Ready to cut brothers out of mother’s Will!

[Anonymous]

My independent mother had a stroke which has left her dependent on others. We had to find her an assistant living facility in just a few weeks! My brothers were literally ready to put her in this disgusting AL down the street from where they live. I was the one who went to see it in person and I died at the thought of her going there. My brothers thought I was being dramatic and prissy. I researched for hours on end and toured several ALs. Finally found a gorgeous place with beautiful views from her bay windows overlooking the water. It’s 2k more than their roach motel which she can afford easily. Anyway asking my brothers for help doing anything is like pulling teeth. I just asked one brother to take in her old dog that sleeps all day and has no issues because he’s not reliable enough to go and let her out so she’s having accidents in my moms house plus I’m sure the dog is lonely. Fyi he’s not married, no kids. Of course I got a snarky answer. I’m just ready to have my mom cut them out of her Will I’m so angry. My mom and I are meeting with attorney to make me her POA.

[Anonymous]

Um, it’s not your money. Don’t do things with the expectation of return via inheritance. Sorry your about your mom and sorry your brother sucks.

[Anonymous]

Your brothers are ready to write her off (and save their inheritance). That is so sad.

I think you have to make sure to document and have a note from the doctor that she is mentally capable of making decisions, otherwise your brothers might argue that she was not and you pressured her to change the will.

[Anonymous]

Does your brother have a job out of the home. Not married and no kids and works all day is not a good solution for a pet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, it’s not your money. Don’t do things with the expectation of return via inheritance. Sorry your about your mom and sorry your brother sucks.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.

[Anonymous]

OP get a grip this is not your call. The money is not yours. it is your mothers.

While I have major issues with my siblings my parents fiances are theirs. PERIOD>

[Anonymous]

I don't care what your brothers are doing, it's not your place to cut them out of your mother's will. Accept that life is unfair sometimes and that you can sleep at night because you know you're taking good care of your mom - that is a wonderful thing!

[Anonymous]

oh wow... oh wow... OP. you cannot be serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.

And what about OP? She is contributing her time and effort into finding solutions that work for THEIR mom. The minimum her brother can do is take care of the dog. And did you read the part where brother wanted to put mom into that hole to save money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound dramatic and awful.

Asking someone to take a dog is a big responsibility. Just because he's not married and doesn't have kids doesn't mean he wants a dog. If the dog is old it'll have a lot of medical problems. Has it occurred to you that maybe the brother doesn't have pets because he doesn't WANT that responsibility?

Maybe your brothers wanted to put your mom in a place where she'd be nearby and they could visit her regularly. Just because you invested a few hours to find a different place doesn't leave you entitled to tons of money.

Stop being greedy and a martyr. Man, you really just sound like an awful person.

And what about OP? She is contributing her time and effort into finding solutions that work for THEIR mom. The minimum her brother can do is take care of the dog. And did you read the part where brother wanted to put mom into that hole to save money?

The brothers didn't say they wanted their mom to be in the place close to them to save money. Re-read the OP. That was not said at all. So what if OP is contributing her time and effort? Maybe the brothers are contributing THEIR time and effort in other ways. Maybe they're sitting there hand-feeding her or talking with her doctors or helping her do OT and PT or cleaning her house, etc. OP is not the only one doing something. She's just loudest here about what she's doing.

[Anonymous]

I am an attorney, though not an estate lawyer, but I have managed a lot of my parents' estate paperwork. I am also the one of several siblings who does 98 percent of the work.

You need to tread carefully here. You should not advocate for your siblings to be cut out of the will, especially when your mother has just had a stroke. That's not appropriate.

I agree you should try to get a POA since you care more about her being comfortable, but you have to be careful about how you go about that. The attorney needs to do it, not you.

But you should not push to have the will rewritten. You could face charges of undue influence.

[Anonymous]

Wow op. You are terrible. You sound overwhelmed. Mayeb you should seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an attorney, though not an estate lawyer, but I have managed a lot of my parents' estate paperwork. I am also the one of several siblings who does 98 percent of the work.

You need to tread carefully here. You should not advocate for your siblings to be cut out of the will, especially when your mother has just had a stroke. That's not appropriate.

I agree you should try to get a POA since you care more about her being comfortable, but you have to be careful about how you go about that. The attorney needs to do it, not you.

But you should not push to have the will rewritten. You could face charges of undue influence.

I wrote this and just wanted to add. Also, the fact that your brother does not have kids or a wife is totally irrelevant. That does not mean he has to take in a dog and that does not mean that his life and time is less valuable than yours.

[Anonymous]

Op you are a psycho and need therapy.