better than a nice view. So OPs choice might not be all that great.

Daily visits and close monitoring by multiple family members is much better than a nice view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My independent mother had a stroke which has left her dependent on others. We had to find her an assistant living facility in just a few weeks! My brothers were literally ready to put her in this disgusting AL down the street from where they live. I was the one who went to see it in person and I died at the thought of her going there. My brothers thought I was being dramatic and prissy. I researched for hours on end and toured several ALs. Finally found a gorgeous place with beautiful views from her bay windows overlooking the water. It’s 2k more than their roach motel which she can afford easily. Anyway asking my brothers for help doing anything is like pulling teeth. I just asked one brother to take in her old dog that sleeps all day and has no issues because he’s not reliable enough to go and let her out so she’s having accidents in my moms house plus I’m sure the dog is lonely. Fyi he’s not married, no kids. Of course I got a snarky answer. I’m just ready to have my mom cut them out of her Will I’m so angry. My mom and I are meeting with attorney to make me her POA.

Why don’t you take the dog in?

[Anonymous]

All of this is irrelevant. OP, your POA does not give you the power to change your mom’s will.

[Anonymous]

Tough crowd as usual. OP was mostly venting. She is not going to try to change the will; she is just angry.

OP do your brothers do much (or anything) to help your mom now?